"And so he asked you?" Enmach said, her expression patient as she paced the small section of the library where Sanria had holed herself up. Sanria sat in the chair, her feet tucked beneath her, a closed book on her lap. This wasn't what she had in mind when telling Enmach the news, the silver skinned companion hounding her for answers. Sanria felt as though she were reporting to her mother.
"Yes. He did ask me."
"Sanria, I have to advise against this. I truly do." Emach finally sat down, giving Sanria the chance to rest her eyes on a still being.
"What am I supposed to do, Enmach? Why wait? What am I waiting for?"
"Time and distance."
"I don't want distance."
"I mean between you and Colin and you and Thasmudyan and, have you even given yourself time since you left Ror?"
"No..."
"Precisely. You can't possibly take on a commitment like this and expect to use it to hide."
"I'm not hiding!"
The outburst drew a quick glance from Melanie Moles, the librarian, who gave a scathing shush and vanished once again in the stacks. "I'm not hiding," Sanria repeated in a harsh whisper. "I'm moving on. I'm making a choice and sticking with it. I'm choosing a family for Nioma and Matinus, one with a father and a mother and a house, and maybe even a dog."
"Sanria. Nioma has no need for a dog, and she is just fine here with every- one that has a hand in caring for her. You know that. I know not this other child you speak of, but I'm certain his father will do what is best for him."
"I've already said yes," Sanria said plainly.
"Then tell him no, tell him to wait, I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, what if one of the others comes back and you do something... ah, foolish?"
"I've already told Thasmudyan I am choosing Gilean, I've already told Colin, and Ror... well... I've..."
"Not spoken to him even though he's sent that letter about Westbridge."
"Vorcet or Kineada can speak with him regarding a school."
"Hiding."
Sanria stood up, gripping the book, 'Medicinal Chemistry,' at her side. "I am not hiding. I'm choosing."
"Choosing to be foolish and do something you know you're going to regret."
"I'm not going to regret anything."
"You certainly are defensive for not regretting anything. Normally when you are this wound up, you've already done something wrong." Enmach avoided looking at Sanria, which infuriated Sanria all the more- but the point was made.
"Would you let this go if I talked to Ror? If I told him my plans?"
"I just think that it may be best for you to take time away from choosing. You've already done a lot of choosing and perhaps it's time for a moment of rest and reflection."
"I can't."
"Can't what?"
Sanria sat back in her chair and looked at Enmach with a frown. "Can't sit still. Can't rest and reflect. I hate myself when I reflect on the things that I've done and the other choices I've made. Gilean makes me feel like- there's something good about me, even with the screw-ups I've had."
"I think the other men in your life have forgiven you, after all, they're still around. One of them can't even remember you and he is trying to stay in your good graces. Are you so foolish you can't see that?"
"I just don't see what time is going to do, Enmach."
"Time will reveal the truth, and the truth will show you balance. When you find balance, you'll find happiness. But if you try to thread the needle with a whole spool, you'll find it won't fit. Patience, trust, and time."
"Sometimes you make me so mad, Enmach, with all your..."
"I know," the silvery woman replied with a smile. "But when have I been wrong?"
