Sanria walked into the cavern and closed the door behind her. The familiar smell of home surrounded her, the sound of the fountain, the shafts of sunlight that magically shown down from the ceiling. She looked down to the fountain as though to steady herself and called loudly, "Colin!" From the corner of her eye she saw him appear from the dining room and rush to her, clutching her to him in a hug. She returned it with a mere tenth of the enthusiasm. Any other person would have been delighted to have gotten home, but for Sanria it was all the more of a test- ament to the fact that she was once again back in her cage. That, and any other normal person would have been returning to love - the one thing in the relation- ship that seemed to elude Sanria.
They walked in the kitchen and sitting in a wooden high chair was a baby that wasn't quite as small as he had been when she'd left. Orn already looked the part of a one-year-old, his blonde hair sticking up even more since it had grown. He kicked his legs and bounced in his chair at the sight of his mother, warming San- ria's heart. The picked the boy up and held him to her and the tears came. Tears for missing him, not wanting to come home, for losing yet another child. That - she still had to tell Colin, and with no other way, she stared down at Orn's rosy cheeks as she said, "The other child is no more."
Sanria could hear Colin expel a rush of air. "I'm sorry. This had to happen again..." he whispered.
"Well, it is done," she said quietly. "It cannot be changed." It would just have to be a pain she learned to deal with like all the rest. A task to be managed.
"How were things here?"
"Difficult. With you gone I found it hard to control my emotions at times. Orn helped me though." Of course Sanria knew that Colin had trouble any time she wasn't around. But it did not end there. "There's something else. Arlenia stayed around. She came to visit me, and, well... We were intimate." The revelation tripped Sanria up for a moment, but then another, "The first time I did not intend... she wouldn't stop... and I lost control of myself..."
"There was more than once..." she said in an exhale.
"Sanria, she... she's pregnant. From that first time."
If Sanria could have been smothered under the weight of emotion, it would have happened then. She had not at all expected how bitter the news would make her feel. She had wanted Colin and Arlenia to get together at one time, but she hadn't expected that the girl from the Dark Continent would come to her home while she was absent and end up bedding Colin. "Well..." she began quietly, "I suppose that settles that... I can't blame you, I've not really been a wife to you."
"I never meant for it to happen. I swear Sanria."
"You will have your family, Colin... but it won't be with me. I'm certain she will be very good to you."
"All I wanted was to have your family... for us all to be happy," Colin said through tears. "But you weren't... were you? I couldn't make you happy."
"No... you couldn't..."
"I wish I could.... I so wish I could."
She watched Colin, her own self struggling with how dejected she felt. She hadn't wanted to be with Colin, but she hadn't wanted to feel as worthless as she felt now, staring across the table at him crying. "This isn't what it was supposed to be," Colin said angrily. "It was supposed to be us, our family! Not her, not this!"
"Did you ever think it wasn't?" Sanria asked quietly.
"How long could you have dealt with my unhappiness? Would you have even done this if I were happy? I think you knew, deep inside, you knew."
"I don't know. No. It would have never happened. It should have never happened. It's supposed to be us. US!"
Colin slammed his fist down onto the table and immediately Sanria's thoughts went to Orn. "Colin... don't frighten Orn." Colin rose from the table, sending the chair clattering to the floor. Sanria immediately lifted the startled boy into her arms and watched as Colin knocked into the table as he charged from the room.
