Mother's Spirit

Time had marched on. Claire didn't know by how far or for how long. Everything bled into the same and more of the same. She was in her bedroom, reading one of the same books she had read twice before, when Gilean's telepath brought her to the dining room.

There was Sanria and Leandra, the girl looking wan and pale. With Askari in attendance, they were told that Leandra - a girl of no more than fourteen or fifteen - was pregnant, and Askari was the father.

Claire felt suffocated. She couldn't breathe, but there was no where she could go. She forced herself to sit at the table, her mouth hanging open, contemplating what had been said. And when the two announced they would get married, Claire had been the first to object. They couldn't, they couldn't move out. They... he... he couldn't leave. She hadn't been able to fix them... she hadn't been able to make him understand, and now he might be leaving...

Leandra and her mother left, and before Claire could say a word, Askari vanished back to his room. Claire wanted to cry, but there would be no tears. She stood up and excused herself from Gilean. In a flash of light, she appeared in their bathroom and vomited into the sink.

Announcements

Magic lifted Sanria and Leandra to Claire and Gilean's cottage, where Gilean greeted them and ushered them inside. Sanria felt hollow, and oddly numb as Gilean asked about Colin and Orn - he knew something wasn't quite right. The five of them, including Askari once he found out Leandra was there, gathered in the dining room. Claire looked small, almost mousy, as though she were cowed in some deep way. Gilean appeared to be his normal self and Askari... Sanria gave a long inward sigh. The boy was moody, hormonal, and the father of her daughter's child. How in the nine hells had this happened?

"I... wasn't feeling good so... my mom tried to heal me..." Leandra began,

"I... kept feeling like I was gonna throw up, you know..."

"I'm sure my Mom can make you better, right mom?" Askari asked.

"I could try," Claire said slowly.

"There is more," Sanria interrupted. And she saw the shock register as she looked over at Gilean's face.

"My mom took me to the druid grove to... see if the Elders could figure out what was wrong... And... they... they... I..."

"You're with child," Gilean finished.

"Well... that's... I mean... why are you here, though?" Claire asked.

"W... wait... a baby?" Askari said with trepidation.

"Wait... no... no no... not... Askari?" Claire said, her voice in a tremor.

"Oh... oh yes, it is..." Gilean said quietly.

"But that means that... they'd... Askari?!"

"What Mom? I... I love Leandra!" Askari defiantly proclaimed.

Oh not this. Not love. Sanria felt a twinge in the pit of her stomach. All of this was just too fast, they didn't even know what love was... come to think of it, did she? "It appears we are to be grandparents. Well... I will be again, but..." Sanria trailed off.

Gilean, for all the world, seemed nearly happy for the children, which irked Sanria a tad. This was serious, not a time to be delighting in the world of kids bringing about more kids. She watched him heal Leandra of her morning sickness, and even tell them that their child was to be a boy. Both Askari and Leandra seemed wrapped in their own world, and Claire seemed void of even the air in her lungs. "It's alright," Gilean said. "We'll help them through. Believe me... I have seem many younger parents than them."

"Younger?" Sanria asked in disbelief.

"More often that you might think. At least these two have all of us to help support them... but Colin's not here."

"He isn't quite happy about this and... given his disposition recently... we thought it better he stay."

"Oh... I... I see..."

"I'll make sure no harm comes to Askari," Sanria offered.

After subduing Leandra and Askari's talk of getting married and moving out so as not to be like the adults that were in their lives, and reminding her daughter that she should not ask at the current moment to stay with Askari, Sanria took Leandra home where the grounding remained in effect. For herself, Sanria crept into her private study and closed the door behind her.

Failure

The news came as a crushing blow to Sanria and the world seemed to shift precariously beneath her feet. Her daughter was pregnant. How could she have neglected to tell her the way these things worked? Had she truly been so blind as to assume that she really knew? They walked home, Sanria's mind reeling - Colin was going to lose it - she'd have to step in, calm him, all the things she had to do all the time - things that made her weary.

"Colin, can you come to Leandra's room," Sanria telepathed, and she rocked in the chair, her chin resting on two steepled fingers, silent as Leandra sat beside her. When Colin arrived, things went roughly as she had expected.

"Pregnant?" he asked between clenched teeth. "No... no... you can't be. They must be mistaken. I mean, you haven't.. You haven't..." Colin looked to her. "She hasn't..."

"I... I didn't know... and... me and Askari... we..." Leandra said quietly.

"You... and Askari!?"

"Papa... I didn't... know that would happen... and things just..."

"That little..." and Colin let fly a punch into the wall that left a crack.

Sanria stood up with patience, tired patience, and went to Colin, laying a hand on his arm. "It took both of them to do this and what is done is done."

"What he did... to our little girl..."

"No, Papa... he didn't... I mean, we both did... it..." Leandra said.

"We should have known with Orn that we needed to talk to her, but we didn't."

"Oh... oh my little girl..."

"Papa... I'm not... hurt..."

Sanria heard the words. Leandra was right, she wasn't hurt. She was just a girl who was pregnant. Her daughter. The one she'd been neglecting as she tried to figure out her own life. She was guilty. For all the talk of balance, she'd forgotten this one crucial piece and life was obligingly filling in for her in ways unimaginable.

Much to Colin's chagrin, Sanria offered her daughter a way out. One which, like her father, Leandra balked at, saying, "I... don't think I wanna kill a baby, Mama."

"Then we will help you... but you need to tell Askari. Can you manage, or do you need to stay here, Colin?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to see him quite yet."

"I'm sorry, Mama... Papa... I'm sorry," Leandra whispered.

"Everything will be alright... we'll make it through as a family," Colin said, rising to hug Leandra. And Sanria couldn't help but hear that as a clear indication of Colin's expectations.

Like... no way

Really, no way. If it hadn't been the Elder Druid telling her himself, Leandra wouldn't have ever believed it. Her mom looked like she was about to pass out on the ground and Leandra didn't know what to do if that happened. She'd have to tell her dad... and she'd have to tell Askari. She really liked him, too, and he was probably going to want to get away from her. Like, really far away from her. Who wants a baby if you're not together like that? Damnit, Leandra thought to herself, I'm just like my stupid, moron mom.

The walk home was tense. Leandra was mortified, but kept glancing over at Sanria, watching her run her hand through her hair like she did a lot lately. Ever since she'd started being in that Keepers clan, actually. Like it all made her nervous or something, but this was... excessive. Leandra thought that if she kept it up, she might pull all her hair out. She put her eyes on the road.

"Your father is going to be furious, Leandra... but it's our fault. We didn't tell you anything about... that. We should have known better."

"It's not you guy's fault -"

"No," Sanria snapped. "It is. You're going to tell your father, but I'm going to have to soothe him. He's probably going to want to kill that boy."

"That's my boy*friend* Mama. Askari is his name."

Leandra jumped when Sanria turned to her, pointing a finger in Leandra's face. "Do you think this is funny?"

"What... what did I say? Sheesh."

"Young lady, you have a child in there and you're a child yourself. If you think for a minute your father is going to care what the hell that boy's name is, outside of knowing it to go wring his neck, you are sorely mistaken."

"Sorry..." Leandra muttered with a frown.

They continued walking and the closer they came to the cavern, the deeper the sick feeling got for Leandra. Of course, her mom was right. Even the thought of her dad getting mad, that vein on his forehead... Leandra frowned as the walked into the house and up to her room. She was so nervous she almost threw up. Her mom called for her dad, and they sat in silence, waiting.

Whoa... What?

Leandra walked beside her mother, her arms folded, petulant and irritated. She scuffed her feet, hoping to goad some sort of response out of her mother, but Sanria kept quiet. "So they'll make me not feel sick?"

"That is the plan, Leandra. Then, it's back to your room."

"I think it's stupid that you guys came after me like that."

"Well, Leandra, you may not believe it, but your father and I do love you - even if we are having our own difficulties."

"You guys always have difficulties. You need to get over it and get rid of Thasmudyan and get back with dad."

"That is none of your concern."

They arrived at the druid's grove without any other words passed between them. The whole thing was just stupid... there really wasn't any other word for it. Leandra waited, impatiently, as the Elder Druid came over, feeling her forehead, feeling her neck, and then sending small pulses of magic into her body. The only other time they'd done this was when she was young to test her magical abilities.

The druid paused and raised an eyebrow. "So? Am I sick or what?" Sanria gave Leandra a scathing look, sending her into silence. She was such an ass. The druid took in a breath and looked at Leandra, then Sanria, and back.

"Well... you are having sickness."

"Well whooptie-doo. I could have told you that."

"I'm sorry," Sanria interjected, "my daughter is in trouble and feels it is her duty to take it out on everyone."

"Pfft."

"Well, you, ah... how should I say this... you're... with child."

Leandra felt the blood rush to her head, thudding with the pulse of her heart. "What?!" both she and her mother shouted at once.

"Well, that's the cause of this sickness..."

Leandra wanted to shrink into nothing, to disappear, to vanish into thin air, to be anywhere but looking into her mother's shocked and disappointed gaze. "What... did you... do..."

"Mama... I..." her voice sounded like a little girl.

"Oh Gods... your father is going to lose his mind."

Mock Turtle

The lilac flames that surrounded Claire's body did not burn as intensely anymore. She was relatively silent, withdrawn, just a shell. She had not talked to Ruthivan in months, and he could not reach her inside the cottage. She tried to talk to her children, but Mirin seemed overly concerned to the point of avoidance, while Askari seemed so angry with her he couldn't stand her presence. The others were still too young to understand, but already Claire could see Celiara having the same pain that her brother carried, and handling it in the same way she was herself - silence and withdraw.

Claire tried to be happy, but the emptiness was back within her. She went through her days caring for Matinus and Celiara while Gilean went to the temple, and the other children went out. She did miss going out. She stared longingly at the garden beyond the back door, her hand on the glass, until one of the children cried or needed her. This was the only way she could manage to keep herself from being taken, the only way to make everyone... she didn't know. She turned away, wiping a tear from her eye, tears she never let anyone in the cottage see.

That night, Claire was visited by Sanria and a very distraught Colin. The trees had brought them to her because Askari had vanished with their daughter. She called him to the house and in typical fashion, he avoided speaking outright. Finally, in fear of Colin, he admitted to knowing where Leandra was. The boy brought her back, and Claire tried to give him a hug of gratitude, which was promptly shrugged off. She had never felt so defeated.

When she went to Askari's room later, she finally told the boy of his conception - how she was forced into marriage and bearing him - she had hoped that it might spark some camaraderie between them. It had backfired, and Claire left the room with an even larger hole in her chest. Something would have to give. She lay in her bed, Gilean sleeping beside her, and cried in silence until sleep overtook her.

Returned!

Askari took Leandra to his tent. While the outside was nothing to be impressed with, the inside was much larger, and full of all sorts of things that he said he had created himself using magic. They had talked for hours about little nothings, about their families and how much parents sucked and were stupid, then about themselves, their bodies... even Leandra's own magic didn't feel that good.

The next day she woke up and Askari was gone. It didn't matter. Leandra sat on the edge of the bed getting dressed. She'd probably go out and see what the Esper camp was like, maybe talk to the trees to figure out where she was, and then see Askari when he got back from wherever he was. But she didn't get that far.

Askari had come back to tell her that her dad and mom were at his house. She couldn't believe it. Part of her thought it was really cool that her dad would leave the cavern just to find her. The other part of her was terrified because she knew for him to leave the cavern to find her mean that he was utterly, thoroughly pissed. She'd have to go back.

And so she did. Her mother and father, of course, treated her like she'd done the worst thing in the world by leaving. She tried to explain that she couldn't live in the house seeing how her dad acted like a dog following around her mother who acted like he didn't exist, but in the end, she was relegated to a term of confinement (grounded!) in her room.

They didn't know that Askari popped in and spent vast parts of the day with her, nor that he spent vast parts of the night with her too. In fact, nothing would have been wrong at all if it weren't for the sick feeling she'd started getting all the time. So sick sometimes that her mom couldn't even fix it.