Parting of Ways

The light knocking on the door sent a shock through Sanria. It wasn't that she hadn't anticipated Colin returning, but that she knew what she was going to do once he had. She had stared at the book on the same page for the past hour, all while Colin and Thasmudyan transported Arlenia's body back to the Dark Continent. The image of Colin coated in the woman's blood was what she kept seeing in her mind, as well as the savage state her body had lain. "I was hoping we could talk," Colin began.

"About what, Colin? You killing a sick woman while Thasmudyan was there? You not listening to me at all? You not working to overcome this thing in you?" The emotions within her flooded forth with anger coming unexpectedly.

"Not working to overcome this? Wha... what do you mean?"

"For the love of the Gods, you've never bothered to work on that black makou in you. You've been avoiding anything that upsets you and when it does, you just let loose!"

"Sanria. I've been doing my best. I don't even know how I'm supposed to 'work' on it. Place my family in danger to see how I react? Sanria. She killed one child. She tried to kill Orn right there in front of us. If it weren't for Thasmudyan he would have died."

"Precisely why you shouldn't have killed her. You cut - off - her - head and ran her through!! What in the world is wrong with you?"

"I have something inside of me that shouldn't be there... you know exactly what's wrong with me," Colin stated quietly.

The argument continued, growing heated as Sanria grew more firm in her con- viction. Arlenia's headless body came to the fore again and again, Colin coated in her blood. And more than anything, the fact he could have chosen not to come. He could have chosen to stay home and let Sanria and Thasmud- yan save Orn. He could have chosen.

"I killed her," Colin began, "because she slit our son's throat right there in front of me and I couldn't hold it back any longer."

"I failed that woman because I couldn't stop you. She needed help. Not death."

"Failed her?" Colin asked. "What duty did you have to her? She had help Sanria. She had Banion. Despite that help she chose this."

"And you chose what you did. As I have to choose. I can't do this any more."

Sanria took off her wedding band and tossed it onto the bed beside Colin. She felt her soul crumbling inside. She and Colin had been so good togeth- er for the past couple of years. Here, again, she was ending yet another relationship - and this one in particular, yet again. "Sanria, what are you doing?"

"When you can't even listen to me... I can't prevent you from anything. And if I can't help you, all I can do is watch you destroy yourself and others when you get angry. I'm sorry... but consider us over, Colin."

"What...? Sanria. How can you say that?"

"You don't have to move out since the children are here, but you can't stay with me in this room anymore. You can stay in the guest rooms. I don't want... to see you..."

"So... what... you're choosing that madwoman over me?" Colin asked.

"No, Colin. I'm choosing life over death."

"You said yourself, she needed help. But, you're turning your back on me?"

"I tried. But this is a line... I can't cross with you. This is not okay. I'm sorry we've come to this, but it's the only thing I know to do now."

At the sound of the door closing, Sanria let the tears flow unbidden. She had become accustomed to soothing Colin when he was upset, and the look on his face was more than she could handle. Still, she stood up for what she believed. Part of her felt good for it. The other part felt as if the earth had come to life and swallowed her whole.

The Deciding Line

Sanria arrived back in the cavern with Orn, still holding the boy tightly. She pulled back to look at him and smiled with her eyes full of tears. "I'm so happy you're safe."

"I'm sorry... for leaving..." Orn said, clutching her tightly. It made Sanria's heart ache seeing her son so deeply wounded. While Thasmudyan had healed his outward appearances, she could see that Orn was far from completely okay.

"Shh shh, it's okay. We're not mad at you."

"Why... why did she..."

"That lady was very sick, Orn. Sometimes people who aren't well inside their heads do mean and bad things."

"What... what about Papa. He... he..."

This stopped Sanria for a moment. Orn was full nearing thirteen in the physical terms, but when she looked at him, she still found herself star- ing into the eyes of her little boy. If she were to be fully honest she might well crush him, and so it was with a deep breath she gave a tiny smile, "Your papa saved you."

"Yeah... she won't... hurt anyone else now."

It was the way the boy stated it that tugged at Sanria. "Yes... but what your Papa did... he... we shouldn't kill people who are sick, Orn. Re- member that."

"She... she killed a baby Mama. She sent it, I remember it."

"That is why we have magic, to help those who are sick, Orn. Even when someone does something like that."

"Mama... is Papa sick?"

Sanria looked at Orn for a long moment, her lips quivering in their frozen smile. She couldn't help the tears that sprung to her eyes, nor the utter feeling of helplessness that washed over her as she nodded in the affirmative. "But you and Thasmudyan have magic," Orn said. "You can help him. I'll help too... if you show me how."

"Orn... what is wrong with your Papa... I can't fix. Thasmudyan can't either without really hurting your Papa and maybe killing him. Your Papa will have to figure out what he has to do."

"But Papa doesn't have magic. How is he supposed to fix it? We can help him. I can ask the trees."

Sanria gave a nod and swallowed back her thoughts. She desperately needed to hide the fact that she couldn't let go of what had happened. Colin had killed someone in a black makou fit - but more, he had decided to go along knowing it might happen. There was a part of her heart that had broken completely, but it was of no use. Orn watched her face. "What is it?" he asked.

"I don't think I can be your Papa's wife anymore. I'll still be your Mama-"

"Wh... what? Why?"

"I can't fix what is wrong with your Papa, Orn... and it hurts my heart very much."

"But we can help him," Orn said. "We can help him fix it, right? He scared me... but he's a good dad, isn't he?"

"He's a good Dad, Orn. And we'll help him... but I will just help him as a friend and as your Mom."

It surprised her how well Orn took the news, and she watched the boy run out to the stream beyond. She knew he would be safe - Arlenia was not a threat, yet that brought small comfort with the knowledge of how she was ended. Sanria climbed the stairs to her bedroom, her heart heavy, and stared at a book - waiting for an inevitable conversation. One where she steadied Colin for being without a wife.