She had done everything- called off her engagement, kept away from Gilean, checked in on Colin only when he was already half asleep, and stayed away from Thasmudyan completely. Still, Sanria sat in front of Enmach with a pensive stare at the parchment on her desk, writing mindlessly as she spoke.
"I didn't bring anything up other than his letter, that's all."
"Sanria - don't you believe there is more to discuss?"
"No, Enmach. And neither did he. Ror was quite comfortable to keep things business and I won't look the part of the weepy woman sharing her feelings."
Sanria heard the scowl- the huff of breath, the push back into the leather chair. "I still believe you should have told him."
"Why?" Sanria asked, laying the quill down. She looked at Enmach, her face calm and emotionless. "What good would that do?" Enmach grumbled and shook her head. "You humans are foolish and stubborn. You want want want- friendship, love, companionship- and when things don't go your way, you pretend none of it matters and that you have armor wrapped around the heart in your chest. It's idiocy."
"I'm sorry we disappoint you," Sanria said frankly.
"I will not be baited," Enmach answered cooly.
"Then I'll finish this letter to the other leaders and let them meet with Ror to discuss further his ideas for the school and theater in Westbridge. As far as my personal ties to Ror, we have severed those and they no longer matter."
"You truly believe he felt nothing and you felt nothing?"
"He ate his soup and again started asking after someone from my past."
"Who?"
"Kaliadra."
"I see."
"So, no. I don't think he felt anything. As to myself, I've already told you I'm not going to spread my personal feelings around with one who is uninterested."
"I'm interested."
Sanria looked up, narrowing her eyes at Enmach, who sat with a demure grin. "I agree with him in regards to education and the arts." Sanria looked back to her parchment and started writing again. She kept writing even though a flash of bright light indicated she was alone once again. Only when she finished did she turn her chair to face the window, staring out over the floating island, seeing it without seeing it.
Deja Vu
There is another crack and spark of bright light, causing the man to start and jerk upright, well as much as he can, before wincing in pain. He feels wetness on his face, and then he hears it, rain. Calming slightly he pulls his leg off the roots and swivels to rest his back on the tree and begins to examine the bandages. Thinking to himself, "No time to rebandage my legs, Ive got to find shelter." as the downfall of rain increases.
Looking around intently searching for some form of shelter he doesnt see any, however he starts to feel deja vu, again thinking to himself "Have I been here before? Why does this place look familiar?" Trying to pull himself to his feet, only to fall back down again groaning in pain, he looks skyward into the fall of rain. Looking back at his surroundings wondering why of all places he could have appeared this feels familiar.
Noticing a small animal trail he begins to crawl towards it, rain spattering his face as he drags himself towards it. Gasping for breath as he reaches the path he pauses for a minute, looking toward the sky again, "This place is familiar to me, I must have been here before." he turns toward the east facing a gentle sloped hill.
Pulling himself along, all the while grimacing at the pain, he heads toward the top of the slope as if he were called there.
Looking around intently searching for some form of shelter he doesnt see any, however he starts to feel deja vu, again thinking to himself "Have I been here before? Why does this place look familiar?" Trying to pull himself to his feet, only to fall back down again groaning in pain, he looks skyward into the fall of rain. Looking back at his surroundings wondering why of all places he could have appeared this feels familiar.
Noticing a small animal trail he begins to crawl towards it, rain spattering his face as he drags himself towards it. Gasping for breath as he reaches the path he pauses for a minute, looking toward the sky again, "This place is familiar to me, I must have been here before." he turns toward the east facing a gentle sloped hill.
Pulling himself along, all the while grimacing at the pain, he heads toward the top of the slope as if he were called there.
The Return
The wind is calmly blowing on this seemingly normal day, the wildlife in the holy grove happily play and frolic. A deer lifts its head and looks around as if it was startled by something. The rest of the deer in the immediate vicinity follow suit and shortly after bolt in every direction.
Suddenly there is a crackling and the spark of bright light, a man appears seemingly out of nowhere and lands on their feet, only to immediately collapse onto the ground. Gasping for breath momentarily disoriented, pain suddenly hits, acutely focusing his senses on the location of the injuries causing a scream to well within and release.
With pained words he shouts, "Help!" Looking around seeing only forest he grasps at his legs, blood soaking his hands and trowsers, he groans, "oh goddess it hurts." Thoughts rush through his head, forcing himself to concentrate, he rips off his cloak and starts tearing at the ragged strips making them longer. Bandaging his legs up the best he can, stemming the flow of blood, he mutters to himself, "I hope this can stop it for awhile, Ive no idea where I am."
He crawls to the nearest tree and lifts his legs up on some roots wincing as another flood of pain hits him causing him to pass out.
Suddenly there is a crackling and the spark of bright light, a man appears seemingly out of nowhere and lands on their feet, only to immediately collapse onto the ground. Gasping for breath momentarily disoriented, pain suddenly hits, acutely focusing his senses on the location of the injuries causing a scream to well within and release.
With pained words he shouts, "Help!" Looking around seeing only forest he grasps at his legs, blood soaking his hands and trowsers, he groans, "oh goddess it hurts." Thoughts rush through his head, forcing himself to concentrate, he rips off his cloak and starts tearing at the ragged strips making them longer. Bandaging his legs up the best he can, stemming the flow of blood, he mutters to himself, "I hope this can stop it for awhile, Ive no idea where I am."
He crawls to the nearest tree and lifts his legs up on some roots wincing as another flood of pain hits him causing him to pass out.
Mrs. Gilean Eosos?
"And so he asked you?" Enmach said, her expression patient as she paced the small section of the library where Sanria had holed herself up. Sanria sat in the chair, her feet tucked beneath her, a closed book on her lap. This wasn't what she had in mind when telling Enmach the news, the silver skinned companion hounding her for answers. Sanria felt as though she were reporting to her mother.
"Yes. He did ask me."
"Sanria, I have to advise against this. I truly do." Emach finally sat down, giving Sanria the chance to rest her eyes on a still being.
"What am I supposed to do, Enmach? Why wait? What am I waiting for?"
"Time and distance."
"I don't want distance."
"I mean between you and Colin and you and Thasmudyan and, have you even given yourself time since you left Ror?"
"No..."
"Precisely. You can't possibly take on a commitment like this and expect to use it to hide."
"I'm not hiding!"
The outburst drew a quick glance from Melanie Moles, the librarian, who gave a scathing shush and vanished once again in the stacks. "I'm not hiding," Sanria repeated in a harsh whisper. "I'm moving on. I'm making a choice and sticking with it. I'm choosing a family for Nioma and Matinus, one with a father and a mother and a house, and maybe even a dog."
"Sanria. Nioma has no need for a dog, and she is just fine here with every- one that has a hand in caring for her. You know that. I know not this other child you speak of, but I'm certain his father will do what is best for him."
"I've already said yes," Sanria said plainly.
"Then tell him no, tell him to wait, I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, what if one of the others comes back and you do something... ah, foolish?"
"I've already told Thasmudyan I am choosing Gilean, I've already told Colin, and Ror... well... I've..."
"Not spoken to him even though he's sent that letter about Westbridge."
"Vorcet or Kineada can speak with him regarding a school."
"Hiding."
Sanria stood up, gripping the book, 'Medicinal Chemistry,' at her side. "I am not hiding. I'm choosing."
"Choosing to be foolish and do something you know you're going to regret."
"I'm not going to regret anything."
"You certainly are defensive for not regretting anything. Normally when you are this wound up, you've already done something wrong." Enmach avoided looking at Sanria, which infuriated Sanria all the more- but the point was made.
"Would you let this go if I talked to Ror? If I told him my plans?"
"I just think that it may be best for you to take time away from choosing. You've already done a lot of choosing and perhaps it's time for a moment of rest and reflection."
"I can't."
"Can't what?"
Sanria sat back in her chair and looked at Enmach with a frown. "Can't sit still. Can't rest and reflect. I hate myself when I reflect on the things that I've done and the other choices I've made. Gilean makes me feel like- there's something good about me, even with the screw-ups I've had."
"I think the other men in your life have forgiven you, after all, they're still around. One of them can't even remember you and he is trying to stay in your good graces. Are you so foolish you can't see that?"
"I just don't see what time is going to do, Enmach."
"Time will reveal the truth, and the truth will show you balance. When you find balance, you'll find happiness. But if you try to thread the needle with a whole spool, you'll find it won't fit. Patience, trust, and time."
"Sometimes you make me so mad, Enmach, with all your..."
"I know," the silvery woman replied with a smile. "But when have I been wrong?"
"Yes. He did ask me."
"Sanria, I have to advise against this. I truly do." Emach finally sat down, giving Sanria the chance to rest her eyes on a still being.
"What am I supposed to do, Enmach? Why wait? What am I waiting for?"
"Time and distance."
"I don't want distance."
"I mean between you and Colin and you and Thasmudyan and, have you even given yourself time since you left Ror?"
"No..."
"Precisely. You can't possibly take on a commitment like this and expect to use it to hide."
"I'm not hiding!"
The outburst drew a quick glance from Melanie Moles, the librarian, who gave a scathing shush and vanished once again in the stacks. "I'm not hiding," Sanria repeated in a harsh whisper. "I'm moving on. I'm making a choice and sticking with it. I'm choosing a family for Nioma and Matinus, one with a father and a mother and a house, and maybe even a dog."
"Sanria. Nioma has no need for a dog, and she is just fine here with every- one that has a hand in caring for her. You know that. I know not this other child you speak of, but I'm certain his father will do what is best for him."
"I've already said yes," Sanria said plainly.
"Then tell him no, tell him to wait, I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, what if one of the others comes back and you do something... ah, foolish?"
"I've already told Thasmudyan I am choosing Gilean, I've already told Colin, and Ror... well... I've..."
"Not spoken to him even though he's sent that letter about Westbridge."
"Vorcet or Kineada can speak with him regarding a school."
"Hiding."
Sanria stood up, gripping the book, 'Medicinal Chemistry,' at her side. "I am not hiding. I'm choosing."
"Choosing to be foolish and do something you know you're going to regret."
"I'm not going to regret anything."
"You certainly are defensive for not regretting anything. Normally when you are this wound up, you've already done something wrong." Enmach avoided looking at Sanria, which infuriated Sanria all the more- but the point was made.
"Would you let this go if I talked to Ror? If I told him my plans?"
"I just think that it may be best for you to take time away from choosing. You've already done a lot of choosing and perhaps it's time for a moment of rest and reflection."
"I can't."
"Can't what?"
Sanria sat back in her chair and looked at Enmach with a frown. "Can't sit still. Can't rest and reflect. I hate myself when I reflect on the things that I've done and the other choices I've made. Gilean makes me feel like- there's something good about me, even with the screw-ups I've had."
"I think the other men in your life have forgiven you, after all, they're still around. One of them can't even remember you and he is trying to stay in your good graces. Are you so foolish you can't see that?"
"I just don't see what time is going to do, Enmach."
"Time will reveal the truth, and the truth will show you balance. When you find balance, you'll find happiness. But if you try to thread the needle with a whole spool, you'll find it won't fit. Patience, trust, and time."
"Sometimes you make me so mad, Enmach, with all your..."
"I know," the silvery woman replied with a smile. "But when have I been wrong?"
Paranoia II
Colin laughed dryly again."No, you're a spy, and a poor one at that. I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you." Ror rolled with his eyes at the dumbest thing he ever heard just now. It was then that Colin pointed his finger at Ror one last time before turning away and walking back to the bar, motioning Justin over. The bartender grumbled as he walked from the cute young girl he was busy with to Colin. "What?"
"You see that man?" said Colin pointing at Ror yet again. "Pointing is rude, lad," replied Ror and he received another scowl. "He's a spy. Watch him and make sure he doesn't follow me," commanded Colin. But Justin was in no mood, his irritating face showing it all, "Buddy, that man hasn't been interested in you at all. You've been the one over there like some homeless bum beggin change."
Colin looked taken aback, "You... You're in on it too! What... Did he pay you to say that? To go along?"
Now it was Justin's turn to scowl and he leaned over the bar towards Colin. "You got about five seconds to clear out of here before I get the enforcers on you."
Colin backed away a couple of steps, his eyes suddenly darting to every person in the pub, paranoia creeping in more as his breathing quickened. The barman was glaring at him and pointing towards the door.
"You... all of you..." uttered Colin,
"Are normal people," finished Ror,
"Go on. Get moving, pal," said Justin and the barkeeper meant it. Backing away toward the door Colin turned and gruffly pushed a man out of the way as he made a hasty exit. After he had left Ror apologized for the scene to Justin, who nodded and turned back to his "girl".
Left alone again, Ror had trouble focussing on his reading. It seemed Sanria had been right about the state of mind of Colin. Ror wondered what the best course of action would be from here. He had a feeling "Not telling Sanria" was pretty high on the list.
"You see that man?" said Colin pointing at Ror yet again. "Pointing is rude, lad," replied Ror and he received another scowl. "He's a spy. Watch him and make sure he doesn't follow me," commanded Colin. But Justin was in no mood, his irritating face showing it all, "Buddy, that man hasn't been interested in you at all. You've been the one over there like some homeless bum beggin change."
Colin looked taken aback, "You... You're in on it too! What... Did he pay you to say that? To go along?"
Now it was Justin's turn to scowl and he leaned over the bar towards Colin. "You got about five seconds to clear out of here before I get the enforcers on you."
Colin backed away a couple of steps, his eyes suddenly darting to every person in the pub, paranoia creeping in more as his breathing quickened. The barman was glaring at him and pointing towards the door.
"You... all of you..." uttered Colin,
"Are normal people," finished Ror,
"Go on. Get moving, pal," said Justin and the barkeeper meant it. Backing away toward the door Colin turned and gruffly pushed a man out of the way as he made a hasty exit. After he had left Ror apologized for the scene to Justin, who nodded and turned back to his "girl".
Left alone again, Ror had trouble focussing on his reading. It seemed Sanria had been right about the state of mind of Colin. Ror wondered what the best course of action would be from here. He had a feeling "Not telling Sanria" was pretty high on the list.
Paranoia I
Ror was sitting at a small round table of the Pub of the Yawning Portal Inn. Since a while he had made it his habit to get out more and he combined pub crawling with reading these days. Since you can't read well while drunk, the crawling involved a lot less actual crawling, but he still got around town a whole lot more these days than before.
As he was reading his book and sipping his 'aquavit', Colin entered the pub. He looked around a bit as if evaluating the place before walking over to the bar with arather disheartened look. While Ror was reading Justin, the bartender, served Colin his drink (an aquavit as well) and went on to his work. Which mostly consisted out of socializing with the young and curvy.
When Ror ordered his new drink, he noticed Colin who was leaning against the wall, staring at him. Politely, Ror greeted the man and turned back to his reading.
"I know why you're here," said Colin. Ror looked up and noticed Colin sitting at the other side of his table now. "I beg your pardon?" Asked Ror. The sudden remark had disrupted his train of thought. Ror was scowled at and then Colin started to talk. A whole lot even.
At first Ror was unsure who or what he dealt with. But as the man started to talk the paranoia was pretty imminent. Was Ror not an agent or spy that was watching Colin all the time? Obviously Ror was sent there by "him". Who was this "him" anyway? No question that Ror raised could seem to resolve the matter and no honest answer he gave helped him further. If anything, the paranoia thickened.
After a while Colin mentioned Sanria, and then the puzzle pieces slided into place in Ror's brain. She had told Ror about her husband, or ex-husband, whatever. The man was seriously ill, delusional, paranoid. He believed Ror Surion was out to murder him. The story seemed pretty real for Colin who was making threats and demanded Ror to pass along the message. Colin had no idea who he was talking to and Ror was not going to tell him either. Furthermore, Ror refused to play along with Colin's imagined reality.
And so they clashed, verbally. Colin was visibly frustrated as Ror kept denying any and all accusations. Colin twisted whatever Ror said back into his imagined reality of paranoia. It was really amazing how a person could do that. Meanwhile the bickering was also followed by Justin, the barkeeper, who was not too fond of potential barfights.
As he was reading his book and sipping his 'aquavit', Colin entered the pub. He looked around a bit as if evaluating the place before walking over to the bar with arather disheartened look. While Ror was reading Justin, the bartender, served Colin his drink (an aquavit as well) and went on to his work. Which mostly consisted out of socializing with the young and curvy.
When Ror ordered his new drink, he noticed Colin who was leaning against the wall, staring at him. Politely, Ror greeted the man and turned back to his reading.
"I know why you're here," said Colin. Ror looked up and noticed Colin sitting at the other side of his table now. "I beg your pardon?" Asked Ror. The sudden remark had disrupted his train of thought. Ror was scowled at and then Colin started to talk. A whole lot even.
At first Ror was unsure who or what he dealt with. But as the man started to talk the paranoia was pretty imminent. Was Ror not an agent or spy that was watching Colin all the time? Obviously Ror was sent there by "him". Who was this "him" anyway? No question that Ror raised could seem to resolve the matter and no honest answer he gave helped him further. If anything, the paranoia thickened.
After a while Colin mentioned Sanria, and then the puzzle pieces slided into place in Ror's brain. She had told Ror about her husband, or ex-husband, whatever. The man was seriously ill, delusional, paranoid. He believed Ror Surion was out to murder him. The story seemed pretty real for Colin who was making threats and demanded Ror to pass along the message. Colin had no idea who he was talking to and Ror was not going to tell him either. Furthermore, Ror refused to play along with Colin's imagined reality.
And so they clashed, verbally. Colin was visibly frustrated as Ror kept denying any and all accusations. Colin twisted whatever Ror said back into his imagined reality of paranoia. It was really amazing how a person could do that. Meanwhile the bickering was also followed by Justin, the barkeeper, who was not too fond of potential barfights.
Return of the Painmaker
I've been free of mankind for so long, save one pain that I am tethered to for the remainder of my days. I saved her Sanria, and now I feel what she feels and thank Lady Sune, wherever she may be, that I cannot see what she thinks. Now I follow her scent, leading her back through the trees to a man she loved, then didn't love, the loved, then didn't love then loved, then didn't love. Such switching of partners I haven't seen since the last I stepped as an elf out of Lady Sune's temple.
The Haon'Dor is rife with the scent of rabbit and squirrel Something I'll have to remember for a quick meal once all this is done. Regardless... fix Colin. He is a foolish one as well. Loving someone as fickle as Sanria. Fickle - like Lithanus was. Never settling down, always drifting hearts without a home. Never committing for long. I never was very good at spreading love to others. Too worried. Love stings like briar scratches and bites like fleas and you are never free of the memories.
I can't say I remember this waterfall ever being here. It must look foolish seeing a woman and a wolf floating up to the sky... an island... this castle. Sanria resides here? These people... no... not people... what are they? They all seem surprised by me, like they know what I am without my telling them, and it puzzles them.
I smell him already and that scent of his son. It's been a long time since I've seen the boy. He must reside here, too. The silence in these rooms is incredible. It must be magic, or some sort of contrivance that enables it to be so peaceful. Though... Colin does not look at peace. Colin is afraid. 'No fear. I will help.' I must get accustomed to speaking with these people again... I sound like a child.
The Haon'Dor is rife with the scent of rabbit and squirrel Something I'll have to remember for a quick meal once all this is done. Regardless... fix Colin. He is a foolish one as well. Loving someone as fickle as Sanria. Fickle - like Lithanus was. Never settling down, always drifting hearts without a home. Never committing for long. I never was very good at spreading love to others. Too worried. Love stings like briar scratches and bites like fleas and you are never free of the memories.
I can't say I remember this waterfall ever being here. It must look foolish seeing a woman and a wolf floating up to the sky... an island... this castle. Sanria resides here? These people... no... not people... what are they? They all seem surprised by me, like they know what I am without my telling them, and it puzzles them.
I smell him already and that scent of his son. It's been a long time since I've seen the boy. He must reside here, too. The silence in these rooms is incredible. It must be magic, or some sort of contrivance that enables it to be so peaceful. Though... Colin does not look at peace. Colin is afraid. 'No fear. I will help.' I must get accustomed to speaking with these people again... I sound like a child.
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