"You... still feel that strongly?" Sanria asked, and for a moment, she gave over to a tinge of regret. Colin's fears rang in her mind...
"I'll explain. It's the sort of thing that, since it's shared between two people... whether you feel anything depends a lot on how you go about it. Maybe this other woman who kidnapped Colin was being selfish, and just focused on herself. But if she focused on him, and really loved him.. it'd be harder for him to feel nothing, if that makes sense. As for me, well... I'm just that sort of person who doesn't do things half-assed. If we were to do ...that... I'd want to be sure you enjoyed it."
The implication of the message was not grasped by Sanria. Had she listened, she might have heard the underlying message beneath. Thasmudyan was not Arlenia. But her own nerves rattling kept her from catching what might have slowed her decision.
"I suppose I will just have to accept what he says..."
"It's up to you."
"Well... I came to you with my thoughts and my offer. But if it's asking too much... I understand."
"No... you don't ask too much."
Sanria could feel the desire riding on the connection they still shared from their previous healing encounter. It was hard not to absorb it and mix it with her own. "I don't want to pressure you into anything," Thasmudyan said, as though sensing her mind.
"I didn't want to do the same to you."
"I think you'll find that won't be a problem."
Sanria looked at Thasmudyan, her heart racing. She did not know this man, she did not remember their past together. Had she remembered, she might have avoided being healed. Had she remembered, she might have known what seemed to inevitably follow such times. But - she didn't remember, and that night she found herself with a stranger that her mind didn't know - but her body certainly did.
Discussions
The observatory was where she found Thasmudyan, staring out over the lands from the large windows. "I... it didn't work," she began.
"How do you know?"
"A woman knows her own body," Sanria said with a chuckle. "Thank you for trying."
"Of course.. you're always welcome."
She studied him for a long moment and could tell that something wasn't right. "I've been.. feeling weaker," he finally told her, and the proposition that Sanria had come to offer suddenly seemed unfair.
"Weaker... from healing me?" she asked.
"Not from you.. just... in general." Thasmudyan shook his head as he looked out the window. "Might be something to do with how long I was in the Lifestream. But, I was fine for a while.. this only started recently."
"Do you think you need to go back?"
"...Maybe."
"I'm not sure where it is, but maybe Colin can help take you back?"
"I know the way. Perhaps I will go another day. For now, though... I am fine, really."
There was no way Sanria could ask him knowing he was weakened. She turned to go and he reached out, setting the butterflies in her stomach loose, "You don't need to go."
"I came up here to talk to you about certain things but you said you hadn't been feeling yourself. I think perhaps it's fate telling me that those things are best left unspoken."
"Don't mistake me. I'm still myself.. just concerned a bit, that's all. You're still welcome to talk about, well, whatever it was you wanted to talk about."
"It was about, well... you said that we'd made pregnancies go faster before by... you know..."
She knew immediately that he had not anticipated what she came to say. "I did... and likely they would..." Thasmudyan recovered.
"I just... I talked to Colin about it and though he doesn't agree... He thinks it might be very unfair to you. And that if my body remembered him... mine might remember you as well." Sanria let out a breathless chuckle. "He's very jealous."
"...I was thinking it'd be unfair to him. He's your husband, after all."
"Right. Unfair... to him," Sanria said, her mind on Arlenia.
"Well, why would he think it's unfair to me?"
"That I would not be able to be with you. To be together that way might raise your expectations."
"Perhaps so. I don't ...expect anything, though."
It suddenly came tumbling from Sanria's mouth - unbidden. The pain and hurt riding side by side with the realization of what she was asking, "He was kidnapped not long before you showed up. To get away from her, he slept with her. I heard them together... I have to know... I have to know if you can do something like that and not love who you do that with. I don't know you... and..." Sanria lowered her head. "I don't understand how you can do something like that and feel nothing, like he says. So I want you to help me understand. Only if you... want to. This is incredibly selfish of me to ask. I just..."
"I don't think it's selfish so much as you simply want to understand."
"Then... what do you think?"
"I think that the problem is that I might want to try and make you feel something."
"How do you know?"
"A woman knows her own body," Sanria said with a chuckle. "Thank you for trying."
"Of course.. you're always welcome."
She studied him for a long moment and could tell that something wasn't right. "I've been.. feeling weaker," he finally told her, and the proposition that Sanria had come to offer suddenly seemed unfair.
"Weaker... from healing me?" she asked.
"Not from you.. just... in general." Thasmudyan shook his head as he looked out the window. "Might be something to do with how long I was in the Lifestream. But, I was fine for a while.. this only started recently."
"Do you think you need to go back?"
"...Maybe."
"I'm not sure where it is, but maybe Colin can help take you back?"
"I know the way. Perhaps I will go another day. For now, though... I am fine, really."
There was no way Sanria could ask him knowing he was weakened. She turned to go and he reached out, setting the butterflies in her stomach loose, "You don't need to go."
"I came up here to talk to you about certain things but you said you hadn't been feeling yourself. I think perhaps it's fate telling me that those things are best left unspoken."
"Don't mistake me. I'm still myself.. just concerned a bit, that's all. You're still welcome to talk about, well, whatever it was you wanted to talk about."
"It was about, well... you said that we'd made pregnancies go faster before by... you know..."
She knew immediately that he had not anticipated what she came to say. "I did... and likely they would..." Thasmudyan recovered.
"I just... I talked to Colin about it and though he doesn't agree... He thinks it might be very unfair to you. And that if my body remembered him... mine might remember you as well." Sanria let out a breathless chuckle. "He's very jealous."
"...I was thinking it'd be unfair to him. He's your husband, after all."
"Right. Unfair... to him," Sanria said, her mind on Arlenia.
"Well, why would he think it's unfair to me?"
"That I would not be able to be with you. To be together that way might raise your expectations."
"Perhaps so. I don't ...expect anything, though."
It suddenly came tumbling from Sanria's mouth - unbidden. The pain and hurt riding side by side with the realization of what she was asking, "He was kidnapped not long before you showed up. To get away from her, he slept with her. I heard them together... I have to know... I have to know if you can do something like that and not love who you do that with. I don't know you... and..." Sanria lowered her head. "I don't understand how you can do something like that and feel nothing, like he says. So I want you to help me understand. Only if you... want to. This is incredibly selfish of me to ask. I just..."
"I don't think it's selfish so much as you simply want to understand."
"Then... what do you think?"
"I think that the problem is that I might want to try and make you feel something."
Old Habits
Sanria chatted with Colin about the healing, noting immediately the drawn look on Colin's face. She knew he didn't like the idea of Thasmudyan touching her in that way, moreso because of the threat to the peace in the cavern. She knew he was afraid of losing her again, but Sanria knew there just wasn't a way it could happen. She wouldn't leave Colin for a man she didn't know.
They chatted then about Colin's jealousies and it brought up her own. How could he be jealous of her? What had she done compared to the night she spent in the hut - listening to him with Arlenia? Still, he could not make her understand just how someone could do that with another person and claim they felt nothing. Even to free themselves. How was it possible?
The idea surrounded the bug that Thasmudyan had inadvertently planted in her mind. She could feel that nothing in her body had changed, even after the healing. She looked at Colin and proposed an idea that even she couldn't believe... she would speed up the pregnancy and be granted the ability to understand. She would sleep with Thasmudyan.
Colin seemed absolutely incredulous and against the idea, no matter how much Sanria positioned the point that she just couldn't understand. She couldn't. She had tried but the night listening to Arlenia and Colin just wouldn't leave. If she didn't gain understanding, she wouldn't be able to keep going. If she couldn't believe Colin, what kind of marriage did they have?
Perhaps understanding would at least buy her time. It would stop the creeping shadow of the wall from overtaking her new life. It would be one less thing eating at her soul, gnawing on her mind. Though Colin refused, he left the choice with her. Though Sanria thought she might not take it, the next day she found herself standing in a room with Thasmudyan, unable to hide her nerves from him.
They chatted then about Colin's jealousies and it brought up her own. How could he be jealous of her? What had she done compared to the night she spent in the hut - listening to him with Arlenia? Still, he could not make her understand just how someone could do that with another person and claim they felt nothing. Even to free themselves. How was it possible?
The idea surrounded the bug that Thasmudyan had inadvertently planted in her mind. She could feel that nothing in her body had changed, even after the healing. She looked at Colin and proposed an idea that even she couldn't believe... she would speed up the pregnancy and be granted the ability to understand. She would sleep with Thasmudyan.
Colin seemed absolutely incredulous and against the idea, no matter how much Sanria positioned the point that she just couldn't understand. She couldn't. She had tried but the night listening to Arlenia and Colin just wouldn't leave. If she didn't gain understanding, she wouldn't be able to keep going. If she couldn't believe Colin, what kind of marriage did they have?
Perhaps understanding would at least buy her time. It would stop the creeping shadow of the wall from overtaking her new life. It would be one less thing eating at her soul, gnawing on her mind. Though Colin refused, he left the choice with her. Though Sanria thought she might not take it, the next day she found herself standing in a room with Thasmudyan, unable to hide her nerves from him.
Clockwork (2)
The next day had dawned, but for Velentham, the next day was merely the next moment in a long line of nothing. As soon as he felt the light shaking at his side, as soon as his eyes opened to see Gilean leaning over him, reality flooded back with painful acuity. "FATHER!" he screamed.
"Velentham... I'm sorry. Try to keep your voice down. We aren't exactly out yet."
Velentham stared at Gilean, his eyes narrowing. The hatred he felt within him for the priest was at the fore. For Velentham, the fault that his father was not here rested solely - squarely - on the shoulders of the lesser Celestial. Still, the priest was right, and Velentham got to his feet, attempting to finish what his father started. "Without a portal we won't get in even if we spent all day climbing," Velentham said, staring in the distance at the tall spire atop which sat the City of Sigil.
"We're out of the hells though. There must be a way for us to proceed."
"Yes. Just... let me think for a moment." Velentham sighed into a whisper, "We needed you, father."
"Velentham... you are strong and your father believed in you. You can do this, and I will help you."
"Come," Velentham said. "We will fly east. We should find a city along the edge of the plane that will have a portal up."
Indeed, after flying only moments and at high speed, the City of Automata rose up before them. They landed at the gates and a gnomish guard in full regalia stepped before them. "Be ye friend or foe?"
"Friend, of course," Velentham said with a deep bow. "We have no ill intent, we simply need a portal to Sigil."
"I'm just looking to return home," Gilean said.
"Very well. Center of the city. Mind that you touch nothing you don't understand."
"You have our word."
The tiny guard opened the gate to reveal a city that seemed to rotate on giant cog wheels. Everything was mechanized, including the street sweepers that moved along with jerking, halting movements. There was absolutely nothing natural, and to punctuate their differences, the first words from Velentham's mouth were, "It's hideous," while Gilean said, "Wow, impressive."
They ended up walking into the main square, more of a circle than square, as the entire contraption rotated on cogs which revealed and disguised a myriad of doors. A woman sat on the bench that rotated along with the fountain in the center, contentedly reading, and it was to her that Velentham turned on his charm. "Greetings, madame. I was wondering if you could point my friend and I in the direction of the portal to Sigil?"
Velentham felt the familiar tingle through he body as he sent wave after wave of charming energies toward the woman. Helpless, she replied with a coquettish smile, "Wait three full turns and the door to the north will appear once more. Would you like to sit here with me and wait?" Velentham pulled himself up to his full height and began to bow but was halted by Gilean stepping in front of him.
"Thank you," Gilean said. "That's very kind of you. We will just wait over there."
Velentham, thwarted, gave a polite bow to the woman before following Gilean to the other side of the square. "There's really no need to influence people like that," Gilean said. "It's a bad habit to get into."
"There was no need for you to interfere. You have a bad habit of doing that, too, you know."
"People are entitled to their free will. You shouldn't interfere with that just because you can. Not unless it's necessary."
"Well I did nothing to her that wouldn't have naturally happened," Velentham said with a shrug. "I can't help what I am."
"Yes, but you don't have to encourage it. You can restrain yourself. Learn to minimize the impact. You do have control over yourself."
"You aren't my father. I don't need your guidance."
Paying no further attention to Gilean's words, Velentham rose at the first sight of the Sigil portal as it clicked into place. "There. Come on, before it vanishes again."
The two men rose and entered the door, finding themselves almost immediately in a new place. Whether or not it was Sigil remained to be seen.
"Velentham... I'm sorry. Try to keep your voice down. We aren't exactly out yet."
Velentham stared at Gilean, his eyes narrowing. The hatred he felt within him for the priest was at the fore. For Velentham, the fault that his father was not here rested solely - squarely - on the shoulders of the lesser Celestial. Still, the priest was right, and Velentham got to his feet, attempting to finish what his father started. "Without a portal we won't get in even if we spent all day climbing," Velentham said, staring in the distance at the tall spire atop which sat the City of Sigil.
"We're out of the hells though. There must be a way for us to proceed."
"Yes. Just... let me think for a moment." Velentham sighed into a whisper, "We needed you, father."
"Velentham... you are strong and your father believed in you. You can do this, and I will help you."
"Come," Velentham said. "We will fly east. We should find a city along the edge of the plane that will have a portal up."
Indeed, after flying only moments and at high speed, the City of Automata rose up before them. They landed at the gates and a gnomish guard in full regalia stepped before them. "Be ye friend or foe?"
"Friend, of course," Velentham said with a deep bow. "We have no ill intent, we simply need a portal to Sigil."
"I'm just looking to return home," Gilean said.
"Very well. Center of the city. Mind that you touch nothing you don't understand."
"You have our word."
The tiny guard opened the gate to reveal a city that seemed to rotate on giant cog wheels. Everything was mechanized, including the street sweepers that moved along with jerking, halting movements. There was absolutely nothing natural, and to punctuate their differences, the first words from Velentham's mouth were, "It's hideous," while Gilean said, "Wow, impressive."
They ended up walking into the main square, more of a circle than square, as the entire contraption rotated on cogs which revealed and disguised a myriad of doors. A woman sat on the bench that rotated along with the fountain in the center, contentedly reading, and it was to her that Velentham turned on his charm. "Greetings, madame. I was wondering if you could point my friend and I in the direction of the portal to Sigil?"
Velentham felt the familiar tingle through he body as he sent wave after wave of charming energies toward the woman. Helpless, she replied with a coquettish smile, "Wait three full turns and the door to the north will appear once more. Would you like to sit here with me and wait?" Velentham pulled himself up to his full height and began to bow but was halted by Gilean stepping in front of him.
"Thank you," Gilean said. "That's very kind of you. We will just wait over there."
Velentham, thwarted, gave a polite bow to the woman before following Gilean to the other side of the square. "There's really no need to influence people like that," Gilean said. "It's a bad habit to get into."
"There was no need for you to interfere. You have a bad habit of doing that, too, you know."
"People are entitled to their free will. You shouldn't interfere with that just because you can. Not unless it's necessary."
"Well I did nothing to her that wouldn't have naturally happened," Velentham said with a shrug. "I can't help what I am."
"Yes, but you don't have to encourage it. You can restrain yourself. Learn to minimize the impact. You do have control over yourself."
"You aren't my father. I don't need your guidance."
Paying no further attention to Gilean's words, Velentham rose at the first sight of the Sigil portal as it clicked into place. "There. Come on, before it vanishes again."
The two men rose and entered the door, finding themselves almost immediately in a new place. Whether or not it was Sigil remained to be seen.
Anguish
Only Gilean prevented Velentham from rushing after his father. Unfathomable pain, anguish so profound it made his chest ache, Velentham could only let out an animal cry of fury. Asmodeus' black shade recoiled for only a moment before seeming to digest the insignificant flare that exploded in his heart. Tears of rage and grief filled his eyes as the shade began to fill the entirety of the chasm. At last, Asmodeus began to take his shape as an absolutely massive hell lord. There was nothing left but to obey - Velentham roared out his hatred and changed direction - speeding for the portal to the Outlands.
Behind him, Gilean sent Blackblood careening with a ray of light toward the heart of Asmodeus. It connected, slowing the hell lord enough to allow both Gilean and Velentham to pass through the portal. With nothing to block them, the two rocketed over the town of Ribcage - causing an outcry of anger from the denizens that flocked there - and sailed far beyond into the forests.
Exhaustion, pain, rage, frustration - each took their turn filling Velentham to the brim. He collapsed on the ground, howling and sobbing. He had lost the one being that would have done everything for him - did - everything for him. At Gilean's touch, he wheeled, snarling. "You... this is because of you... you did this... you made him sacrifice himself..."
"He made his choice... for you. Everything he did... he did for you."
Velentham knew it was true. He gripped the amulets around his neck, the last possession of his father and the only one he had left. "He put this on me so I could focus... once he took it off... he couldn't keep himself from doing what he did."
"He knew... he knew what would happen," Gilean said almost absently.
"Of course he did... he waited til the last to give this to me... he kept me in a stupor... so I wouldn't fight."
"Your father was a great man," Gilean said. "It falls to you to honor his greatness. Be the man he has always wanted you to be and he will live on in you."
Velentham slumped to the ground, clutching the amulets in his hands as he sobbed. Sleep, as always, dutifully covered him - forcing his exhaustion to quiet him and slip into dreamless slumber amidst the forested floor.
Behind him, Gilean sent Blackblood careening with a ray of light toward the heart of Asmodeus. It connected, slowing the hell lord enough to allow both Gilean and Velentham to pass through the portal. With nothing to block them, the two rocketed over the town of Ribcage - causing an outcry of anger from the denizens that flocked there - and sailed far beyond into the forests.
Exhaustion, pain, rage, frustration - each took their turn filling Velentham to the brim. He collapsed on the ground, howling and sobbing. He had lost the one being that would have done everything for him - did - everything for him. At Gilean's touch, he wheeled, snarling. "You... this is because of you... you did this... you made him sacrifice himself..."
"He made his choice... for you. Everything he did... he did for you."
Velentham knew it was true. He gripped the amulets around his neck, the last possession of his father and the only one he had left. "He put this on me so I could focus... once he took it off... he couldn't keep himself from doing what he did."
"He knew... he knew what would happen," Gilean said almost absently.
"Of course he did... he waited til the last to give this to me... he kept me in a stupor... so I wouldn't fight."
"Your father was a great man," Gilean said. "It falls to you to honor his greatness. Be the man he has always wanted you to be and he will live on in you."
Velentham slumped to the ground, clutching the amulets in his hands as he sobbed. Sleep, as always, dutifully covered him - forcing his exhaustion to quiet him and slip into dreamless slumber amidst the forested floor.
Speeding Things Along (1-2)
Sanria's mind tripped along the narrow line between the requests Colin had made of her, and the desire that sat coiled at in the pit of her stomach. Give up remembering or try to find a way to get everything in her old life back. She tired of the darkness - the looming black wall. She tired of the dreams - the green eyes and the man that accompanied them. If she could remember, perhaps the dreams would stop and the darkness would lift. Given what she knew now, she could fix her life and be able to know people she once knew.
In the sitting room, the thought hit her once again that she could approach Thasmudyan about speeding up her pregnancy. Colin didn't want her to do that either. He had expressed his fears - the idea that her ex-husband might be able to get her to remember not only her past, but him, was more than Colin wanted to think about. But Sanria's mind began to turn. It was possible to get nearer to this man she didn't remember by asking him to speed her pregnancy, then perhaps he would aid her in getting back her memories.
She found Thasmudyan in the library bent over the desk, writing. She had absolutely no recollection of the man at all, nor the child they had together lifetimes ago. She did find him handsome, but as for anything else - it was just as dark as everything else from her past. "Can I ask you a question? A favor, actually?" Sanria asked after approaching him.
"Of course. What's on your mind?"
"I... do you think... I would really like for Orn to have a sibling that ages with him and I... Do you think you could make this child like him?"
"You mean..."
"I - don't mean to intrude upon your abilities. Colin said I shouldn't bother you with it. I just... I don't know what you did before that made Orn grow like he has..."
"Well.. to focus the power is quite draining. I'd be fine, of course.."
"Then let's help Leandra grow," Sanria said, holding her hand out to him.
It worried her when Thasmudyan hesitated and wore an uncertain expression on his face. "Is everything alright?" she asked.
"Well, there is something else... It's a rather ...intimate experience."
"How do you mean?"
"We develop a sort of empathy for each other... I can feel what you feel, and vice versa."
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't really remember anything. My day consists of the joy of a babbling brook, my son..."
"I'm not so sure you want to hear what goes around in my head, though..."
"Well... try me."
The blush that spread over Thasmudyan's cheeks, though faint, was enough to get Sanria to notice. Her curiosity was piqued, but something told her to give the man a way out. "I'm sorry. I suppose even you have things you don't wish to share. It's... alright."
"No, it's alright... just reminded me that there's another way to get the effect you're after... but it'd be inappropriate."
"What way? Please, you can say anything. I'll take no offense."
"You're married," he replied with a soft chuckle.
Sanria knew she was close to an answer of sorts. "Yes, but... I don't know how it could prevent you from speaking words..."
"So you're right. I can still speak words, can't I? Well, since you asked. My power gets released, unintentionally, when I... well, when I have sex with someone. In fact, it's already happened before, with Tarran."
"You had sex with Tarran? You'll have to forgive me, I don't know the name so I'm not sure if I should be... well... what I should think."
The look on Thasmudyan's face let Sanria know she was on the wrong track. "He's your son," the man replied.
"Oh...," Sanria replied, thoroughly embarassed. "I... well... I forget that I have more than Orn sometimes..."
"Not mine, though, but while you were pregnant with him, we... well, you know."
It struck Sanria hard. The woman in her past was definitely worlds apart from who she was now. The idea that she had cheated on her husband before her husband before this husband... "Perhaps we should... just start with healing me..."
"Yes, that's probably best..." Thasmudyan replied.
Sanria led Thasmudyan out to the stream beside the cavern and sat by the water's edge. The place was special to her - all the wonderful moments with Orn were spent here - watching the boy as he grew. It only seemed fitting to speed Leandra along here too. They would grow up close together, even if magic made them grow faster. "What do I need to do?" she asked.
"You don't need to do anything. Just take my hand."
Sanria did as told, feeling odd as Thasmudyan intertwined his fingers with hers. The man closed his eyes and Sanria took the time to look over his face. She could remember nothing of him. Nothing at all. The dark wall confronted her each time she tried to step backward in time. It was -
The sudden rush of healing life energy that blew through her was incredible, and took Sanria's breath away. It was as though every cell in her body was vibrating at the frequency of light, each in tune with the other, each in perfect concert with every other living thing around her. By the time it ended and they parted, Sanria could feel the affection the man held for her - and could feel her own body remembering something her mind could not.
In the sitting room, the thought hit her once again that she could approach Thasmudyan about speeding up her pregnancy. Colin didn't want her to do that either. He had expressed his fears - the idea that her ex-husband might be able to get her to remember not only her past, but him, was more than Colin wanted to think about. But Sanria's mind began to turn. It was possible to get nearer to this man she didn't remember by asking him to speed her pregnancy, then perhaps he would aid her in getting back her memories.
She found Thasmudyan in the library bent over the desk, writing. She had absolutely no recollection of the man at all, nor the child they had together lifetimes ago. She did find him handsome, but as for anything else - it was just as dark as everything else from her past. "Can I ask you a question? A favor, actually?" Sanria asked after approaching him.
"Of course. What's on your mind?"
"I... do you think... I would really like for Orn to have a sibling that ages with him and I... Do you think you could make this child like him?"
"You mean..."
"I - don't mean to intrude upon your abilities. Colin said I shouldn't bother you with it. I just... I don't know what you did before that made Orn grow like he has..."
"Well.. to focus the power is quite draining. I'd be fine, of course.."
"Then let's help Leandra grow," Sanria said, holding her hand out to him.
It worried her when Thasmudyan hesitated and wore an uncertain expression on his face. "Is everything alright?" she asked.
"Well, there is something else... It's a rather ...intimate experience."
"How do you mean?"
"We develop a sort of empathy for each other... I can feel what you feel, and vice versa."
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't really remember anything. My day consists of the joy of a babbling brook, my son..."
"I'm not so sure you want to hear what goes around in my head, though..."
"Well... try me."
The blush that spread over Thasmudyan's cheeks, though faint, was enough to get Sanria to notice. Her curiosity was piqued, but something told her to give the man a way out. "I'm sorry. I suppose even you have things you don't wish to share. It's... alright."
"No, it's alright... just reminded me that there's another way to get the effect you're after... but it'd be inappropriate."
"What way? Please, you can say anything. I'll take no offense."
"You're married," he replied with a soft chuckle.
Sanria knew she was close to an answer of sorts. "Yes, but... I don't know how it could prevent you from speaking words..."
"So you're right. I can still speak words, can't I? Well, since you asked. My power gets released, unintentionally, when I... well, when I have sex with someone. In fact, it's already happened before, with Tarran."
"You had sex with Tarran? You'll have to forgive me, I don't know the name so I'm not sure if I should be... well... what I should think."
The look on Thasmudyan's face let Sanria know she was on the wrong track. "He's your son," the man replied.
"Oh...," Sanria replied, thoroughly embarassed. "I... well... I forget that I have more than Orn sometimes..."
"Not mine, though, but while you were pregnant with him, we... well, you know."
It struck Sanria hard. The woman in her past was definitely worlds apart from who she was now. The idea that she had cheated on her husband before her husband before this husband... "Perhaps we should... just start with healing me..."
"Yes, that's probably best..." Thasmudyan replied.
Sanria led Thasmudyan out to the stream beside the cavern and sat by the water's edge. The place was special to her - all the wonderful moments with Orn were spent here - watching the boy as he grew. It only seemed fitting to speed Leandra along here too. They would grow up close together, even if magic made them grow faster. "What do I need to do?" she asked.
"You don't need to do anything. Just take my hand."
Sanria did as told, feeling odd as Thasmudyan intertwined his fingers with hers. The man closed his eyes and Sanria took the time to look over his face. She could remember nothing of him. Nothing at all. The dark wall confronted her each time she tried to step backward in time. It was -
The sudden rush of healing life energy that blew through her was incredible, and took Sanria's breath away. It was as though every cell in her body was vibrating at the frequency of light, each in tune with the other, each in perfect concert with every other living thing around her. By the time it ended and they parted, Sanria could feel the affection the man held for her - and could feel her own body remembering something her mind could not.
Like a Good Hostess
No sooner had Sanria offered Thasmudyan a place to stay, than Colin asked if he was still staying at Throm's. "Colin... Throm is dead... I don't really think it's appropriate for him to return to a dead man's home." She stood before Thasmudyan. "You are welcome to stay here for as long as you need."
Sanria had already walked behind the falls before realizing that Colin and Thasmudyan were still standing behind. She peered from the falls, watching as the men, unnoticed, spoke in low tones. She turned away with a deep sigh. She could not hear them, but she could only imagine. From the start, Colin had been behaving as though he were afraid. Afraid of what, she did not know, but Sanria could not help but feel as if she were being protected once more.
Once inside, when Colin had found himself looking after Orn, Sanria sat with Thasmudyan in the kitchen. The man was ravenous, but that did not concern Sanria. What she wanted to know was how after all his deaths, he managed to remember where she was left with nothing. To this, there was no answer, and a new concern cropped up. "Thasmudyan, why didn't he tell me I was engaged to Throm?"
"You'd have to ask him that."
"Ask who what?" Colin asked as he walked into the kitchen.
"... nothing," Sanria replied.
The conversation when back immediately to the lifestream, how Thasmudyan had been in it, how he had closed a hole, that Brin and Visha had vanished after it all. It drove Sanria mad. She could not remember, she could not join the conversation. At long last, Sanria looked over at Thasmudyan. "You are a healer," she began. "Can you help me remember?"
"Sanria," Colin chided. "What about what the druids said?"
Like a cowed child, Sanria rose. Colin did not wan her to remember anything. He was happy with where they were, but no matter how hard she tried, Sanria couldn't be. The black wall was sitting there, just as impenetrable as ever. She excused herself in a deep frustration, opting to keep her thoughts to herself as well as her desire to return to her former understandings.
Sanria had already walked behind the falls before realizing that Colin and Thasmudyan were still standing behind. She peered from the falls, watching as the men, unnoticed, spoke in low tones. She turned away with a deep sigh. She could not hear them, but she could only imagine. From the start, Colin had been behaving as though he were afraid. Afraid of what, she did not know, but Sanria could not help but feel as if she were being protected once more.
Once inside, when Colin had found himself looking after Orn, Sanria sat with Thasmudyan in the kitchen. The man was ravenous, but that did not concern Sanria. What she wanted to know was how after all his deaths, he managed to remember where she was left with nothing. To this, there was no answer, and a new concern cropped up. "Thasmudyan, why didn't he tell me I was engaged to Throm?"
"You'd have to ask him that."
"Ask who what?" Colin asked as he walked into the kitchen.
"... nothing," Sanria replied.
The conversation when back immediately to the lifestream, how Thasmudyan had been in it, how he had closed a hole, that Brin and Visha had vanished after it all. It drove Sanria mad. She could not remember, she could not join the conversation. At long last, Sanria looked over at Thasmudyan. "You are a healer," she began. "Can you help me remember?"
"Sanria," Colin chided. "What about what the druids said?"
Like a cowed child, Sanria rose. Colin did not wan her to remember anything. He was happy with where they were, but no matter how hard she tried, Sanria couldn't be. The black wall was sitting there, just as impenetrable as ever. She excused herself in a deep frustration, opting to keep her thoughts to herself as well as her desire to return to her former understandings.
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