The salts went into her nose so sharply Claire sat bolt upright. She hastily looked about the room and saw her father sitting on the edge of the bed at her side. 'Father...' she exhaled, and threw her arms around him. He did not greet her as warmly, and Claire knew something was going on. She saw Ruthivan in a dressing robe, looking out the window.
'Claire,' her father said, taking her hands into his own. 'Ruthivan has reached out to me and asked me to speak with you. From all he has said, things here sound desperate.'
'I... don't want to be here anymore, father.'
'And where do you wish to be?'
'Anywhere else.'
'Is your life here so terrible that you wish to leave your mate and your children?'
'I never wanted him as my mate. He pushed me into this.'
'Because I love you!' Ruthivan said, turning, but Eladrim held up a hand for silence.
'My dear Claire,' her father said, 'I know you did not go seeking Ruthivan, but he has been with you for more than three hundred years. He has been by your side, helping you run away even when you were asked to stay at home. When will you stop running?'
'Father...' Claire exhaled and looked at the blue eyes that had been so kind. She saw in them weariness. 'I...'
'At some point you must realize that life has given you a task. You have children here, and though they were granted through nefarious means, they are here nonetheless. Though this Epser,' and here Eladrim gestured to Ruthivan, 'has done quite trivial things, I do know that he is desperate to have you love him, and if you did try, he would drop heaven and hell for you.'
Ruthivan rounded the bed and took one of Claire's hands in his own. He knelt on the floor and looked up at her. She'd never seen such naked concern, care, worry... desperation. 'Claire,' he said, and she saw the face that had helped her so many times before. His eyes were tearing. 'I would rip this world asunder for you. None of this was ever meant to hurt you. Ever.'
'And I am to forget all you did to ruin my life?'
His head was heavy against her hand as he pressed his forehead to it. 'I was trying to make your life better!' he breathed. 'There were forces at work beyond just Ruthivan, Claire. Your mother wanted this union as well. I, too, for a time, had hoped you would settle your wanderings and be with Ruthivan. We had chosen him for you long before now. The truth is,' her father sighed, 'no matter how it came to be, this is the outcome we had all desired.'
'Except for me,' Claire whispered. 'My dear,' her father said, resting a hand on her leg with a squeeze, 'If you did not have wanderlust, you would be happy. There would be pride in yourself and the fine family you now have.'
'But he treats me like cattle, father.'
Eladrim sighed deeply and looked to Ruthivan, then back to Claire. 'Ruthivan, do you mistreat my daughter.' Ruthivan finally released her hand and stood. 'I only try to keep her in line. I have never struck her.'
'You do not have to hit me to hurt me.'
'Claire,' Eladrim said, regaining her attention. 'This was your intended. You are with your intended.'
'But I don't want to be, father.'
'But you are, and if you leave him, you will break apart a family. You will leave children motherless and our people cannot withstand such a thing. Claire, at some point you must stop thinking of yourself and realize you have responsibilities. You have a duty to your family and your people. If you fill yourself with desires of the outside world, ours are the people that suffer. Please, understand.'
Claire tilted her head back and closed her eyes, then let her head fall forward, bowed beneath the pressure of the conformity pushing at her from all sides. 'Father... I don't love him.'
'Perhaps you can learn that in time, dear one.'
'I don't want to learn, I want to be free.'
'None of us are free, Claire. And until our people are back from the brink, that will never change. Do you understand?' Claire kept her eyes closed and meekly gave a nod.
