Sanria kissed Matinus on the head, the boy sitting on the couch with her so long, reading his heart out until he had fallen asleep. She slipped from his side, covering him with the light blanket that lay on the back of the sofa and quietly ascended the stairs. She found Kaliadra sitting up in Matinus' bed, looking out the window. "He's burying him," she said without turning around. Sanria walked in and looked out of the window, then sat on the edge of the bed.
"How are you, Kaliadra?"
The elven woman turned to look at Sanria, her face seeming worn and tired. "How are we, you mean?"
"I suppose that would be a good starting point."
"We can't die, Sanria."
"I feared that."
"I don't know how to get this spell off of me, and if I can not, we are in for a long road of eternal suffering. I am afraid all the sorcerers I knew are either dead or vanished beyond all reaching."
"Perhaps we don't have to suffer?"
Kaliadra smirked and Sanria looked down. "I felt it, you know? When you were down there with Colin. He recalls, does he not?"
"Yes," Sanria sighed quietly. "He does."
"What will you do?"
"I married Gilean, didn't I?"
"Yes. That you did. But you are not known for keeping yourself away from Colin in any reliable fashion."
"I'll have to. Gilean has been so hurt - first with Claire and that whole Ruthivan business, then with Velentham..."
Sanria stopped and stared at her lap. "Kaliadra, I'm pregnant with his child."
"I'm sorry."
"What do I do? Do I keep this in penance for all the young lives I have lost? Or do I get rid of it to keep myself from possibly hating a child?"
"You would not hate it, Sanria," Kaliadra said, giving a half smile.
"You have never managed to hate a child, even the ones that might be deserving of it."
"But what about Gilean?"
"Perhaps you should ask him his opinion?"
Sanria continued staring, her eyes leaving her lap and falling onto the carpeted floor. She let out a deep sigh. "Kaliadra, I'm sorry."
"For?"
"Everything. Driving you insane, making you feel all my pain."
"We cannot control what we feel, Sanria," Kaliadra sighed and looked back out the window. "We can only do the best we can do."
"Somehow I feel that I should be able to do better than what I have."
"Mmm. Perhaps. This may be your opportunity."
"What do you mean?"
"You have a boy who has adopted you as his mother, a husband who is sick with worry that you are going to leave him - "
Sanria looked up at Kaliadra. "What?"
"There are things I can feel that you cannot, and that man digging the hole is terrified that he has lost you to Colin already."
"He... is?"
"And, I should add," she said, turning her eyes onto Sanria, "Your daughter knew I was a wolf without my being a wolf."
"Nioma?"
"It seems she has some aptitude after all, what use it will be remains to be seen."
