The sensation was most like falling, or perhaps it was like being punched in the gut and needing to vomit, or perhaps it was like nothing. Yes. If nothing had a feeling, it would be this. A void. But then again... no. Whatever it was, it was in Sanria as she opened her door and watched Maya walk in. The words came back to her in a roar, a distant conversation:
"You asked why I keep showing up in your life," Thasmudyan said, "Don't
you think that maybe, being with you was the happiest moment in my lives,
and that all I'm hoping for is another chance to have something like that
again?"
"What if Maya comes looking for you?" she asked.
"I'll deal with that if it happens. She hasn't been, though."
"If you want to be with her... if she does, I won't stop you. I've done
my fair share of... others."
"Fair enough. Still, I don't see myself choosing her if I could have you
instead."
Sanria felt her knees go weak. This was not supposed to happen. Not when she had just decided. Not when she had just told Colin that when Thasmudyan came back, she was going to be with him. No. Not this. Not now.
"So it is the right residence then. Evening to you Sanria," Maya said. No, no, this wasn't supposed to be. How did she know anything was going on? And then Sanria's questions were answered as her daughter hopped down the stairs calling out a hello. No.
"I... I see you've met my daughter, somehow. Colin... this is Maya. Maya, this is Colin, Leandra's father."
"The husband I presume," and the words seemed a slap in Sanria's face.
"No... not... exactly," Sanria said, ignored.
"I have heard your name before," Colin said.
"I'm an acquaintance of your wife's," another slap.
"We're, separated... actually,"
"Such a shame, true love really is something rare to be treasured. I'm sure you'll both find it some day," and Maya rested her eyes on Sanria.
This was not supposed to be happening. Leandra excused herself and ran back up the stairs, and Maya launched into a discussion - one to which Sanria found no choice but to sit down for. Leandra hated her, and was miserable, and needed to know the truth about Brin and Visha and- where had this come from? "Driven by a series of hates and hurts that filtered into the wrong hands will destroy your family," Maya said.
"Please, listen. There are no lies here. She knows her father and I love her, she knows that I'm not... exactly with her father. As far as Brin goes, she had issues within her that Leandra couldn't hope to compete with."
"In a world where so many children prepare to come to breathe.... should we not offer them a future worth living? Your daughter gives me hope towards my own, please do not misplace my intentions."
"...your own?"
"You didn't know? Oh of course not, it has been so long since that day you introduced us. I'm with child."
"With... wait... whose child?"
"Thasmudyan's of course."
Yes. Like falling and being punched and needing to vomit. Like cold that curls up at your feet, winding about them, nestling like a viper. Sanria felt herself turn away, blanching at the expression on Colin's face, the one he was trying to keep her from seeing. She had told Thasmudyan before that she was afraid this reality was permanent for her. Though he gave his assurances it was not... Sanria had merely to turn around to look on the face of the truth.
