Renewed Vigor

Claire  appeared in a flash of purple light that shot through Ruthivan's  room, illuminating  his  sleeping form on the bed.  Claire crept closer and looked down at him.  He  looked lost, haggard, scraggly, and most of all, exhausted.  She  loathed him, the  way he had forced this link upon her, the way he had succeeded in tearing apart her life with Gilean.  Yes, death would certainly end the bond, but to kill an esper - indeed to kill anyone - was beneath Claire's capacity. There had to be another way.

Claire stood there for a long moment, staring down at Ruthivan's  sleeping form, and thought about leaving. But  the smell of him, sweat - forest - leather, made her body  dance with a charged energy.  Every atom in her skin seemed to  vibrate and  as if calling out to his, they roused Ruthivan.

Claire  held her  breath as, by  the light of her own purple skin, Ruthivan's dark red eyes locked onto her. She could see in that moment the confusion, the state of  believing it to be a  dream, then the realization that  it wasn't.  She  loathed  him.  Yes,  she truly did loathe  him.  But she  felt herself  willingly go as he  pulled her to him.  Like a drug, his kiss sent Claire  into a swoon  of  intoxication.  Logic  could tell her why. But all logic had been left standing at the bedside.

"You can stay here with me, you know..."
"No.  I can't."
"Why?  Why not?" Claire  rose from  the bed  and dressed, facing  away from  Ruthivan.  "I  just... can't.  I'll  bring  the children to see you tomorrow but..."  In a moment she was back  at the cottage, slipping into her  familiar bed.  She  knew  Gilean was  awake, but  she couldn't bear to touch him. She wasn't sure he'd let her if she tried.

Lost and Found

Claire stared out of the window that faced the back of  her  cottage.  She watched  the lazy stream bubble and babble its way over the rocks, scattering the sunlight  on its  surface.  She watched the tufts of pollen that dropped from the trees, glowing  speckles that drifted on the light breeze.  They had more freedom than she.

Night finally  fell and the  children were tucked away in bed.  Claire sat with Gilean, watching  him read in his chair, the firelight casting a deep yellow glow on his  skin.  From the corner of his eye, he looked over  at her and closed  his book.  He  gave a  warm, though pitying smile.  "You seem troubled," he said gently.
"I can't keep doing this, Gilean," Claire replied.
"Doing what?"
"Staying inside, locked away from life out of fear."
"There's nothing else we can do."
"I am going to go to him."

A sudden chill went through the room and Gilean looked down  at his lap.  Claire sighed  lightly.  "I know we have been  trying to  let this bond die, but it's not, Gilean.  I am losing my mind."
"I just think that given time-"
"How  much  time?  I'm... I'm miserable, Gilean.  This method is not  the answer.  I'm not feeling less drawn to him, on the contrary, it's gotten worse."
"I don't know what else I can say," he whispered.

Claire's  heart ached for  Gilean.  She hated what she did  to him, hated  making him hurt, but  she could do  nothing about what nature  had placed  between herself and Ruthivan.  She stood up and walked over to Gilean, giving  him a small hug, one that was meekly returned. "I'll be back."  A nod was all she gained by way of a reply.

Mrs. Wolldon

Leandra looked down at the bundle in her arms.  Truth was she was afraid of the tiny infant that lay there, sleeping.  She'd never had a baby before and it hurt like hell.  He came out screaming and didn't quiet until her mom put him in her arms.  She was afraid because for the first time, Leandra realized she really was a mom and really did actually marry Askari.  She realized they had no where to live but here with her mom and dad.  She looked at Askari and saw that he was afraid, too.

Even the day of her wedding, as she and Askari stared at each other in the druid grove, even as the Elder Druid looked at them like they were too young but trying, even as she repeated the druid's words and squeezed Askari's hands and put the ring on his finger, she was afraid.  Was the rest of her life going to be fear like this?

The baby (they couldn't even figure out what to name him yet) stirred and brought Leandra's eyes onto him.  He was cute - with the dark hair of his dad and the dark eyes of his dad and the lighter red skin of his dad... and Leandra's mind wandered.  Maybe Esper genes were stronger than human genes.  Maybe.

Leandra called to her dad.  She asked him to let her and Askari stay until they found their own house.  She talked to Colin and felt her heart sink.  She could tell he wasn't proud of her, maybe even embarrassed by her but  he said that wasn't true.  Then, Leandra's mind wandered to Nioma.  She  asked her father if he'd be telling the baby who her real dad was - but  every time she asked, Colin just got mad.  Like he didn't think she had a  different dad... like he didn't care that she wouldn't know when she got  bigger.  Sometimes, though, it was good to know when to stop talking.

Askari came back into the room after her dad left, and Leandra looked at him closely.  He was her husband now, and her baby's dad, and she did love him.  She may not know everything about him yet, but she would, and even though things still didn't feel completely right, and even though she was still afraid, at least looking at him made her feel not alone. She would never again be alone.

Familiarity (1-2)

Sanria was warmed at how enthusiastically Ror took the moss. He checked his list and agreed he had all he needed.  Methodical and attentive. She stared at the uniform again with a smile and nod. "Throm would have been very happy with you, I know it."
"Eh?" came the puzzled reply.
"Ah, my ramblings.  You're a studious mind and a researcher.  He would have truly  enjoyed meeting you and perhaps getting to know you as he was also."
"Was he a famous researcher?" Ror asked.
"Famous..." and Sanria chuckled.  "He  was a congressman for TriPower and a leader of the army. I don't know about famous, but well known. Well known."
"I will  ask around then, because I have not  seen any statues of him yet."
"I don't know that there will be any.  But he was a good man.  It seems you are as well."

She anticipated  Ror would be off and in fact Sanria  had made ready to say goodbye,  but it seemed  the sorrow on her face  had stopped the researcher from going.  "My  apologies if  my remarks have caused  you sorrow. I meant well. All the great men and women of the TriPower have their statue. I know, I studied them. Just none of Throm."
"There  is no need  for apologies.  I'm  not truly certain  all know of his death, he was known for disappearing as well. In their minds, he may simply be off on another adventure."  Wasn't that death anyway?  Another grand adventure?  Inwardly she chuckled, certainly Throm would have thought so.
"May I be so bold and ask you how he died?"

Sanria took the  proffered arm and allowed herself to be led to the side of the  falls where moss grew in abundance.  There, she sat near Ror, and told him about Throm's death - the black makou that had  plagued him for so many years - the last time she saw him that he was free of it, but had died. The truth was, Sanria did not know how Throm had died, but she had a suspicion.  Getting the black mako out, in her mind, had ended Throm's life. The thought flittered across her mind that what was in Colin might just have to stay in there forever.

Colin... she had forgotten completely about Colin and Nioma. The last thing she needed  was Colin to come out of the cavern and see her sprawled on the moss with a man  he'd never seen.  Not that  she was, necessarily, sprawled "with" Ror, but... "I think I shall go  then, but  I would like  to make an appoint, if that's not a problem," he asked as she rose to go.
"To return?"
"Here? I  suspect elsewhere  to be  honest. But  if here, then  here, yes." It shocked Sanria a little, they hadn't gotten on that well, had they? "Any where, certainly.  When and where?"
"When you have the time, as for where, that would be Throm's laboratory."

Sanria's breath caught.  The absolute forward nature of the request was raw against  the wound she had allowed  to surface.  What  had she done?  "I... can't do that... I'm sorry."
"Sorry, I  didn't mean you  have to go with me. You  can if you want. All I ask is that you show me where it is."
"No... I can't... do that," she replied again.  What the hell had she done.
"Too dangerous or personal objections?"
"Quite a bit of both, I assure you. Throm had secrets that... even with his not being here, I suspect would be best kept that way.  Besides... he  does still have a son out there somewhere and I don't feel it my place to reveal  his father's personal life."
"Alright. There's  nothing I can do then. But, if Throm's research falls in  another's hands, outside the TriPower, what then?"
"There is much you do not know about Throm uth Bannon, Ror."

They  parted, Ror's words, "Heh, you told me more than they did. And I read  the books too.  Such an important man, yet no statue," knocking against her brain.  And then he mouthed a  few words, no sound, but she was certain she had not misinterpreted.  "I need to know. Because I don't trust him."  Even in death, she thought, Throm was plagued with what?  Being a politician and a sorcerer  who knew far more than he ever let on.  She would meet with Ror again, but this time, she would watch her words carefully.

Sanria went back inside, back into the thick air, back into the place where happiness hinged on her staying put. She regretted going outside today. She regretted talking to someone new. She regretted that she would have to weave  yet another  fabrication to extricate herself from saying too much, and yet  another fabrication to keep someone she cared for safe... even if he was dead.

Research Division

"He disappeared?" the elf asked.
"He died. Old history... I'm sorry," Sanria replied, standing straighter.
"I see. My condolences"
"Thank you.  I'm Sanria Stone."
"Ror Surion," he said with a salute.  "Research division."
"What do you research, if I could ask?"
"Ah, I research the domains of magic, most predominantly the lifeforce and  nature."

Sanria's head swam.  Lifeforce and nature.  Key components in the creation of Nioma.  She batted the thoughts away before they could take hold.  This was a new face.  Before she knew it, he rattled off the names of each herb in her hand and it pleased her greatly.  "Are you a sage?  Most who aren't don't really know them so well..."
"Indeed, I am a sage. Although still in training, I must admit."
"We are always in training, Sir Ror."
"Touche."

The elf, Ror, had  been looking for herbs and  in particular the moss that grew  abundantly at the edge of the falls.  It was an  opportunity to show the cavern to a new face, and Sanria led Ror behind the falls and into the sparkle of  the Bejuril Crystals.  She  allowed him to take a few, telling him  the story of  Icehawk and how, long  ago, he had been able to fashion communication  crystals that  worked with  technology.  Yet another memory from a time that seemed so far away from now.

Sanria left  Ror happily pulling  crystals from the cavern and walked back out  into the forests.  She gathered the moss for him, tucking it into one of the satchels she had brought for her own purposes, then sat across from the falls, watching  the water.  An elf.  In  truth, the last  one she had  seen was  Kaliadra and that was ages past.  How was she?  Obviously alive, for  without her Sanria would also be dead.  Had she forgotten herself? Or perhaps she had found  a new life  and moved on.  The  questions kept surfacing until Ror at last made his way back out from the cavern.

The Elf

Tea.  That's why Sanria needed to leave the cavern.  Not for the stifling feeling or the sensation she was  drowning beneath the weight of some yet untold lie.  Not for the tiny twinge of guilt that wrenched her bowels in a  tremor of tiny needles pricking at her innards.  Tea.  Herbs.  She was running out, knowing full  well the containers were full.  Sanria excused herself, leaving Colin holding Nioma, "their" blue-eyed daughter.

The  forest offered  a lungful of  fresh air.  Sanria  could never  quite explain  how the forest made her feel.  The air was vital, thick with the scent of pine  and loam.  It was cool and soothing, and she found herself humming quietly as she plucked the growing sprigs of chamomile and yarrow. With a few more spearmint leaves, she would have enough.  And as she went to the edge of a tree, she heard the humming that was not her own.

Sanria  was stunned into silence.  He  was an elf,  tanned, athletic, and a bit taller  than Sanria herself.  Her eyes then fell on his uniform and she  found her  breath caught in  her throat.  When was the last time she  had seen a TriPower uniform?  A sudden wave grief hit her, but she untied the  knot in her  stomach and fought  back the tears that stung her eyes. She rarely  allowed herself time to  think of  Throm.  In everything that had happened, those memories had been relegated to the back of her mind.

"Excuse me..." Sanria  said, approaching the elf, who now picked at a few herbs of his own. 
"Oh! Hello, didn't see you there," he replied.
"Quite  alright... I  was just...  wondering... you  are wearing TriPower  regalia, correct?"  Of course she was correct, but anything to make small talk.  Anything to  perhaps touch  a tiny  corner of the  fabric that had been her life.  Not too much... but just enough.
"Ahem, yes madam, indeed, you are correct."
"It's been a long while since I've seen it..."
"The regalia, or something else?"
"You  are keenly perceptive.  I  lost someone  very special to  me."  She wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch the armors. She refrained.
"You may have known him, though perhaps not, he was a leader of TriPower."
"I'm all ears, madam."
"Throm uth Bannon," she replied, fighting her grief back.

Casualties of Love (1-2)

Sanria had barely put her head against Colin's chest, conceding that she would stay with him, when the scream cut through the night. Immediately, Colin bristled and moved her behind  him as he snaked through the trees. A body lay at the entrance to  the cavern and as they approached, Sanria made out the clothing - or lack of clothing - as belonging to Maya.

"Well, she's alive  but she's losing a lot of  blood..." Colin said, and Sanria  walked to the pathway, bringing  a large ball of continual light  into existence.  There  was no one as far as  she could see, and she let the spell go and turned back to Colin and Maya. 
"H....help me.."
"What happened to you?"

Sanria did not listen to the remainder of her words. The woman's arm was laid open and she focused what limited ability she had on staunching the  flow of blood.  At last, the fibers of muscle were knitted back together and  the skin was more or  less a weeping scrape.  A priest she was not. "I'm afraid I will... I will, I wont be able to refrain from try... trying to destroy it."
"Trying to destroy what?" Sanria asked, wiping her forehead.
"The.... b..baby.." Maya strained.
"Your baby?  But... why?"
"It wasn't.... born from love... It's.... its all a lie.."

The guilt swept  over Sanria as well as a twinge of sorrow.  She glanced at Colin before looking down.  They  had just expended so much energy on  this topic and it was as if the realms were conspiring to keep it at the fore. "No. I know Thasmudyan and he wouldn't do that to you," Sanria said.
"Listen, you have been hurt.  We need to get you more help," Colin said.
"He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you, Maya."
"You should try  to save your strength.  There will be time to talk more  about this later."

Colin was right. "We should take her into town.  There should be healers  that can help her at the temples."  Sanria stood as Colin lifted Maya in his arms. 
"It's not mine, not really," Maya sobbed. "He laid with me wanting you... Its.... really your ....baby."
"No.  No that isn't true," Sanria would not allow herself to believe it.
"Take it away, before I di....die..."
"He wouldn't have  been with you without affection for you.  I... I know  him, Maya."

Colin looked at Maya, his voice authoritative, "Maya, you must save your  strength."  He looked over at Sanria, his face tired, angry, frustrated. "I can take her if you can just send us.  I will make sure she is seen."

With a nod, Sanria  envisioned the Temple of Lathander, and with a quick spell, sent the two on their way. She slowly retreated back to the cavern with a  deep sigh.  She couldn't picture Thasmudyan =not= loving Maya if  he slept with her, she  couldn't picture him using her.  And why had all this happened tonight?

It was a  long time before  Colin arrived back at the cavern.  He seemed little  willing to speak about Maya, preferring  to tell Sanria that the woman was safe, would  be fine, and that she had claimed  Thasmudyan had poisoned  her.  Sanria looked back at him incredulously, a look that was mirrored on  Colin's face.  Thasmudyan  poisoning  someone  was about as  likely as Orn  turning into a butterfly.  Something wasn't right, but it was  nothing Sanria could worry  about at that moment.  She settled into Colin's arms as he let out a long exhale and drifted off to sleep.

Sanria laid there a long time in the dark, Colin seeming to clutch her to him in his sleep.  She  watched his face betray a range of dreaming emotions. She felt there was something more that he knew, something that he was not telling her.  Sanria sighed and settled her head into the  crook of his arm. Things would get better, no matter whether there were secrets or not.  There was no other choice.  They had to.