Sanria sat in her office and let out a long exhale. The Rilmani had been very gracious to put her up in such a nice place. All her books were here, as were some of theirs. New things to read, new agendas to discuss, but this day found her pensive. Her days had been spent here within the halls of the newly formed Keepers of Balance. She had conducted interviews and met wonderful new people. The troubles that clouded her thoughts were not here. They were at home.
In the span of a mere couple of weeks, Sanria had watched Thasmudyan attempt to heal Colin and nearly kill him. Consequently, in giving Colin CPR, she had lost the baby she was carrying. When Colin woke from his coma, he was devasta- ted, but not so much as when he found out she had gotten back together with Thasmudyan. Then... Thasmudyan had disappeared again. Without him there to anchor her decisions, Colin had grown intense in his pressure. It was as if a desperation had settled over him, and he had no plans in letting go.
Sanria had finally told Colin of her new venture with the Keepers of Balance, and it immediately sent him into waves of panic. "It's too much," and "Don't you think you should be here with your family?" and "You need to balance things here." She had anticipated such resistance, just not with the intensity that Colin had shown. She discussed the possibility of moving out, staying at the castle and sharing the custody of their children in that way, but the bristling of desperation she saw come over Colin's face stalled her from acting on it.
Now, Sanria sat in her office, letting out another sigh. This place was the only freedom she had to be herself, to devote some time to study, without the shadow of Colin following her. Though she told him she wasn't a prisoner in her home, it wasn't the truth.
Sanria got up and walked to her bookshelf, selecting "The Outlands: A retrospective," and returned to her desk. She opened it and began to read, putting a hand on her stomach. For, through being healed by Thasmudyan, Leandra misplacing her Pennyroyal tea, and pressured by Colin, things were almost back to where they had begun. If she didn't do something soon, Sanria also knew that she would be back there as well. She was trying to stick to her principles, but the pressure was growing too much to bear, and Sanria was beginning to cave.
