Sanria's mind tripped along the narrow line between the requests Colin had made of her, and the desire that sat coiled at in the pit of her stomach. Give up remembering or try to find a way to get everything in her old life back. She tired of the darkness - the looming black wall. She tired of the dreams - the green eyes and the man that accompanied them. If she could remember, perhaps the dreams would stop and the darkness would lift. Given what she knew now, she could fix her life and be able to know people she once knew.
In the sitting room, the thought hit her once again that she could approach Thasmudyan about speeding up her pregnancy. Colin didn't want her to do that either. He had expressed his fears - the idea that her ex-husband might be able to get her to remember not only her past, but him, was more than Colin wanted to think about. But Sanria's mind began to turn. It was possible to get nearer to this man she didn't remember by asking him to speed her pregnancy, then perhaps he would aid her in getting back her memories.
She found Thasmudyan in the library bent over the desk, writing. She had absolutely no recollection of the man at all, nor the child they had together lifetimes ago. She did find him handsome, but as for anything else - it was just as dark as everything else from her past. "Can I ask you a question? A favor, actually?" Sanria asked after approaching him.
"Of course. What's on your mind?"
"I... do you think... I would really like for Orn to have a sibling that ages with him and I... Do you think you could make this child like him?"
"You mean..."
"I - don't mean to intrude upon your abilities. Colin said I shouldn't bother you with it. I just... I don't know what you did before that made Orn grow like he has..."
"Well.. to focus the power is quite draining. I'd be fine, of course.."
"Then let's help Leandra grow," Sanria said, holding her hand out to him.
It worried her when Thasmudyan hesitated and wore an uncertain expression on his face. "Is everything alright?" she asked.
"Well, there is something else... It's a rather ...intimate experience."
"How do you mean?"
"We develop a sort of empathy for each other... I can feel what you feel, and vice versa."
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't really remember anything. My day consists of the joy of a babbling brook, my son..."
"I'm not so sure you want to hear what goes around in my head, though..."
"Well... try me."
The blush that spread over Thasmudyan's cheeks, though faint, was enough to get Sanria to notice. Her curiosity was piqued, but something told her to give the man a way out. "I'm sorry. I suppose even you have things you don't wish to share. It's... alright."
"No, it's alright... just reminded me that there's another way to get the effect you're after... but it'd be inappropriate."
"What way? Please, you can say anything. I'll take no offense."
"You're married," he replied with a soft chuckle.
Sanria knew she was close to an answer of sorts. "Yes, but... I don't know how it could prevent you from speaking words..."
"So you're right. I can still speak words, can't I? Well, since you asked. My power gets released, unintentionally, when I... well, when I have sex with someone. In fact, it's already happened before, with Tarran."
"You had sex with Tarran? You'll have to forgive me, I don't know the name so I'm not sure if I should be... well... what I should think."
The look on Thasmudyan's face let Sanria know she was on the wrong track. "He's your son," the man replied.
"Oh...," Sanria replied, thoroughly embarassed. "I... well... I forget that I have more than Orn sometimes..."
"Not mine, though, but while you were pregnant with him, we... well, you know."
It struck Sanria hard. The woman in her past was definitely worlds apart from who she was now. The idea that she had cheated on her husband before her husband before this husband... "Perhaps we should... just start with healing me..."
"Yes, that's probably best..." Thasmudyan replied.
Sanria led Thasmudyan out to the stream beside the cavern and sat by the water's edge. The place was special to her - all the wonderful moments with Orn were spent here - watching the boy as he grew. It only seemed fitting to speed Leandra along here too. They would grow up close together, even if magic made them grow faster. "What do I need to do?" she asked.
"You don't need to do anything. Just take my hand."
Sanria did as told, feeling odd as Thasmudyan intertwined his fingers with hers. The man closed his eyes and Sanria took the time to look over his face. She could remember nothing of him. Nothing at all. The dark wall confronted her each time she tried to step backward in time. It was -
The sudden rush of healing life energy that blew through her was incredible, and took Sanria's breath away. It was as though every cell in her body was vibrating at the frequency of light, each in tune with the other, each in perfect concert with every other living thing around her. By the time it ended and they parted, Sanria could feel the affection the man held for her - and could feel her own body remembering something her mind could not.
