Claire appeared in a flash of purple light that shot through Ruthivan's room, illuminating his sleeping form on the bed. Claire crept closer and looked down at him. He looked lost, haggard, scraggly, and most of all, exhausted. She loathed him, the way he had forced this link upon her, the way he had succeeded in tearing apart her life with Gilean. Yes, death would certainly end the bond, but to kill an esper - indeed to kill anyone - was beneath Claire's capacity. There had to be another way.
Claire stood there for a long moment, staring down at Ruthivan's sleeping form, and thought about leaving. But the smell of him, sweat - forest - leather, made her body dance with a charged energy. Every atom in her skin seemed to vibrate and as if calling out to his, they roused Ruthivan.
Claire held her breath as, by the light of her own purple skin, Ruthivan's dark red eyes locked onto her. She could see in that moment the confusion, the state of believing it to be a dream, then the realization that it wasn't. She loathed him. Yes, she truly did loathe him. But she felt herself willingly go as he pulled her to him. Like a drug, his kiss sent Claire into a swoon of intoxication. Logic could tell her why. But all logic had been left standing at the bedside.
"You can stay here with me, you know..."
"No. I can't."
"Why? Why not?" Claire rose from the bed and dressed, facing away from Ruthivan. "I just... can't. I'll bring the children to see you tomorrow but..." In a moment she was back at the cottage, slipping into her familiar bed. She knew Gilean was awake, but she couldn't bear to touch him. She wasn't sure he'd let her if she tried.
Renewed Vigor
Lost and Found
Claire stared out of the window that faced the back of her cottage. She watched the lazy stream bubble and babble its way over the rocks, scattering the sunlight on its surface. She watched the tufts of pollen that dropped from the trees, glowing speckles that drifted on the light breeze. They had more freedom than she.
Night finally fell and the children were tucked away in bed. Claire sat with Gilean, watching him read in his chair, the firelight casting a deep yellow glow on his skin. From the corner of his eye, he looked over at her and closed his book. He gave a warm, though pitying smile. "You seem troubled," he said gently.
"I can't keep doing this, Gilean," Claire replied.
"Doing what?"
"Staying inside, locked away from life out of fear."
"There's nothing else we can do."
"I am going to go to him."
A sudden chill went through the room and Gilean looked down at his lap. Claire sighed lightly. "I know we have been trying to let this bond die, but it's not, Gilean. I am losing my mind."
"I just think that given time-"
"How much time? I'm... I'm miserable, Gilean. This method is not the answer. I'm not feeling less drawn to him, on the contrary, it's gotten worse."
"I don't know what else I can say," he whispered.
Claire's heart ached for Gilean. She hated what she did to him, hated making him hurt, but she could do nothing about what nature had placed between herself and Ruthivan. She stood up and walked over to Gilean, giving him a small hug, one that was meekly returned. "I'll be back." A nod was all she gained by way of a reply.
Night finally fell and the children were tucked away in bed. Claire sat with Gilean, watching him read in his chair, the firelight casting a deep yellow glow on his skin. From the corner of his eye, he looked over at her and closed his book. He gave a warm, though pitying smile. "You seem troubled," he said gently.
"I can't keep doing this, Gilean," Claire replied.
"Doing what?"
"Staying inside, locked away from life out of fear."
"There's nothing else we can do."
"I am going to go to him."
A sudden chill went through the room and Gilean looked down at his lap. Claire sighed lightly. "I know we have been trying to let this bond die, but it's not, Gilean. I am losing my mind."
"I just think that given time-"
"How much time? I'm... I'm miserable, Gilean. This method is not the answer. I'm not feeling less drawn to him, on the contrary, it's gotten worse."
"I don't know what else I can say," he whispered.
Claire's heart ached for Gilean. She hated what she did to him, hated making him hurt, but she could do nothing about what nature had placed between herself and Ruthivan. She stood up and walked over to Gilean, giving him a small hug, one that was meekly returned. "I'll be back." A nod was all she gained by way of a reply.
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