Excuse Me...

All about them, businessmen and women bustled about dressed in finery and appearing to be in a very massive hurry. Houses, tall and stately as the obvious owners, lined one side of the road, while shops sat on the other. Velentham smirked inwardly as Gilean craned his neck, looking around for any sign of familiarity. "Where are we now?" he asked.

"Since you're so into guiding me why don't you ask them for help."

"Excuse me..." Gilean began, stopping a portly businessman. "What is this place?"

"Here now, are you speaking to me?"

"Yes, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm new here and a bit lost."

"Perhaps a map would better suit you. To not know where you are. The audacity!"

Velentham couldn't hide the smile on his face as Gilean failed not once, but twice. It was petty, it was trite, but he was doing what was familiar, for the pain of his father's passing was already too much to dwell upon. It was several moments before Velentham followed Gilean into a haberdashery and set to amusing himself trying on hats. "Well now! Two gentlemen! What may I do for you? Measurements? I've the finest in felts in just this day."

"Well, you do have some fine products here. I was hoping you could help me with something though. My friend and I have just arrived and are a bit lost. What is this place?"

"Why, my fine fellow, you are in a haberdashery. I can create the finest in hats, simply ask. I can make just about anything to suit your cranium."

"Oh, no," Gilean continued as Velentham snickered under his breath. "I mean, this city. Where are we?"

"Sigil? How could you not know? Clerks Ward, to be precise. We have some shops but are more full of politicians. Non-trustable lot, but they spend a lot of coin."

Velentham picked up a hat with a strikingly long pheasant feather in the brim. He walked over to the mirror, sneaking glances at Gilean and the shop keep as he posed. "Sigil..." Gilean continued. "I'm looking to get back home, to my beautiful lady and unborn child. Near Westbridge... on Toril. Do you know where that is from here?"

"Will you be buying a hat this fine day?"

"Perhaps I could consider taking a present home for her," Gilean said with not too much distaste in his voice.

"Torhill you say. Well now, is that in one of the many planes? Demiplanes?"

"It is the material plane."

Velentham turned to face the shopkeep with a debonair smile on his face. "That looks very fetching on you, if I do say so myself. The ladies might really like that look."

"Do you think so?" Velentham asked. "What do you think, cousin?"

"Wonderful," Gilean replied flatly.

"I'll take it, then. Where would this portal be to the material plane?"

"There is a portal not five doors down. Of course, take care that you count them, the doors shift constantly and you could end up elsewhere."

"I am eternally grateful," Velentham replied as Gilean left the shop.

"I thought he was going to purchase a gift for his wife?"

"Politician," Velentham grinned.

Confessions

Sanria walked out of Thasmudyan's room and closed the door behind her. She stood in the hallway, Orn's room only a couple doors away, unable to come to grips with what had happened. Part of her understood, for there were times when she looked at Thasmudyan wanting him to be Colin, the other part of her, the greater part of her, was left more confused. The life force that flowed from the healer into her pulled her into him, for a moment, they were one - and she could see lifetimes within him... and herself reflected in more than a couple. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had loved the man in the guest room, and loved him more fiercely than anyone else. But that was a lifetime ago...

She held her breath as she stood in the hall and her eyes filled with tears. Confusion was a force she had not anticipated, and seeing yourself reflected in the heart of another soul without being able to recall any of it was more than she had bargained for. Part of her wanted to go back in, to slip into his bed, to sleep with this heart she now found herself entwined with like a long lost lover - but that time had passed. With great effort, reminding herself of the present, of her son, of her upcoming child - she pulled herself from the doorway and headed upstairs to the master bedroom.

Sanria told Colin everything... everything except what was going on deep in her heart. She truly had wished it was Colin... some of the time... but to admit to him what she had felt and the terrible trembling in her heart would only have served to break him down further. That was a lifetime ago. She wouldn't be going anywhere. She'd stay with Colin. She had her answer, she had her understanding, and she had more than she'd ever bargained for swirling within her like a tempest.

After many reassurances, the couple laid in bed and Sanria's mind went into overdrive. To make this work, to not let Colin discover the extent of her thoughts, she would have to avoid Thasmudyan until the man left. She couldn't help but realize that she had only made things worse. She was now sitting on a powder keg and Thasmudyan was a flame.

Understanding

"You... still feel that strongly?" Sanria asked, and for a moment, she gave over to a tinge of regret. Colin's fears rang in her mind...

"I'll explain. It's the sort of thing that, since it's shared between two people... whether you feel anything depends a lot on how you go about it. Maybe this other woman who kidnapped Colin was being selfish, and just focused on herself. But if she focused on him, and really loved him.. it'd be harder for him to feel nothing, if that makes sense. As for me, well... I'm just that sort of person who doesn't do things half-assed. If we were to do ...that... I'd want to be sure you enjoyed it."

The implication of the message was not grasped by Sanria. Had she listened, she might have heard the underlying message beneath. Thasmudyan was not Arlenia. But her own nerves rattling kept her from catching what might have slowed her decision.

"I suppose I will just have to accept what he says..."

"It's up to you."

"Well... I came to you with my thoughts and my offer. But if it's asking too much... I understand."

"No... you don't ask too much."

Sanria could feel the desire riding on the connection they still shared from their previous healing encounter. It was hard not to absorb it and mix it with her own. "I don't want to pressure you into anything," Thasmudyan said, as though sensing her mind.

"I didn't want to do the same to you."

"I think you'll find that won't be a problem."

Sanria looked at Thasmudyan, her heart racing. She did not know this man, she did not remember their past together. Had she remembered, she might have avoided being healed. Had she remembered, she might have known what seemed to inevitably follow such times. But - she didn't remember, and that night she found herself with a stranger that her mind didn't know - but her body certainly did.

Discussions

The observatory was where she found Thasmudyan, staring out over the lands from the large windows. "I... it didn't work," she began.

"How do you know?"

"A woman knows her own body," Sanria said with a chuckle. "Thank you for trying."

"Of course.. you're always welcome."

She studied him for a long moment and could tell that something wasn't right. "I've been.. feeling weaker," he finally told her, and the proposition that Sanria had come to offer suddenly seemed unfair.

"Weaker... from healing me?" she asked.

"Not from you.. just... in general." Thasmudyan shook his head as he looked out the window. "Might be something to do with how long I was in the Lifestream. But, I was fine for a while.. this only started recently."

"Do you think you need to go back?"

"...Maybe."

"I'm not sure where it is, but maybe Colin can help take you back?"

"I know the way. Perhaps I will go another day. For now, though... I am fine, really."

There was no way Sanria could ask him knowing he was weakened. She turned to go and he reached out, setting the butterflies in her stomach loose, "You don't need to go."

"I came up here to talk to you about certain things but you said you hadn't been feeling yourself. I think perhaps it's fate telling me that those things are best left unspoken."

"Don't mistake me. I'm still myself.. just concerned a bit, that's all. You're still welcome to talk about, well, whatever it was you wanted to talk about."

"It was about, well... you said that we'd made pregnancies go faster before by... you know..."

She knew immediately that he had not anticipated what she came to say. "I did... and likely they would..." Thasmudyan recovered.

"I just... I talked to Colin about it and though he doesn't agree... He thinks it might be very unfair to you. And that if my body remembered him... mine might remember you as well." Sanria let out a breathless chuckle. "He's very jealous."

"...I was thinking it'd be unfair to him. He's your husband, after all."

"Right. Unfair... to him," Sanria said, her mind on Arlenia.

"Well, why would he think it's unfair to me?"

"That I would not be able to be with you. To be together that way might raise your expectations."

"Perhaps so. I don't ...expect anything, though."

It suddenly came tumbling from Sanria's mouth - unbidden. The pain and hurt riding side by side with the realization of what she was asking, "He was kidnapped not long before you showed up. To get away from her, he slept with her. I heard them together... I have to know... I have to know if you can do something like that and not love who you do that with. I don't know you... and..." Sanria lowered her head. "I don't understand how you can do something like that and feel nothing, like he says. So I want you to help me understand. Only if you... want to. This is incredibly selfish of me to ask. I just..."

"I don't think it's selfish so much as you simply want to understand."

"Then... what do you think?"

"I think that the problem is that I might want to try and make you feel something."

Old Habits

Sanria chatted with Colin about the healing, noting immediately the drawn look on Colin's face. She knew he didn't like the idea of Thasmudyan touching her in that way, moreso because of the threat to the peace in the cavern. She knew he was afraid of losing her again, but Sanria knew there just wasn't a way it could happen. She wouldn't leave Colin for a man she didn't know.

They chatted then about Colin's jealousies and it brought up her own. How could he be jealous of her? What had she done compared to the night she spent in the hut - listening to him with Arlenia? Still, he could not make her understand just how someone could do that with another person and claim they felt nothing. Even to free themselves. How was it possible?

The idea surrounded the bug that Thasmudyan had inadvertently planted in her mind. She could feel that nothing in her body had changed, even after the healing. She looked at Colin and proposed an idea that even she couldn't believe... she would speed up the pregnancy and be granted the ability to understand. She would sleep with Thasmudyan.

Colin seemed absolutely incredulous and against the idea, no matter how much Sanria positioned the point that she just couldn't understand. She couldn't. She had tried but the night listening to Arlenia and Colin just wouldn't leave. If she didn't gain understanding, she wouldn't be able to keep going. If she couldn't believe Colin, what kind of marriage did they have?

Perhaps understanding would at least buy her time. It would stop the creeping shadow of the wall from overtaking her new life. It would be one less thing eating at her soul, gnawing on her mind. Though Colin refused, he left the choice with her. Though Sanria thought she might not take it, the next day she found herself standing in a room with Thasmudyan, unable to hide her nerves from him.

Clockwork (2)

The next day had dawned, but for Velentham, the next day was merely the next moment in a long line of nothing. As soon as he felt the light shaking at his side, as soon as his eyes opened to see Gilean leaning over him, reality flooded back with painful acuity. "FATHER!" he screamed.

"Velentham... I'm sorry. Try to keep your voice down. We aren't exactly out yet."

Velentham stared at Gilean, his eyes narrowing. The hatred he felt within him for the priest was at the fore. For Velentham, the fault that his father was not here rested solely - squarely - on the shoulders of the lesser Celestial. Still, the priest was right, and Velentham got to his feet, attempting to finish what his father started. "Without a portal we won't get in even if we spent all day climbing," Velentham said, staring in the distance at the tall spire atop which sat the City of Sigil.

"We're out of the hells though. There must be a way for us to proceed."

"Yes. Just... let me think for a moment." Velentham sighed into a whisper, "We needed you, father."

"Velentham... you are strong and your father believed in you. You can do this, and I will help you."

"Come," Velentham said. "We will fly east. We should find a city along the edge of the plane that will have a portal up."

Indeed, after flying only moments and at high speed, the City of Automata rose up before them. They landed at the gates and a gnomish guard in full regalia stepped before them. "Be ye friend or foe?"

"Friend, of course," Velentham said with a deep bow. "We have no ill intent, we simply need a portal to Sigil."

"I'm just looking to return home," Gilean said.

"Very well. Center of the city. Mind that you touch nothing you don't understand."

"You have our word."

The tiny guard opened the gate to reveal a city that seemed to rotate on giant cog wheels. Everything was mechanized, including the street sweepers that moved along with jerking, halting movements. There was absolutely nothing natural, and to punctuate their differences, the first words from Velentham's mouth were, "It's hideous," while Gilean said, "Wow, impressive."

They ended up walking into the main square, more of a circle than square, as the entire contraption rotated on cogs which revealed and disguised a myriad of doors. A woman sat on the bench that rotated along with the fountain in the center, contentedly reading, and it was to her that Velentham turned on his charm. "Greetings, madame. I was wondering if you could point my friend and I in the direction of the portal to Sigil?"

Velentham felt the familiar tingle through he body as he sent wave after wave of charming energies toward the woman. Helpless, she replied with a coquettish smile, "Wait three full turns and the door to the north will appear once more. Would you like to sit here with me and wait?" Velentham pulled himself up to his full height and began to bow but was halted by Gilean stepping in front of him.

"Thank you," Gilean said. "That's very kind of you. We will just wait over there."

Velentham, thwarted, gave a polite bow to the woman before following Gilean to the other side of the square. "There's really no need to influence people like that," Gilean said. "It's a bad habit to get into."

"There was no need for you to interfere. You have a bad habit of doing that, too, you know."

"People are entitled to their free will. You shouldn't interfere with that just because you can. Not unless it's necessary."

"Well I did nothing to her that wouldn't have naturally happened," Velentham said with a shrug. "I can't help what I am."

"Yes, but you don't have to encourage it. You can restrain yourself. Learn to minimize the impact. You do have control over yourself."

"You aren't my father. I don't need your guidance."

Paying no further attention to Gilean's words, Velentham rose at the first sight of the Sigil portal as it clicked into place. "There. Come on, before it vanishes again."

The two men rose and entered the door, finding themselves almost immediately in a new place. Whether or not it was Sigil remained to be seen.

Anguish

Only Gilean prevented Velentham from rushing after his father. Unfathomable pain, anguish so profound it made his chest ache, Velentham could only let out an animal cry of fury. Asmodeus' black shade recoiled for only a moment before seeming to digest the insignificant flare that exploded in his heart. Tears of rage and grief filled his eyes as the shade began to fill the entirety of the chasm. At last, Asmodeus began to take his shape as an absolutely massive hell lord. There was nothing left but to obey - Velentham roared out his hatred and changed direction - speeding for the portal to the Outlands.

Behind him, Gilean sent Blackblood careening with a ray of light toward the heart of Asmodeus. It connected, slowing the hell lord enough to allow both Gilean and Velentham to pass through the portal. With nothing to block them, the two rocketed over the town of Ribcage - causing an outcry of anger from the denizens that flocked there - and sailed far beyond into the forests.

Exhaustion, pain, rage, frustration - each took their turn filling Velentham to the brim. He collapsed on the ground, howling and sobbing. He had lost the one being that would have done everything for him - did - everything for him. At Gilean's touch, he wheeled, snarling. "You... this is because of you... you did this... you made him sacrifice himself..."

"He made his choice... for you. Everything he did... he did for you."

Velentham knew it was true. He gripped the amulets around his neck, the last possession of his father and the only one he had left. "He put this on me so I could focus... once he took it off... he couldn't keep himself from doing what he did."

"He knew... he knew what would happen," Gilean said almost absently.

"Of course he did... he waited til the last to give this to me... he kept me in a stupor... so I wouldn't fight."

"Your father was a great man," Gilean said. "It falls to you to honor his greatness. Be the man he has always wanted you to be and he will live on in you."

Velentham slumped to the ground, clutching the amulets in his hands as he sobbed. Sleep, as always, dutifully covered him - forcing his exhaustion to quiet him and slip into dreamless slumber amidst the forested floor.