Nagging thoughts

Colin had a contented smile on his face as he sat at the edge of the water, looking out across the still water of the lake behind their house. "Correction," he told himself, "Emalia's house." Well, that was true, but he had living here with her for several months. And that was part of what gave him his smile.

He felt he practically had it all. He was now part of a clan, living with the beautiful woman he loved, and they were going to have a child. Little Brin, growing inside Emalia. They were going to have a daughter and that would most certainly bring them closer.

Yet his smile waned. He just couldn't shake that little nagging voice in the back of his mind, telling him "But she still doesn't love you." It was true. Colin knew it, she had told him so herself. But she was trying. That was the important part. He just had to be understanding, to be here for her. Sooner or later she would come to love him as he did her. "Yes, but how much later?" his mind wondered, "And in the meantime what exactly is she really doing when she spends that time alone?"

More and more often he found himself drawn to just that thought. "Had she found someone else? Even if she hadn't, how long before she might?" Colin's eyes fell to the rocky beach he sat upon, his smile now replaced with a frown. Why couldn't he shake these thoughts? "But after all, aren't they valid questions? Really, why would she have suggested breaking their engagement anyway?"

Colin gave a frustrated sigh and shook his head to try and clear his funk. Why dwell on these things. After all, it's not like he was going to confront Emalia about them. It would only serve to distance her from him and that was the last thing he wanted. He just had to fight these insecurities by doing everything he could for her. Eventually she would grow to love him, she just had to.

"Sure, you just keep telling yourself that."