I was pulled back into myself today. I cannot claim I was not annoyed by the appearance of the Priest with Sanria and her son - at least at first. It appears she and Colin forgive me. It is kind of them to seek me out to inform me of such a thing, but it does not preclude the fact that I cannot forgive myself. I not only took the life of one of her children, I lost myself in the search for knowledge - obliterating that basic of all rules for those who seek to learn.
The boy was very cute. He smelled like the woods, which seems fitting given that his mother is a sage. It was nice to feel the lightness in her heart at seeing him. Motherhood seems to suit her. I will never taste such things - though I am at ease with that fate. For what little bit of elven ability remains with me, I shall know through her the joys it brings. It feels so much like old times... when Sanria was happy.
The last comfort I am given is that the Priest will most likely not disturb me again. I changed forms for him simply to let him know I was in control of myself. Now? I feel I will finally be able to lose myself. Though it may not be necessary in the eyes of everyone else - it is a fate I have chosen and have no reason to prevent it. In the land of the bipedal animal, there is nothing left for me.
