Showing posts with label Colin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colin. Show all posts

The Unthinkable

Sanria sat at her desk in the castle. Her familiar knot of wood in the top staring back at her.  It had been several days since she'd been to "visit" Claire, her  mind had been  reeling.  She knew Claire's story, she knew Claire had been dominated completely by the man she was with, and could only arrive at one conclusion to help her solve the problem. They'd have to get rid of Ruthivan... permanently.

Killing a being to free another, was that right?  The voices crept into  Sanria's mind.  'Is there not a severe imbalance in that relationship? Is it not your duty to help balance?'  No. Sanria shook her head in  consternation.  She was no killer.  She sighed deeply and dug into her mind for answers.  If  they couldn't kill him, and he could manage to travel the planes (meaning he would most certainly return to collect Claire), what other possibility was there?

A soft  knock on the door revealed Enmach, who  swooped into  the room under her  usual graces.  "Greetings  Sanria.  I apologize that I have not been around as of late."  Sanria waved her hand  dismissively, and then the idea struck her like a thunderbolt from the skies.   "Enmach... have I ever told you of my friend, Claire?" "Only that she was once the lover of your husband."

Sanria  shifted uncomfortably  in her chair, deciding  now was not the time to let Enmach  in on all the facts of her relationship.  She told her  of Claire's life,  current and  past.  Finally, Sanria looked  at Enmach and let out a sigh.  "Is it possible," here she paused, knowing that once  this thought was in the world, there was no taking it back, "that we can alter his memories just as your people altered Colin's?"

Enmach  knitted her  brows and looked to  the desk.  "You realize what you are proposing is kidnapping and forcing someone to our will?" "I know..." Sanria's voice  dropped to a whisper.  "But if she doesn't get help..." "Does she want help?  Did you ask?" "I didn't  have a chance.  Though it  is not difficult to see that she is in dire straits." Enmach sighed heavily.  "I'll talk to Fenlauch."  She looked at Sanria and  Sanria could see the  confusion in the silver eyes.  "You realize what you are suggesting is the same thing that happened to you..." Sanria  looked down  and gave a  singular nod.  "I know," she breathed as a whisper of shame.

Discoveries in Seas of Emotion ( 2 of 2)

The plans were made to leave the next day.  Gilean hadn't wanted Sanria to go with the chance she'd run into Ruthivan, and she had obliged, but changed her mind when Orn chose to come along.  She watched Orn go back up the stairs to pack a bag of his own, and left Gilean and Sandorin to return her pack to the bedroom.  She heard a soft shuffle and turned to see Matinus standing in the doorway.

"Hello  dear one," she said with a smile.  "Something you needed?"  She looked at the boy's face and frowned ever so slightly.  There was something wrong.  "What is it?" she said with a voice of concern.
"My dad is guilty."
"Wh.. what?  What do you mean?" She sat on the bed and patted the space beside her.  "Come in, sit." Matinus entered and sat looking at his lap.  "I don't know what he did,
but he's been feeling guilty about it."

"Well I'm sure it's nothing."

The boy  looked up at her and Sanria could see fear and pain written on his features.  "I don't  want him to mess up and make us leave and make you leave us.  I don't want to lose you as my mom."
"Matinus..." Sanria reached over, putting her arm around his shoulders. "I promise you, no matter what this is, I won't go anywhere.  You're my son now and everyone here is your family." "It's just that my Dad and Colin are angry with each other a lot, and now my dad  did something wrong  and feels guilty.  Like when you're trying not to get in trouble, and I don't know why."
"Well, it's  your dad.  Whatever it is, I'm sure it's nothing as bad as it seems."
"You promise you won't go anywhere or make us leave?"
"Oh, Matinus.  I won't go anywhere.  And  you're staying right here for as long as it takes til you grow up and leave on your own."
"What if I don't want to go when I get older?"

Sanria  chuckled and kissed Matinus on the top of the head.  She felt a deep connection to  the boy, as though he were a miniature Orn all over again.  She  squeezed him lightly.  "Then  you  can live here just like  Orn and Mirin.  Now, stop being worried and go play." 


She  watched the lopsided and shy smile come onto Matinus's face and he walked out.  Then, and  only then, did Sanria's smile fade.  Guilty for what?

Discoveries in Seas of Emotion ( 1 of 2 )

"Mom, you really shouldn't come.  The guy is an asshole."  Leandra was not known for holding back, and Sanria sighed.
"I'd like to see her for myself and possibly..."
"What?"
"Well, I know we haven't exactly talked since... since you left, but-"
"Gods mom, what did you do now.  Or should I say, who?"
"Leandra, that's... nevermind.  I'm back  together with  your father."
"Well that's great!"
"No... hang on..."
"What?"
"I'm with Gilean, too."  Silence.  Then:
"You're married to two guys?"
"Yes."
"Holy hells, mom.  I mean...  what is wrong with you?"
"Leandra, I'm  doing the best I can under the circumstances, so if you
don't mind keeping your demeaning opinion to yourself-"
"Fine.  Fine... I'm... glad you're at least kinda back with Dad."
"Thank you," Sanria telepathed.  "When can I come to visit Claire?"
"Soon. Mr. Bitch takes their kids to visit the other Espers daily. You
need  to come about  noon.  If he finds you there, he's probably going
to be in a mood."
"Thank you, Leandra.  I love you."
"Yeah, I know."

Sanria broke the  connection with  her daughter and sighed.  She still  didn't  know  she had a  brand new half brother, but  that  would be a discussion for  another time.  She got up and packed a few supplies in her pack.  She would go to  Claire,  figure out  how to get her out of her  situation, and bring her  back for Gilean.  It would be as simple as that.  She  had nearly reached the  door when Gilean  appeared from the library.

He guessed immediately where she was going and why, and spent the next moments trying to convince her that it was not what he wanted.  "But," she began, "don't you love Claire more than you love me?  If you could  be with her, wouldn't you?" "I do love Claire.  I do care about what she's going through and I hate  to see it. She doesn't deserve it. But to say I love her more than you?" Gilean shook his head.  "That's not true, Sanria."

Sanria's heart skipped and she reached out, taking both Gilean and her baby son, Sandorin, into an embrace. As strange was it was, she had to admit to herself  that she was  deeply in love with Gilean, and though  it was different than the  deep love she  had for Colin, the truth was that she felt her heart more entwined with the man in her arms now.

She pulled back just as Orn came down the stairs. "Oh, hey guys. You...  going somewhere, Mom?"
"Ah, I don't think so now.  I was just going to go visit Claire and Leandra.  I was thinking of helping Claire if she wanted help."
"Oh.  Well, is there something I can do to help?"

Thinking the Impossible

As Sanria stared at the cottage, a low whistling could be heard. She turned to find Thasmudyan.  She did not have the rush of emotion she used to have.  It was simply like meeting an old friend - albeit one you were embarrassed to inform of your polyandry. Still, they spoke, Sanria noting the distinct absence of any questions about Nioma.  He had truly let go of his daughter. She gave him a tour of the castle, inviting  him to apply to the Keepers, and after a bite to eat, they said their goodbyes.  Sanria checked her mental list.  She could say truthfully that  she was no longer in love  with Thasmudyan, but she hoped that he would be part of the Keepers and remain her friend.

She returned  to the cavern later that evening after finishing a bit of work.  That night she spoke  with Colin, determining that the two men were at odds. Colin spoke about how they should be together, and Sanria  found herself  thinking about the way  Gilean looked at her. She had seen he and Claire together, she saw the concern on his face when she sat  in the living room.  She knew what it looked like when someone was holding back what they felt.  She  certainly thought she had seen it on Gilean's face.

Sanria offered  Gilean the chance to leave, to not feel obligated to stay. The answer was a resounding no. Sanria frowned at the distress on Gilean's face and was  confused.  He said he loved her, wanted to be with her, that she was the mother of his children, and wanted her to want him.  She felt guilty that she didn't want him to leave, but at the same time... at the  same time she knew that somewhere inside of his mind, of his heart... she was his second choice.

The following day she sat at the kitchen table alone. She closed her eyes.  "Leandra, I  know you probably don't want to talk to me, but, I truly need your help."
The flippant acid reply came back, "What do you want, mom?"
"I need you to tell me where I can find Claire."

Turnabout (2 of 2)

Gilean's expression faltered.  "No... you said something..."
"Sanria said she could see it.  Something she saw when you and Claire were together." Colin shrugged dismissively.  "If you don't believe me, why don't you ask Sanria yourself."

Gilean stood staring at Colin for another moment, fighting whether or not to accept what he had just been told.  That is what Sanria had said, something about the way he looked at Claire.  But no, that was over, Claire was gone and Sanria was his family now.  He loved her, the kids loved her.  Claire was gone.

Gilean's shoulders drooped a bit in defeat as he turned to leave the training room.

"Gilean!" Colin called sharply.

Gilean paused and half turned, looking over his shoulder at the decidedly intense glare of the large warrior.

"Sanria better be wrong about you and Claire.  I better not be putting up with all of this if you would rather be with someone else.  And you better not hurt Sanria.  Because if you do..."

Gilean narrowed his eyes with a scowl and silently left the room.

Turnabout (1 of 2)

Gilean entered the upstairs training room to see Colin actively working over one of the dummies in the room with a practice blade.  He took a moment to be sure the door was securely closed behind himself before turning toward the larger man with an accusing glare.  "Just what are you doing?"

Colin barely spared Gilean a glance as he continued in his measured strikes. "I'm training, and I don't recall inviting you.  However, if you'd like to take up a blade and spar..." Colin flashed Gilean a mocking grin.

"You know what I'm talking about.  Sanria."

Colin paused in his strikes and let his arms drop, turning toward Gilean with a scowl of his own.  "No, I don't know what you're talking about.  Last I heard you seem to be getting everything you want so you're going to have to be a little more specific."

Gilean took a few steps toward Colin.  "What did you say to her?  She comes to me and starts talking about helping Claire, bringing her back, letting me be with her!"

"Well, maybe that would just be better.  You could have your own family and I could have mine."

"How dare you suggest that to her," Gilean said, pointing his finger at Colin angrily, "My family is with Sanria.  She's the mother of my children.  Not just the babies, but Matinus and Nioma."

"I suggest you watch yourself,"
Colin retorted as he raised the dulled practice blade back in Gilean's direction.  "Nioma's not even your child.  I was going to raise her before you were even around.  Just one more thing you have tried taking from me."

Gilean stood his ground for a moment, his eyes locked with Colin's and his jaw tense, before finally dropping his finger.  "What did you say to her?"

"Do you want to know the funny thing," Colin scoffed with a small shrug, "I didn't say anything at all.  That was all Sanria."

Deeper Confusion

Sanria had faithfully stayed clear of any intimate contact with Gilean for a week.  He  had healed her fully, consequently, she  felt normal, but there was something amiss with the growing concern she felt coming from Gilean.  He had even asked her more than once if she was ready to begin  trying for another child.  She politely  put off answering, but felt more than a little  pressured.  More to the point, she had felt a bit uneasy  at how Gilean  had come up with any  number of reasons for keeping  her from  spending any time with Colin.  Even during the day, when she might go with  Colin on a  picnic, or something equally alone for the two of them.  Gilean found a way to ensure that his plans came first.

The morning dawned and before Gilean left to bring them breakfast, she found herself  with child... again.  She knew of Gilean's lineage, she knew that he was  also a follower of Lathander, and  that those things paired meant he was interested in all things birth, renewal... children. She knew  he had healed  her, but  things shouldn't have happened that fast... and  when she asked, he assured her that sometimes things just happened that way.  Being very fertile after the  birth of a child was common.  Still... he  knew  she was pregnant  right away, as though he had looked for it, and when he found it, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, he  was open to her  going to spend time with Colin.  Sanria put the thoughts out of her mind. No... he wouldn't have done something like that  on purpose.  Colin, when he found out, was not convinced... at all.  She  wouldn't let him think the thoughts that she held in the back of her mind.  Gilean wouldn't have duped her. That wasn't the way he did things.  He wasn't like that.

She went out of the cavern and took a walk.  She meandered back to the cottage and stood staring at the door.  So many thoughts raced through her  mind.  So much  had happened  here, Gilean's old home.  She ran a hand through  her hair and  stared at the ground for a moment.  Gilean wouldn't have done that... it was impossible.

Avoidance

"Sanria.  The new pregnancy.  I know what you did."

Gilean looked at Colin with momentary alarm before furrowing his own brow in anger.  So Sanria had already told Colin of the new baby they had conceived that morning.  But there was no way Colin could know he had aided the conception with his magic.  After all, Sanria herself didn't know, and Gilean didn't plan on letting that little fact out to anyone.  He leaned in closer to Colin, trying to keep their voices down.  "Colin, I don't know what you are talking about but his is not the time or the place..."
"No Gilean!  She told me herself.  She said you knew that she would be most fertile after having Sandorin.  You knew that and you kept her away from me until you could get her pregnant again herself.  Admit it!"

Gilean alanced around again as a few of the visitors to the temple were starting look in their direction and whisper amongst themselves.  Gilean grabbed Colin's arm and pulled him toward the door of the temple and outside.  The big man allowed himself to go with minimal resistance until they were outside.  He then shoved Gilean away into the outside wall of the temple, briefly knocking the breath from him.

"I know exactly what you're trying to do.  You're trying to take her away from me.  You think you can just keep her pregnant and having your children!?  No, Gilean.  It's not going to work.  I'm not going to just let you have her."

Gilean took short breaths, trying to regain his composure.  He stood up straight and looked back at Colin sternly.  "The way I see it, you don't have a choice, do you.  Maybe I should tell her about your little visit here?  What do you think she would have to say about this?  Hmm?  Do you think she would feel our little arrangement is working?  Maybe she'd just decide she's better off on her own."

Colin glared at Gilean, the big man's muscles twitching.  He looked like he wanted nothing more than to punch Gilean right in the face and Gilean, for one, was glad that he hadn't indulged that desire.  Colin spoke through clenched teeth.  "I'm on to you Gilean.  I'll play this little game because I love Sanria but she'll know eventually, too.  And then, what do YOU think will happen?"
Gilean glared back at Colin until the gladiator spat on the ground and finally turned to stomp off.  Gilean leaned back against the wall and wiped at the sweat which had beaded on his forehead.  Perhaps what he'd done was wrong but things were finally going so well between he and Sanria.  He just did what he had to do to keep their family strong.  It was for the best.  If Sanria ever did find out, he just hoped she could understand that.

Confrontation

Colin stomped through the streets of Westbridge, his face full of deeply furrowed lines of anger.  Sanria may be blind to what he knew Gilean's motivations to be but Colin was going to get the truth.  He wanted to hear it straight from his 'friend's' mouth.

Colin stormed into the Temple of Lathander, scattering some of the small animals that lived there.  He turned to the first priest he saw.  "Where's Gilean?"

The elderly priest lifted a calming hand toward Colin and spoke in a soothing tone.  "My son, you appear quite troubled.  Father Eosos is helping another at the moment but I assure you I can help.  Here, let  me calm your mind first."

The priest reached his hand gently toward Colin's forehead and Colin had to restrain himself from smacking it away.  Instead, he simply grabed the man's wrist with perhaps marginally more strength than was necessary. He looked upon the priest coolly.  "I assure you, you cannot help me.  I need to speak to Gilean.  Immediately."

The priest's eyes widened in alarm and he backed away slowly.  "A-alright then.  No need to be so upset.  I'll tell him you're here."  The older man turned toward the back rooms of the temple, giving a worried look over his shoulder at Colin before disappearing through a doorway.

Colin paced back and forth with his arms folded across his chest while he waited.  It was a few moments befoore Gilean emerged from the back, leading a woman and her small girl.  Gilean gave a stern glance in Colin's direction before turning to the woman with a gentle smile.  "She should be just fine now, but if the fever returns, please bring her back right away."
Gilean patted the little girl on the head and gave a brief farewell before turning and walking over to Colin, the kind smile immediately dropping from his face.  "Colin, what is this?  What are you doing here?  You scared Father Levi, you know that?"

Colin pointed his finger into Gilean's face.  "I know what you did, Gilean. Admit it."

Gilean gave a glance around and pushed Colin's hand down.  "Colin, keep your voice down.  What are you talking about?"

"Sanria.  The new pregnancy.  I know what you did."

Conealing Tensions

This was to be her sixth child and Sanria had lost count in how many pregnancies. Gilean had chosen the name, Sandorin, which Sanria felt perfect.  Her brother had been long dead now. He would have been delighted to have  a little one named for him.  She wondered what he'd think of all this.

They had sped up nature's processes as well, making her pregnancy go much faster than normal. Unlike the times when she'd slept with Thasmudyan, however, this time was thanks to Gilean's magic.

It was a  strange day in that Sanria had the cavern to herself.  Orn was at the castle, Mirin  was off with the bubbly and excited twins, Colin had taken Nioma out to play, and Gilean was off with Matinus - bonding.  She had been through having children before, so the sensation was not new. She felt the contractions and her water break, and knew she had a  little time before  things grew intense.  She didn't want the family rushing back with worry.  She reached out to Enmach.

A mere hour later, she was looking into the eyes of her son. He, too, seemed to  take her in before falling asleep.  He had only cried for a moment - the indignity  of being nude - before going utterly calm. Enmach left congratulations in her wake, and Sanria was left with her son only moments before everyone came back.

Though happiness seemed to be the prevailing sentiment, Sanria could see the sorrow of Colin's face that she'd be spending more time with Gilean and  Sandorin, and the hurt on Gilean's  face that she hadn't called  him to  tend the birth.  Then - something  on both  of their  faces, buried under their joys and kindnesses - worry.

Sandorin

Matinus looked down at the little sleeping baby and scrunched up his face and tilted his head.  Babies weren't exactly his favorites - Reggie and Regina were a little bit different  because they were his niece and nephew - but Sandorin, this was his half-brother.  He could feel a strange calm from the little baby in front of him, like he was a lot older than he was really.

Sandorin opened his eyes just a bit and looked up at Matinus. It was freaky.  He looked down to see Nioma come in and lean her face against the bars of the crib.  "He's little, huh?" she asked.
"Yeah, he'll get bigger though."
"Will we be able to play with him?"
Matinus shrugged.  "Probably you will, but I don't know if
I'm going to play with him."
"Why not?"  Nioma squeezed her face into the bars and danced about on one leg as she looked at her half-brother.
"I'm older than you are."
"So?  Mister Bunny is older than me too, and he still plays with me."
"Mister Bunny is a rabbit, not a boy."
"Mister Bunny is a mister."

Matinus smirked and left the baby behind, walking through Sandorin's bedroom, through Nioma's, and back to his own. He could tell his dad was really excited about the little baby - his baby with Sanria - which made him a little sad. He didn't seem to love him or Nioma as much as he already loved Sandorin.  He could feel his dad worrying, too, like jealously worrying.

Matinus had already talked to Colin about being so afraid he made Sanria tired, but there was something a little wrong and he couldn't really figure it out.  Colin felt afraid and said he thought he was going to lose Sanria to his dad, his dad felt jealous and worried, and Sanria - he just felt this weird confusion.  Then, Nioma, always excitable and strange with how she could see stuff that wasn't visible.  Just the other day she said Sanria's belly was sparkling.  Then Sandorin... the weirdest calm baby Matinus had ever seen.

He walked upstairs and went to Orn and Mirin, but they were busy with Reggie and Regina.  They were busy with them a  lot.  He walked outside and sat by the stream.  There was a strange uneasiness that was floating around.  Something too weighty for a twelve-year-old boy to worry about.

Signals

Matinus kept glancing out of the corner of his eye.  It was strange watching his mom - well, his step-mom - sitting  beside Colin on the grass.  His attention would be pulled when Nioma would find a weird-shaped rock or something equally silly to show him, but Matinus kept looking and feeling.

It was a different love than what he felt when Sanria and his dad were together.  She loved her dad and was protective of him, but the feeling Matinus felt was how when his dad and Sanria were together, their hearts kinda melted into one another.  She adored his dad.  With Colin, though, it was different.  Matinus could feel something more here, something old that wasn't as lovely as what he'd been feeling when his dad and Sanria were together.  He put his finger on it at the same moment Nioma splashed him by dropping a large stone in the stream.  Colin was scared, Sanria knew it.

Matinus wiped the water from his cheek and snapped at Nioma. She looked sad for a moment, then chased after a squirrel. He sat there, feeling more.  Colin was scared of something and it made him want Sanria all to himself.  But, Sanria, mom, didn't feel the same.  Like she knew he was afraid and it made her tired.  Like she was being nice.  Like she loved him less than she loved his dad.

Matinus kept stealing glances and feelings, but for a moment he was happy.  He felt Sanria loved his dad more.  Then they kissed and Matinus had to look away.  It just looked wrong. He was happy, sure, that all the adults were getting along, but he found himself wishing it was just his dad again. Like Sanria belonged to his dad, not to two guys.

He sighed as Nioma came up, waving a muddy stick around.  He shooed her away, then his mom got up and Colin got up and  their time was at an end.  Nioma led the way back through the forest, skipping and singing at the top of her lungs, then Sanria and Colin, then Matinus - watching, feeling, ingesting. He wasn't really sure how to feel.  This whole thing was a little more than confusing.  It was awkward.

Subservient, Obediant, Broken

Claire had  seen Gilean exactly twice.  The first time, he seemed lost, lonely in some strange way. That first  time he questioned her  about her relationship with  Ruthivan.  She'd  been  guarded. It was none of his  business that her husband was  controlling and obsessed. The second time she came after mirin told her about the three-way marriage. She came to look at his face because she couldn't fathom  him being happy.  He was defensive.  This time, it was  none of her business that he wanted Sanria all to himself but couldn't manage to fight  off Colin.  Exactly twice.  And Ruthivan had been  watching.

She came  home after  her second  visit to Gilean and stayed  out of sight.  She quietly took stock  of her  life: four children with Ruthivan, a torn out  uterus for birth  control (Ruthivan  felt it their sole  duty to repopulate the  entire realms to help the esper population rebound), a marriage she loathed, a bond to which she was a slave. She kept memories of Gilean close at hand- happy he'd found  happiness, sad  it wasn't  with  her.  She pulled herself out of the thought.  That time had long passed.

At last, she  crept into  the bedroom and slipped into bed - hoping Ruthivan had gone to sleep- but the  speed with  which he turned  to face her let  Claire know he'd been waiting. His eyes were dark rubies glittering hard. His face was pinched with anger and his voice, even his breath, trembled in rage.  'Where were you today?'

There  was no  love here.  Before, he'd  tried at least to teach her to love him. He let her decide on her own whether to stay or go.  A very magnanimous gesture... only the already had a bond that linked them  and children who needed them.  She'd stayed. Slowly, though, his old self had returned. She belonged to him- property. She hadn't noticed how bad things were until they  were  so far gone she was beyond hope or help. She was neck deep in quicksand and still sinking.  Now?  She looked at the  contorted face and as dispassionately as you please, lied.  'I went to see Mirin and Matinus.'

Settling into Understanding

Understandably, the tension  in the cavern was thick in the air.  Sanria knew things wouldn't be perfect and had anticipated much of the jealousy and slight rankling which pervaded the couple's... no... triple's  home. She knew within only a few days that the  frustration  level was on it's way to terminal, and so  she called a meeting.  The three of them sat at the kitchen table - she and Colin on one side, Gilean on the other.

It had been rather quickly decided that neither man wanted the affection to stop, but couldn't seem to handle seeing the other the object of that affection.  As the ironed out that wrinkle, Orn, in search of milk, came into the kitchen.  Sanria's heart sank at the avoidance, Orn deftly kept his eyes averted, back turned.  "Orn, do we make you uncomfortable?" she asked.
"It's just... weird," he replied. And weird it was. How was this to ever  work if her own son couldn't handle it? 

Sanria  stared down at the table, barely  noting Orn coming to her side.
"Oh Mom, hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"You are honest... that is a positive thing."
"No, I mean, I know things have been tough for you... for all of you.  I'm happy you guys are happy, you know. Really, that's all I want, is to  see you happy, Mom."  The words were a light salve to the wound.
"Thank you, Orn."  And she was rewarded with an embrace.
"I love you Mom, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry about being honest, Orn. What feelings I feel because of  it are my own."

Orn left and as though a spell had been cast, Colin relented.  They made arrangements that were  impossible only moments before - working out the arrival  of the new baby with  ease.  Even when Gilean admitted his lack of prior parenting, Colin looked on him with understanding and compassion. Mirin  arrived and in short  order made apologies  to her father for her own unkindnesses.  Sanria would never have expected such a turning point in the midst of what started as potential tinderbox.

The final point, the spot  where Sanria knew they were going to be okay, was when Colin rose, and left the  room to let her talk to Gilean alone. They hadn't wanted one another alone with her since the Eosos side moved in.  And  now... Sanria's heart  warmed.  Certainly, things  would still be difficult from time to time... but progress had come  faster than she had anticipated, and everyone was settling into understanding.

Stuck in the Middle with Two

In the intervening time that followed the announcements to the children, young and  adult, that their parents were  going to  be living together, Sanria  split her time between  Colin and Gilean.  Neither had questions about the other, but there  always seemed just a hint of competitiveness in Colin, and  overflowing care from Gilean; each  seemed to  be seeking his  place in this  strange new relationship.  They hadn't even moved in together.

Already Sanria was exhausted.  They  were vastly  different from one another, and she had to  adapt daily to their  particular  nuances and behaviors.  In  a way, it was going to be nice to  have everyone under the same roof.  They would all be  in proximity much of the time, making the smattering of  desperation at full days apart vanish.  But how would the small gestures of affection be handled between two men who just recently were ready  to fight?  If she hugged Colin in front of Gilean, or kissed Gilean on the cheek with Colin  nearby... did she just give no affection at all and leave both wondering if they'd done something wrong?

There was no right answer.  Not yet. And what about her time to herself? Her work  in the castle that she sometimes  found herself doing at home, where would  that now fall?  She'd  tried to have a  day to herself, but Gilean  balked.  He  didn't want to be  alone on what was supposed to be their time.  She gave in easily and spent her time as agreed.

Though many may have thought the situation ideal, Sanria was finding herself worried, anxious, and concerned.  Such an  arrangement was not just sex and love - it was care and  patience and effort.  More effort by far than  just a single  marriage.  It  was as if  Sanria could see into the future, and had revealed before her the fact that her time was no longer just her own, nor was  her body, nor her  feelings.  She was struck with the realization that she had bitten off far more than she could chew.

Weird but Cool

Matinus sat in his room and looked over his books. He had to decide which ones to take, which ones would fit into his suitcase and still leave room for clothes. Not that he had many anyway. He was excited anyway and not because his family was moving to the place where Orn lived, but because he could see, for the first time on his parents face, that they really loved each other.

It was weird for him, feeling things other people felt. He didn't know he could do it, he didn't know why, but the longer he sat with someone, if he looked at them, he could feel some of what they felt. Today, while Sanria and Gilean sat in front of him, telling him that they were going to be halfway married to Colin (a fact that made him ask Gilean if he was marrying Colin - an emphatic no there - whew), all of a sudden, they weren't nervous anymore. All of a sudden, they were in love... like, really in love.

He watched them look at each other and smile and hold hands and felt it like a piece of fabric on his skin- whisper thin and light, then wrapping around him warmly. They said they loved each other before. He knew they kinda meant it, but this was different. Matinus didn't know what changed, or even why, but this time it was real.

He paused in his packing to sigh as Nioma came into his room for the seventeenth time to say they were moving. 'I know, Nioma. Go pack.' It was a little tiring, feeling  her crazy energy each time she came tornadoing into his  room. She left and Matinus could think again, and his  smile came back unbidden.  He didn't know what it would mean to have a dad, a kinda dad, Orn as his real big brother right there for him to talk to any time he wanted, Mirin there whenever he wanted to be around her, to be an uncle, to be an adventurer in the woods, by a water fall, by a stream, in a cavern... but he did know that his family was going to be together... and that was the best part of the whole thing.

All the Pretty Poly's in a Row (2/2)

"Sanria, I don't think this is a joking matter," Gilean said.

For the first time in a while, both men looked to be in agreement.  It motivated Sanria even more to keep up the ruse.  The deflation of tension was a blessed relief. 
"There is no other way out of this without one of you harming the other more than has already been done with your words and actions. So, you want to force my hand, you've done it. This is what we  will do.  I've tried it the way both of you have begged me to, and it's not working."
"You are serious?" Gilean asked in a halting voice.
"This... will work.  You two will have to become friends once more and learn to trust one another again."  She walked to the  fountain in the foyer and  sat on its edge.  "Please, by all means, if you know of another way that the two  of you can live with and not slay one another, offer it up.  Either that, or someone backs down and lets go of  their own will, not by force."

Honestly, Sanria  sat with  all  intention of this  being the breaking point. This would be what solved the problem because one of them would certainly back down and let go.  The men seemed perplexed, questioning her, trying to push her from the absolute center in which she'd placed herself.  She  wasn't about  to budge.  She'd  tried  choosing, no one listened. Now, the choice was theirs. And if they didn't choose, she'd leave them both.

Then, Gilean spoke.  "I'll accept this... proposition of us all living together."  Sanria barely caught her mouth from falling open. That was not the answer she'd anticipated.  Not at all.  Then Colin's quiet: "I  can't lose you... if this is what it takes..."

"Are you - listen to the two of you! Neither will back down and you're  willing to... to  agree to..."  She couldn't even bring herself to say the  words.  She'd never been a Sunite, but this was  everything she'd heard stories of from  Kaliadra and seen in the temple of  Sune by the Holy Grove. 
"I can't lose you, Sanria," Colin said.

"I won't let him tear our family apart," Gilean said.

She tried  backing out of  what she'd proposed, after all, Sanria reasoned, this  wasn't what she'd truly meant for them to choose.  No man in his right mind would choose such a thing. But when she saw just how serious  each was, just how hurt they were by the thought  of being alone, Sanria  closed her eyes and shook her head.  How Kaliadra's goddess had  crept into her life, Sanria  didn't know.  But polyamory sat there, grinning at  Sanria with a wink.  The  bottom line was... she'd never actually officially left EITHER of them.  A minor oversight that now left  her realizing that the druids never bothered to ask when she married Gilean.  This... was going to be a whole new experience for...Mrs. Stone-Eosos. Sanria shook her head and sighed. What the hell, Why not?

All the Pretty Poly's in a Row (1/2)

Never.  That was the answer  to Sanria's question: Did you ever expect this  to happen?  She had gone with Gilean as  he stormed  through the Grove, down  the roads, and to the cavern; pleading the whole way that he stop and work with her to determine a better way.  Instead, he veritably dragged her along, repeating the same refrain, "No, this has to stop.  I will make him stop."

They stood there, Orn and Mirin both looking too worried to leave them to their own devices, and only reluctantly doing so. And it was as she had anticipated - Gilean and Colin standing toe to toe - the gladiator and the priest.  "Sanria's not leaving Colin and you need to stop this  immediately!"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You can't bully Sanria into leaving. She is my wife, we  have a family, we have a child."

It was already spiraling, and Sanria had been around Colin long enough to know what the tensing jaw meant. She also had been around Gilean for enough time  to understand what  the flash of anger in his eyes meant.
"Please," she said. "None of us need to do this... there has to be an- other answer than... this."
"Exactly, Sanria.  Gilean just needs to accept your decision and leave  this house."

"She's only making that decision because you have forced her into it by  not leaving her alone. Now you WILL leave her alone.  Do you hear me?"
"Is that so," Colin said, tilting his head.  "...or what?"

Sanria's stomach lurched.  She had to do something, and quickly. There was no way  to tell whether or not Gilean would  win by magic, hurting or killing Colin, or  Colin would win  by beating Gilean with physical strength  alone.  How things had come to this  point, she didn't quite understand, but here they were, and she had to do something.

She stepped between the two of them and asked each what he could do if she chose them.  Neither of the bullheaded men was prepared to let go. "Fine.  Then I choose both of you," she said simply, and walked to the side to stare at both of the dumbfounded men.  She didn't mean it, not really, but  the expressions on  both of their faces let her know that she had succeeded where her pleading had not. "We can all move in here,  together.  There's plenty of room in the cavern. I will divide my time  evenly between  the two of you.  Saturday, or  Sunday if you prefer, I  will alternate."

She pulled her bluff with righteousness and every tone of a leader and businessperson.  She held her  head high as she  spoke the words, even while her heart was racing.  "You can't be serious..." Colin said. "In this way,  we will  have peace and harmony  and everyone will have what they want."

Swallowing the Flood

Sanria had gone to the cottage and begun putting her belongings into a  pack.  She tried to pack as he followed her around the room, reminding her of their  vows, their  family, and the fact  they were learning to love one another in the midst of all of it.  He halted her packing and took her  shoulders in his hands, vehemently decrying Colin.  He laid every emotion bare, including rage toward Colin.  He, above all, would not let Sanria leave.

Through the night, Gilean  kept a sleeping vigil, his arm protectively around  Sanria.  When she woke the following morning, her bag had been unpacked and everything put back in  the places from which they'd been taken.  Gilean wouldn't even let her propose talking to Colin or going anywhere near him.  When that night fell, Sanria was again in Gilean's vigilant embrace.

She stared  into the darkness, frowning.  Gilean  said he would be the one talking to Colin, and he was desperate.  When Sanria asked what he was going  to do, the chilling reply  through gritted teeth was, "That depends on Colin.  I'll  do whatever I have to to keep this family together."

Sanria's greatest  fear now was that  one of the  two men would end up dead or very wounded.  It would be her fault.  It was her fault.  From the moment she took Enmach's advice to give up on Colin, to the moment she married Gilean, to the moment Colin became himself again and began to put  the unyielding  pressure on  her to return,  to now... where a  proclaimed pacifist was ready to do battle.

She moved  and Gilean's  arm tightened reflexively.  From his sleep he  shook his head.  Tomorrow... there  would be  eyes on her.  They would ask her  what she  wanted.  At least she presumed they would ask.  The unfortunate thing was that "peace" was  an answer neither would likely accept.

Releasing the Dam

Bad didn't adequately describe the situation Sanria now found herself in. Bad was  before - moments  before - Colin simply trying to remind her of  his love for her, trying to get her back. Bad had morphed into something akin  to unbearable, uncomfortable, and blood-draining.  Colin  had  now figured out Kaliadra's ruse, and because he was in such close proximity, made no qualms about coming to talk. Sanria had hoped it would be to say goodbye, or  at the very  least, give her space to breathe.  Instead, it turned into her  raising her  voice, growing  increasingly flustered and impatient. 

She had  said all she could say.  She reminded him of Gilean's feelings, of Matinus, of Nioma, of  her unborn.  She reminded him of how she loved  them and how  going back to him would break that asunder.  It would tear apart what little she had. Then: "I don't know how to let you go, Sanria."
"Can you?  Eventually?  Given time?"
"I can't.  I don't want to."

From this answer, Sanria learned that it was never truly the black makou that drove  Colin to madness when it came to her.  It was his own heart. Knowing everything -all the ugliness that her leaving Gilean would cause, the pain  for the children, the  pain for  Gilean - Colin  had given his  honest admission.  He wanted her in his life  and though he was the most family oriented man she'd ever met - he was willing to break a family to get his own back.  To get her back.

The drive left her and Sanria lost the will to fight. She knew him, knew the  relentless determination, knew  Colin wouldn't stop.  She agreed to leave  Gilean, to rip apart  what little they had built  while Colin had forgotten everything.  It didn't make her happy.  It wasn't a conclusion that brought  her joy.  After  Colin left, she wretched into a plant pot and sat sobbing on the floor.

She had wanted at last to do something right. She had tried hard to make things  work between  herself and Gilean, and  just when she had set her course, it was pulled away.  The guilt was excruciating, but  she'd have to bear it.  Or so  she thought.  She had assumed that the mild-mannered pacifist she'd married would  accept defeat and let go easily.  That is, however, when unbearable, uncomfortable, and blood-draining  dipped even lower than she thought it could.