Turning Tide

The next  day had come and gone  and Sanria was once again laying in bed with  Gilean, taking  stock  of everything.  Gilean  had  noted  digging on the grave, and Sanria had to fess up to her feelings - that Velentham had ruined her life.  Gilean stared at her for a moment before reminding her that  her life wasn't ruined.  He was there, their family was there, even Colin had been given back his memories  and while not with her, had the knowledge of what  family he did have - Orn, Leandra, and his grandchildren.

Still, Sanria  felt the loss of the first child  Velentham took, and the loss of the second she had done in herself. Then she finally admitted it, the feeling she'd been holding as secret since the return of Colin's mind. "I don't think I can do this."

She  was showered  in love - held, kissed,  reassured.  It was the first time she'd  felt, strangely enough, that Gilean wanted her and was ready to do anything to keep her around. For the first time in a while she felt worthy... but still the small feeling maintained its grip on the edge of her thoughts.

They  made love, and  Gilean put a hand to her  stomach, sending his own strange magic into her and she felt it. "How..." she whispered.  To have a child, already, after everything, she knew he had to have orchestrated things. 
"Life will always find a way.  Now we can look forward, and he will help us do that."

Something melted away from her, something that held her captive and circling  the abyss.  Suddenly, she was back on track, she was with the man she married, a man she  loved, and they were going to have their family. "I assure you," Gilean said, "I am going  to do anything  and everything for my family."  For the first time Sanria heard and understood that his statement included her.

Tiny Infants, Looming Saddness

Sanria and Gilean walked to the cavern.  They could have used magic, but in  truth, the walk was sorely needed.  He had  talked her into going to visit the babies  at the cavern where Orn and Mirin  had filled the void left behind  by Leandra's exodus.  They strolled through the woods, hand in hand, Sanria  sneaking tiny glances over at  the silvery-haired young man.  Even with all the stresses that had been heaped upon him, he still looked young.  She had noticed the same could no longer be said for her. She was  entirely dependent  upon Kaliadra for her life and it was clear that  the elf had very  slowly aged.  It was reflected  in Sanria's tiny little  lines.  Gilean assured  her the magic woven  by Velentham  would fade and when it did, she'd once again be on track for a date with death in the future.  A blessed relief that she'd welcome... but for now...

They arrived  to be greeted  by Colin with an infant  in each arm.  They were tiny, but beautiful, with a  shock of purplish hair on their heads. As soon as Sanria  and Gilean walked in, Sanria could feel the slow rise of  tension.  Colin  had eyes only for her, and she  knew the message he was trying to telepath - she'd seen it many times before. Seeing her was torture  for him and each time they'd connect their eyes, she'd feel the undying devotion, the bittersweet  longing for their life together that, now, they'd never have.  She was shocked to feel the same sensation tugging at her chest.  Colin seemed to reserve his smiles only for her, and stayed  at her side, near enough that  she could feel the warmth rolling from him.

If she  could have, Sanria  would have closed  her eyes and drifted into the large arms. This had been their dream, to have him well so they could finally be together like they were so long ago, but it was cruel how life played the final  card.  As  though he could sense it, Gilean came near, handing Regina back to Colin, with the announcement that they had to return to their own family.  Matinus... Nioma... the cottage... yes.  That was her home now... not this place, not this man.  Sanria could not keep herself from looking back until the door had closed behind them.

That  night she admitted her feelings to Gilean, who seemed to take them in like a dry pill.  She did love him, she did choose him, she would try her best... all words she'd  spoken before.  She felt the bitter resentment rise in her and all she wanted  was to go out to spit  once more on the grave  of Velentham.  Instead, Gilean settled her, made love to her, and  once he slept, she crept  from the bed, down  the stairs and to the mound outside.  "I hate you," she  whispered.  "You ruined my life." And Sanria began digging to claw at the corpse with her bare hands.

Losing Ground

She woke to the gold flecked eyes peering into her own with worry, dread,and stale panic.  In slow motion, she watched the twitch of his lip give way to  words, "Sanria... why did you do  that?"  She smiled through the exhaustion and took stock.  She was, indeed, alive as she'd anticipated. Healed, near to full, as she'd figured.  She now looked into the face of fear, of utter  concern.  He'd wanted to be  there, to  guide the little soul on its way back to the cosmos.  She'd wanted to be alone, to punish it into the ground to fester and rot.

When Gilean  told her he was going to move Velentham's body, some exotic tendril snapped in her mind, whipped free in the wind of anger and panic, and demanded to know where he'd be buried next.  She didn't want to lose tabs.  She  knew it was only his carcass - his soul had flown home - but the putrid corpse  below the soil  was the one  place she  had to direct every  drip of ire,  every spear of hate, every tide of loathing.  She'd scalded through the dirt  to char his body  with her churning emptiness. She forced  him to give back  to her what he'd taken, then realized that  he was gone.  Velentham  was free, so free from all he'd done... but she owned  his body.  The thought  of Gilean stealing it from her caused the panic and alarm to manifest as a sneer.  Velentham was her property.

She wanted Gilean to take away any ability to have children, but his face so easily betrayed his feelings.  He still wanted a child with her.  Not right away, but sometime. 'Why?' Sanria thought.  'Why a child with me?' Her voice, however, did not ask. She felt herself wondering if it weren't simply  a way to solidify  his ties to her - to bind  them together - to keep her from Colin.  Her voice, however, did not speak. She gave a partial  smile, a nod, and  watched the gold-flecked eyes, face of concern, turn away to rest.  He expected  her to do the same, thinking the words,  "It will all be alright," would be no less than 100 percent true.

Path of Least Resistance

Sanria stepped back to Gilean's side, looking at Orn and Mirin and the new children held in their arms. She took Gilean's hand in her own and felt nothing by way of acknowledgement. She maintained her smile until they got  home, and after obligatory congratulations  to the brand new grandfather, the conversation drifted to the child held within Sanria.

Gilean  was ready to give up his faith, his  station at the temple, to help her get  rid of Velentham's child.  He'd give  up everything he'd  worked for, his joy in helping others, to be at her side.  Rather than make Sanria feel loved, it made her feel guilt. Though she'd been trying not to,  Sanria had been spiraling down. More times than she careed to admit, she stood behind the cottage, glaring at the grave of her rapist, dark madness  crowding in at the edges  of her vision.  And of equal concern was her nearly burning desire to dig him up and stab him over and over and...

No.  She waited until Gilean slept and went to the small kitchen.  She pulled out  her herbs and whispered druidic spells over them, increasing the potency of the chemicals in their dried leaves. Pennyroyal was toxic enough, she knew, but  the spell that would  keep her from dying was  stronger.  She flooded herself with the mixture, a dose large enough to kill a horse, and  staggered outside to sit on the barren hill of Velenham's grave.

She would not let Gilean destroy his living for her or the abomination she carried with her.  She'd  rid herself of the  child, she'd drop it right on the grave.  She'd go near death again, dragging Kaliadra with her, she  knew - but they'd not cross the  threshold just yet.  They'd be able to cheat it while the thing in her would go the way of its father.

Kaliadra came storming out the cottage door as the sweat began to form on  Sanria's brow.  Sanria's vision was starting to swim, the pains of her stomach  were beginning  to grow, and  she vomited onto the grave.
"What in the name of the Nine Hells did you do, Sanria?!"
"Had to... we'll be okay..."
"You idiot," the elf hissed.  "I could have helped you!"
"No.  You wouldn't."

The elf  went into silence as  she dropped to her knees, clutching her own stomach as though the abortion was her own as well.  Sanria stared back at the grave and gave  another wretch.  She could feel everything as it happened. The blood flowed, the vomit rolled, and Sanria finally pitched forward.  Gilean would find her soon, free from any wrong, and could do what duty he was born to do: healing.

Current Character Description - Mirin Stone

Mirin is a beautiful woman with short, wispy silver hair that stands out at all angles. Her skin is a very light, opalescent lilac that seems to swirl in the light.  Her eyes are a light purple, flecked with gold that seem to spark with an energetic mystery.  She appears to constantly have a smile on her face, though she rarely bothers with words.  She is an incredibly magical being, a mother and a wife to Orn Stone.

Current Character Description - Regina Stone

Cute and little with that brand new baby smell.  She is a  happy little baby with a smile on her sleepy face.  Most often wrapped in a brown fleece blanket, wearing a tiny and soft cotton robe of pink, with tiny white booties laced up with pink ribbons.  She is incredibly small since she is a twin - her brother, Reggie, equally as cute.

Current Character Description - Reggie Stone

There is definitely something special about this tiny little baby.  He has creamy white skin and a tuft of purplish-blonde hair that sticks up on the top of his small head.  His eyes sparkle with a hint of golden light as he often tries to fit his whole little fist into his toothless mouth.  When nobody's looking, small objects occasionally levitate around his crib.  He is only slightly bigger than his twin sister, Regina.