That night Sanria laid in bed with Colin talking. He was deeply unsettled by their visitor, and no matter how much she tried to calm him and reassure him, it seemed Colin was destined to inherently dislike anyone that came to visit or stay. They were getting nowhere in their discussions when Sanria felt the pangs of hunger. It was odd to her that she felt hungry at all, in general, once she had gone to bed for the night, she didn't feel the need to eat until the following morning. "I am going to go to the kitchen, I'm hungry."
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Colin asked, still on the heels of their discussion about Velentham.
"Colin..."
With a somewhat irritated sigh, Sanria got up and donned her robe. She arrived in the kitchen to see Velentham sitting at the table. His smile was warm and it set her at ease. "Oh, I didn't know you would be down here. I was just a bit hungry."
"I felt a little bit hungry myself."
Sanria noted the fact that the man did not have any food before him, but let this minor fact go. She retrieved a plate of fruit from the ice box, knowing it would be there so long as Colin was around. He always had fruit cut up and ready to eat at any time.
Before long, Sanria found herself in conversation with Velentham, and then his hands were on her head. She had wanted for the longest time to regain her memories and he was giving her the chance. Instantly, every single moment of her life flooded back to her - every man, every child, every good time, every bad. Finally, the death of Throm and the heart-rending, soul-crushing feeling that it left her with, and her own death. Tears came from her eyes and she felt Velentham's hands move to her chin. Her chest hurt, as though crushed, when his lips found hers.
In that moment, she was there in the plane with him. They were there, hand in hand, walking along - laughing. They were there, sitting at the edge of the pond - brilliant colors of the plane all around them - kissing. The overwhelming sensation of love flooded her, love for Velentham. She pulled away and looked at the man before her. That was the past, he was the past, and she had promised herself that if she remembered, she would let it all be the past.
"I thank you for everything you've done tonight. I - needed to remember all of this so I could say goodbye to it."
"What? Sanria, no..."
"I can't be that woman again. I... have to go."
"Please - wait..."
"Goodnight Velentham."
She rushed back to bed, to Colin's ever waiting arms. She told him she remembered. She told him that it didn't matter. And it didn't. She might have all her memories now, but it wouldn't change the current facts. She just wouldn't let that happen.
Backfires and Downdrafts
Velentham knew that Colin didn't want him to stay. His saving grace had actually been his cousin's name - a fact in which the irony was not lost. Sanria had talked Colin into not tossing him out and so the Celestial found himself walking behind the big man up the stairs to one of the guest rooms, leaving the love of his life behind him.
Velentham laid there for several hours before deciding to meet with Sanria. It was late and he rose and moved though the cavern without a sound, down to the kitchen. He sent forth a wave of energies, subversive, yes, but it got the job done. In moments, she entered the kitchen claiming she was hungry.
He watched her walk over to get the fruit from the ice box. He watched her sit down and he sat beside her. The whole of the situation made Velentham's heart ache. He loved her to the point of pain. He crossed through the hells to come back to her. "Have you thought about seeing if there's a way to get the memories back?"
"I've thought about it many a time. I've been told by druids that I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, I've been asked by Colin not to seek out my past -"
"Why don't they want you to remember anything?"
"I was troubled enough to want to take my own life. I guess they all feel that the memories would bring back those feelings and maybe make me completely unsettled again."
"What if I told you I could help you remember? If I could ease the burden of feeling but give you back your memories, would you? If I could ensure that you knew all you needed to know... that you remembered your past self but without the pain... would you want that?"
Sanria's nod was enough. He couldn't let her change her mind, so before another word could be spoken, Velentham placed his hands on each side of her head. The block he found within her mind was massive, but no match for his abilities. In mere instants he cleared away the darkness and let Sanria feel her memories for only a moment. He moved in, placing his lips to hers, sending calm, joy, and peace with the kiss. Enhancing the memories of himself and their time together until she pulled away.
"Velentham..." she began. "I'm with... Colin..."
"I know. But that can be remedied."
"I remember it all... and I thank you... but I haven't forgotten what happened afterward. Colin... may have been a bit subversive in getting us together... but..."
No. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He had been good, he hadn't forced her to do anything. This was not right. "Sanria... please... don't... I told him I would let you choose... but I didn't anticipate that you would choose him over me."
"Velentham... He's... my husband. The father of my children."
"But... I love you. Everything about you. Your soul, your mind, your body... if you give me the chance I promise you, you'll never want for anything again. You'll never worry about anything. You'll never experience pain. I'd be yours forever, and I could make it so that you could be the same to me."
"I thank you for everything you've done tonight. I... needed to remember all of this so I could say goodbye to it."
"What? Sanria, no..." This couldn't be.
"I can't be that woman again. I... have to go."
"Please - wait..."
"Goodnight Velentham."
Sanria left the room and Velentham felt his heart fall. He was crushed, he was hurt, he was... angry. His eyes flashed silver and his nostrils flared. He stormed from the kitchen and into the garden. He took off, flying upward in the skies, screaming in rage. This would not do. This would not be the way this ended.
Velentham laid there for several hours before deciding to meet with Sanria. It was late and he rose and moved though the cavern without a sound, down to the kitchen. He sent forth a wave of energies, subversive, yes, but it got the job done. In moments, she entered the kitchen claiming she was hungry.
He watched her walk over to get the fruit from the ice box. He watched her sit down and he sat beside her. The whole of the situation made Velentham's heart ache. He loved her to the point of pain. He crossed through the hells to come back to her. "Have you thought about seeing if there's a way to get the memories back?"
"I've thought about it many a time. I've been told by druids that I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, I've been asked by Colin not to seek out my past -"
"Why don't they want you to remember anything?"
"I was troubled enough to want to take my own life. I guess they all feel that the memories would bring back those feelings and maybe make me completely unsettled again."
"What if I told you I could help you remember? If I could ease the burden of feeling but give you back your memories, would you? If I could ensure that you knew all you needed to know... that you remembered your past self but without the pain... would you want that?"
Sanria's nod was enough. He couldn't let her change her mind, so before another word could be spoken, Velentham placed his hands on each side of her head. The block he found within her mind was massive, but no match for his abilities. In mere instants he cleared away the darkness and let Sanria feel her memories for only a moment. He moved in, placing his lips to hers, sending calm, joy, and peace with the kiss. Enhancing the memories of himself and their time together until she pulled away.
"Velentham..." she began. "I'm with... Colin..."
"I know. But that can be remedied."
"I remember it all... and I thank you... but I haven't forgotten what happened afterward. Colin... may have been a bit subversive in getting us together... but..."
No. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He had been good, he hadn't forced her to do anything. This was not right. "Sanria... please... don't... I told him I would let you choose... but I didn't anticipate that you would choose him over me."
"Velentham... He's... my husband. The father of my children."
"But... I love you. Everything about you. Your soul, your mind, your body... if you give me the chance I promise you, you'll never want for anything again. You'll never worry about anything. You'll never experience pain. I'd be yours forever, and I could make it so that you could be the same to me."
"I thank you for everything you've done tonight. I... needed to remember all of this so I could say goodbye to it."
"What? Sanria, no..." This couldn't be.
"I can't be that woman again. I... have to go."
"Please - wait..."
"Goodnight Velentham."
Sanria left the room and Velentham felt his heart fall. He was crushed, he was hurt, he was... angry. His eyes flashed silver and his nostrils flared. He stormed from the kitchen and into the garden. He took off, flying upward in the skies, screaming in rage. This would not do. This would not be the way this ended.
Hotel Sanria
Sanria heard the doorbell ring, a deep chime that echoed throughout the cavern. Of course, Colin was immediately at the ready. "Were you expecting someone?"
"No," she replied, only mildly amused at his sense of urgency. Sanria found it interesting how Colin seemed to guard them, he wasn't just sitting with his family - he was protecting them. From what, Sanria did not know.
She got up only after he had been gone for a while, swaddling Leandra and bringing her to the top of the stairs, "Colin? Is everything alright?" She looked down and saw, staring back up at her, a creature of extraordinary beauty. Sanria couldn't figure out why the man made her feel a certain comfort, but she felt that he was good.
He introduced himself as Velentham Arenfeld, and told Sanria she knew him from her planar trip. Immediately, she knew he was the originator of the rose she had given to Gilean, and it was confirmed. Throughout the discussion, she felt the concern mounting from Colin. Sanria knew his looks, knew his body language. He didn't like having this particular visitor - and even more since he was the one that had given her the very rose Colin did not like her having.
The beautiful man, Celestial, had asked them to stay. He was Gilean's cousin and did not want to intrude upon Gilean's reunion with Claire. It took Sanria much convincing, but eventually Colin relented to Velentham's stay. "Alright, but at some point I'd like to return to us to be the only adults in the house."
Colin gave her an adoring smile and went to show Velentham his room. "You're welcome to anything in the house," she called to him. "Food and the like. We have a library too." She wasn't met with a verbal response, but the feeling of longing that remained in the air after he passed by was unmistakable.
"No," she replied, only mildly amused at his sense of urgency. Sanria found it interesting how Colin seemed to guard them, he wasn't just sitting with his family - he was protecting them. From what, Sanria did not know.
She got up only after he had been gone for a while, swaddling Leandra and bringing her to the top of the stairs, "Colin? Is everything alright?" She looked down and saw, staring back up at her, a creature of extraordinary beauty. Sanria couldn't figure out why the man made her feel a certain comfort, but she felt that he was good.
He introduced himself as Velentham Arenfeld, and told Sanria she knew him from her planar trip. Immediately, she knew he was the originator of the rose she had given to Gilean, and it was confirmed. Throughout the discussion, she felt the concern mounting from Colin. Sanria knew his looks, knew his body language. He didn't like having this particular visitor - and even more since he was the one that had given her the very rose Colin did not like her having.
The beautiful man, Celestial, had asked them to stay. He was Gilean's cousin and did not want to intrude upon Gilean's reunion with Claire. It took Sanria much convincing, but eventually Colin relented to Velentham's stay. "Alright, but at some point I'd like to return to us to be the only adults in the house."
Colin gave her an adoring smile and went to show Velentham his room. "You're welcome to anything in the house," she called to him. "Food and the like. We have a library too." She wasn't met with a verbal response, but the feeling of longing that remained in the air after he passed by was unmistakable.
Informing Velentham
Claire walked in on them in the middle of a disagreement and the tension was thick. Velentham stood at the door, Gilean on the couch, and Claire felt her energy begin to wane once more. Gilean didn't want to tell Velentham where Sanria lived. It was more than she could bear, and Claire took matters into her own hands, telling Velentham where he could find the sage.
Velentham had barely closed the door before Claire turned to find Gilean. The priest was in the back of the cottage, standing amidst the roses. "I'm sorry..." Gilean said, turning to face her. "I don't know why he upsets me so much."
'I can't do this, Gilean. You have me so upset right now... I just want to leave.'
"How have I upset you? I didn't try to tell him what to do. I just wasn't going to help him."
'It's one thing for him to be arrogant and haughty, it's completely another for you to be antagonistic. Telling him to watch out for himself because they'll be looking for him... what is wrong with you? You've only succeeded in reminding me what I was headed off in the first place.'
"Well, yes I'm angry at him, but I meant that. As upset as he makes me I don't want to see him dead. I'm not trying to antagonize him. Didn't you see how he kept trying to rile me? Now I won't stand for him trying to influence you. But I didn't mean to do anything to him. I just refused to help him do something I disapprove of."
'You don't think I felt him trying to influence me?'
"Oh, I... I didn't know. I just felt what he was doing and..."
'You felt you had to step in. I noticed.'
Claire felt her frustration mounting and her energy slipping away. Again, she turned to go back to her family, and again Gilean stopped her. "Tell me, what am I to do with him?" he asked with a pleading gaze.
'Nothing!!! Don't you understand that? That's exactly what I'm talking about! He's not your charge, Gilean!'
"You think it's wrong for me to choose not to help him if I disapprove?"
Claire walked back into the house. Things were going downhill fast. She questioned whether her feelings for Gilean were only there because he was gone for so long. 'Maybe you need to go back to the temple where you can take care of people that need it, Gilean.'
"Claire... Claire, I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want us to have our family. I can't go back to being alone. Not after experiencing being with you. I need you, and I need our child. I know I'm not perfect but I can be a better person. Please, help me to do that. Don't give up on me... don't give up on us."
Claire sighed deeply. She leaned on Gilean again, her soul and body drained. One thing she wasn't - she was not a quitter. Velentham was gone. He didn't appear to be coming back. Perhaps there would be peace. She and Gilean could fix the problems, mend, heal, and get back to normal.
Velentham had barely closed the door before Claire turned to find Gilean. The priest was in the back of the cottage, standing amidst the roses. "I'm sorry..." Gilean said, turning to face her. "I don't know why he upsets me so much."
'I can't do this, Gilean. You have me so upset right now... I just want to leave.'
"How have I upset you? I didn't try to tell him what to do. I just wasn't going to help him."
'It's one thing for him to be arrogant and haughty, it's completely another for you to be antagonistic. Telling him to watch out for himself because they'll be looking for him... what is wrong with you? You've only succeeded in reminding me what I was headed off in the first place.'
"Well, yes I'm angry at him, but I meant that. As upset as he makes me I don't want to see him dead. I'm not trying to antagonize him. Didn't you see how he kept trying to rile me? Now I won't stand for him trying to influence you. But I didn't mean to do anything to him. I just refused to help him do something I disapprove of."
'You don't think I felt him trying to influence me?'
"Oh, I... I didn't know. I just felt what he was doing and..."
'You felt you had to step in. I noticed.'
Claire felt her frustration mounting and her energy slipping away. Again, she turned to go back to her family, and again Gilean stopped her. "Tell me, what am I to do with him?" he asked with a pleading gaze.
'Nothing!!! Don't you understand that? That's exactly what I'm talking about! He's not your charge, Gilean!'
"You think it's wrong for me to choose not to help him if I disapprove?"
Claire walked back into the house. Things were going downhill fast. She questioned whether her feelings for Gilean were only there because he was gone for so long. 'Maybe you need to go back to the temple where you can take care of people that need it, Gilean.'
"Claire... Claire, I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want us to have our family. I can't go back to being alone. Not after experiencing being with you. I need you, and I need our child. I know I'm not perfect but I can be a better person. Please, help me to do that. Don't give up on me... don't give up on us."
Claire sighed deeply. She leaned on Gilean again, her soul and body drained. One thing she wasn't - she was not a quitter. Velentham was gone. He didn't appear to be coming back. Perhaps there would be peace. She and Gilean could fix the problems, mend, heal, and get back to normal.
Coming Home
Claire asked Gilean not to come, but she should have known that no force could keep him away. He had traversed the Nine Hells to get back to her - so it really was no surprise to see him appear. "Claire, please. Let's go back home and we can talk."
'I don't want to talk to you right now, Gilean. I want to go to my home and have the time to think about this whole thing.'
"Claire, why won't you talk to me? How can we work through this if you're just going to go away?"
'Because I... I don't know if I want to be with someone who could do what you did. I don't know if I want to go back...'
Claire felt terrible looking at the tired face of Gilean. He was absolutely desperate. "But Claire... oh Claire. I need you. I am the same man. I've been worn so thin, but it's me and I need you. I crossed all that for you. I understand how I've hurt you. And I can understand needing time before everything will be ok. But how can we work through it if we're apart? Claire... I'll do anything. Please."
'What if you have another lapse of judgment? What if sometime down the road you are weary and do something else? Do you... truly even...' Claire trailed off. She couldn't bear to finish the sentence - he had hurt her so deeply.
"Claire, it's still me. You have to know that my intention wasn't..."
'I don't know... you got back here and came home to me and your soul is so... so... all over the place - as if you're trying to hold up part of the world and submerge the other part.'
"It is Claire... the memories of what I've put my family through, and having to deal with my people, and having to fight through hell, and Velentham... It's all so much."
Claire could see the weight that sat on Gilean's shoulders, still, it was hard for her to come to terms with what had happened. She knew, however, that no matter how much she wanted to leave, Gilean would follow, and she couldn't have him come back to her people with her. They would have to work it out.
They appeared back in at the cottage. Claire turned Gilean to her. 'Something has to give - and if I have to step away to let you work this out and make sense of it... I will.'
"No... if anything I need your help. You help to give me perspective."
'Then don't ever - ever - do that again... If you ever hurt someone like that... I promise you... I will go and not look back.'
Gilean held her tightly and Claire felt her strength wane. She said nothing to Gilean, but the child was sapping her more than even she thought it would. She put on the most normal face she could - but something was wrong.
'I don't want to talk to you right now, Gilean. I want to go to my home and have the time to think about this whole thing.'
"Claire, why won't you talk to me? How can we work through this if you're just going to go away?"
'Because I... I don't know if I want to be with someone who could do what you did. I don't know if I want to go back...'
Claire felt terrible looking at the tired face of Gilean. He was absolutely desperate. "But Claire... oh Claire. I need you. I am the same man. I've been worn so thin, but it's me and I need you. I crossed all that for you. I understand how I've hurt you. And I can understand needing time before everything will be ok. But how can we work through it if we're apart? Claire... I'll do anything. Please."
'What if you have another lapse of judgment? What if sometime down the road you are weary and do something else? Do you... truly even...' Claire trailed off. She couldn't bear to finish the sentence - he had hurt her so deeply.
"Claire, it's still me. You have to know that my intention wasn't..."
'I don't know... you got back here and came home to me and your soul is so... so... all over the place - as if you're trying to hold up part of the world and submerge the other part.'
"It is Claire... the memories of what I've put my family through, and having to deal with my people, and having to fight through hell, and Velentham... It's all so much."
Claire could see the weight that sat on Gilean's shoulders, still, it was hard for her to come to terms with what had happened. She knew, however, that no matter how much she wanted to leave, Gilean would follow, and she couldn't have him come back to her people with her. They would have to work it out.
They appeared back in at the cottage. Claire turned Gilean to her. 'Something has to give - and if I have to step away to let you work this out and make sense of it... I will.'
"No... if anything I need your help. You help to give me perspective."
'Then don't ever - ever - do that again... If you ever hurt someone like that... I promise you... I will go and not look back.'
Gilean held her tightly and Claire felt her strength wane. She said nothing to Gilean, but the child was sapping her more than even she thought it would. She put on the most normal face she could - but something was wrong.
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