Sanria chatted with Colin about the healing, noting immediately the drawn look on Colin's face. She knew he didn't like the idea of Thasmudyan touching her in that way, moreso because of the threat to the peace in the cavern. She knew he was afraid of losing her again, but Sanria knew there just wasn't a way it could happen. She wouldn't leave Colin for a man she didn't know.
They chatted then about Colin's jealousies and it brought up her own. How could he be jealous of her? What had she done compared to the night she spent in the hut - listening to him with Arlenia? Still, he could not make her understand just how someone could do that with another person and claim they felt nothing. Even to free themselves. How was it possible?
The idea surrounded the bug that Thasmudyan had inadvertently planted in her mind. She could feel that nothing in her body had changed, even after the healing. She looked at Colin and proposed an idea that even she couldn't believe... she would speed up the pregnancy and be granted the ability to understand. She would sleep with Thasmudyan.
Colin seemed absolutely incredulous and against the idea, no matter how much Sanria positioned the point that she just couldn't understand. She couldn't. She had tried but the night listening to Arlenia and Colin just wouldn't leave. If she didn't gain understanding, she wouldn't be able to keep going. If she couldn't believe Colin, what kind of marriage did they have?
Perhaps understanding would at least buy her time. It would stop the creeping shadow of the wall from overtaking her new life. It would be one less thing eating at her soul, gnawing on her mind. Though Colin refused, he left the choice with her. Though Sanria thought she might not take it, the next day she found herself standing in a room with Thasmudyan, unable to hide her nerves from him.
