Sanria sat with the flowers in her hands, inhaling as hard as she could, but this problem was beyond the reach of nature. What Fenlauch had told her in no uncertain terms, was that she no longer had a husband and her children no longer had a father. She felt there was nothing left for her but the hopeless and heartbroken sensation she felt and so, behind her mahogany desk, her face buried in flowers, she wept. Only once she felt the cocoon of strength, of cold, of armor wrap around her did she dare stand up.
She found Orn in his quarters and told him the news. When Orn looked at her saying, "So it's like they killed him. I don't have a Dad anymore," the tears stung, but did not fall. It was as though they couldn't. Orn assured her it wasn't her fault, but Sanria's mind ran. If only she hadn't pushed Colin. If only she had just stayed with him in the cavern. If only. Orn felt there was hope, why couldn't she? Orn felt that maybe the Rilmani had it wrong, they didn't know. But the truth was, when Fenlauch spoke, it was never with a missed step. Orn wanted to go to Colin once he'd healed, but the thought of seeing Colin with absolutely no recognition in his eyes was more than she could bear.
She called Leandra from the cavern and met her by the river. She had expected rage and blame from the girl, but what Sanria got was silence. Finally, Leandra looked up, her face paper-white. "I don't think I want to see you for a while." And Leandra walked away. Sanria wanted anything but that... anything but the cool indifference.
As Sanria sat by the bank of the river staring into the water, the cold sensation once again washed through her body. She would allow herself this moment to grieve. She would give herself this time to let the world stop spinning so fast. Then, she would get back to work. She looked at the ring on her finger and slipped it off, placing it in her pack. That world, the one contained in the amber leaves of her wedding band, was over. All that was left was the Keepers, and Nioma, and she'd be sure that the only time anything would happen to them would be over her stone cold body.
