Sszdrin sat on a balcony overlooking the Ishtar Sea. He had walked a considerable distance from Myn's home and his feet ached. Sorrow, his ever-present companion, only served to increase the looming irascible facade that he carried with him. He couldn't help it. Part of him loved Myn - her smile, her sparkling eyes - part of him hated her - her smile, her sparkling eyes. She could drive him to madness, but still, he couldn't help but feel alone on the balcony and filled with worry, regret, and sorrow.
Myn was going to bear his child - a child that wouldn't and couldn't know him. It was an accident, she shouldn't have been able to get pregnant at all, but she did and everything was at risk. He had turned his back once again on his Drow brethren - if he were to show his face it would be instant death. If they found out Myn was his lover - they'd kill her first and force him to watch. If they ever had this kid coming around asking about him - it would be a slow and painful death for the child and an incredible hunt. Better to slink away, lick his wounds, and hide. At least Myn would tell the child he was dead. No questions, no pain, no death.
Hiding - it was what he did well. He seemed destined to do it forever. He was oversized for his race, easy to find when he wanted to be, but Sszdrin didn't want to hide forever. It was tiring. Every eye turned onto him wherever he went - marked not only by the color of his skin, but by the legendary hatred of his race by all others. He felt like a fool ever thinking he could live outside of them, and now, he could never go back.
Sszdrin stared down at the water and the small specks of boats that fished its great depths. He stood up at the edge of the balcony, the sea-breeze lifting his stark white hair, as the sun set to the west. He could jump - the impact would likely crush his bones before ever he sank into the water. He set his jaw and looked down. To jump would mean he would never, ever be able to watch Myn and his child from afar. If word ever did get back that the child was his, someone would have to protect them both.
With a drow curse beneath his breath, Sszdrin turned on his heel and went back into inn room. He would go back tomorrow. He would slink about in the woods around Myn's house - he had nothing better to do. He would let her think he had vanished completely and all the while, he'd watch over them. No one would see him and more importantly, no one would hurt her without feeling the steel of his dagger in their back.
