The light knocking on the door sent a shock through Sanria. It wasn't that she hadn't anticipated Colin returning, but that she knew what she was going to do once he had. She had stared at the book on the same page for the past hour, all while Colin and Thasmudyan transported Arlenia's body back to the Dark Continent. The image of Colin coated in the woman's blood was what she kept seeing in her mind, as well as the savage state her body had lain. "I was hoping we could talk," Colin began.
"About what, Colin? You killing a sick woman while Thasmudyan was there? You not listening to me at all? You not working to overcome this thing in you?" The emotions within her flooded forth with anger coming unexpectedly.
"Not working to overcome this? Wha... what do you mean?"
"For the love of the Gods, you've never bothered to work on that black makou in you. You've been avoiding anything that upsets you and when it does, you just let loose!"
"Sanria. I've been doing my best. I don't even know how I'm supposed to 'work' on it. Place my family in danger to see how I react? Sanria. She killed one child. She tried to kill Orn right there in front of us. If it weren't for Thasmudyan he would have died."
"Precisely why you shouldn't have killed her. You cut - off - her - head and ran her through!! What in the world is wrong with you?"
"I have something inside of me that shouldn't be there... you know exactly what's wrong with me," Colin stated quietly.
The argument continued, growing heated as Sanria grew more firm in her con- viction. Arlenia's headless body came to the fore again and again, Colin coated in her blood. And more than anything, the fact he could have chosen not to come. He could have chosen to stay home and let Sanria and Thasmud- yan save Orn. He could have chosen.
"I killed her," Colin began, "because she slit our son's throat right there in front of me and I couldn't hold it back any longer."
"I failed that woman because I couldn't stop you. She needed help. Not death."
"Failed her?" Colin asked. "What duty did you have to her? She had help Sanria. She had Banion. Despite that help she chose this."
"And you chose what you did. As I have to choose. I can't do this any more."
Sanria took off her wedding band and tossed it onto the bed beside Colin. She felt her soul crumbling inside. She and Colin had been so good togeth- er for the past couple of years. Here, again, she was ending yet another relationship - and this one in particular, yet again. "Sanria, what are you doing?"
"When you can't even listen to me... I can't prevent you from anything. And if I can't help you, all I can do is watch you destroy yourself and others when you get angry. I'm sorry... but consider us over, Colin."
"What...? Sanria. How can you say that?"
"You don't have to move out since the children are here, but you can't stay with me in this room anymore. You can stay in the guest rooms. I don't want... to see you..."
"So... what... you're choosing that madwoman over me?" Colin asked.
"No, Colin. I'm choosing life over death."
"You said yourself, she needed help. But, you're turning your back on me?"
"I tried. But this is a line... I can't cross with you. This is not okay. I'm sorry we've come to this, but it's the only thing I know to do now."
At the sound of the door closing, Sanria let the tears flow unbidden. She had become accustomed to soothing Colin when he was upset, and the look on his face was more than she could handle. Still, she stood up for what she believed. Part of her felt good for it. The other part felt as if the earth had come to life and swallowed her whole.
