Arrangements for Living and Life

Sanria walked out into the herb garden, smiling as she caught sight of Orn and Colin sitting on a blanket. Orn was growing so quickly it seemed. He sat up on his own attempting to eat the grass as best he knew how. The boy was so innocent to everything going on around him. She finally sat down on one of the flagstones and looked to Colin. "I was thinking I could talk to Arlenia and maybe get her to agree to letting you come around to see your child."

"Why do you feel you need to do that?" Colin asked with a small frown.

"Because you aren't."

"I did Sanria," Colin said. "You know I don't take fatherhood lightly. I talked to her, let her know I wanted to be a part of this child's life. She didn't want that. And, I think it would be harder on her if I were."

It wasn't much of a surprise that Colin disagreed with Sanria getting involved, but still she felt that something had to be done. The current arrangement was certainly causing her even more confusion than she had before. "Colin... if it were Arlenia wanting to stay with you regardless of your feelings toward her or the situation the two of you are in, what would you say to her?"

"Just what I did say to her. That I can't be with her like that because I don't feel the love for her that she does for me and... that I love someone else."

Sanria cleared her throat. Hoping Colin would hear his own words. "Exactly," she said quietly.

"Do you love someone else?" Colin asked. The question caught in Sanria's chest, wrenching her heart. The vision of a smoky projection shimmered into her mind and she looked to Colin with her sorrow etched onto her face.

"He doesn't love me."

"He doesn't?"

"No... he doesn't," Sanria whispered.

"It's not easy being Arlenia."

The statement struck Sanria. She was waiting on a man that didn't love her, while a man was waiting on her to love him, while a woman was waiting on him to love her. A train of broken hearts. She couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the foolish nature of hearts and those who contained them. The easy situation would be to let Colin have Orn and go back to Velentham. In time, she'd forget her pain and forget everything else. "Sanria, you can't do that. Why do you have to leave?"

"Because I'm not a good Arlenia."

Colin put Orn into Sanria's hands and she could barely stop herself from crying at just how the little boy smiled at seeing her. She couldn't leave him. She would just have to endure. Colin would stay in the house but in his own room, they would be there for Orn- neither of them seeking out a relationship, neither of them worrying what would come next. 'One day at a time,' Sanria thought as she laid Orn in his crib. 'One day at a time.'