Enmach sat across from Fenlauch. The gold-skinned being was clad in a loose tunic and breeches, his golden armor stowed neatly in the corner of the room. He stared at Enmach with a patient gaze, his hands folded over his lap. The room had a smell of rose petals and sandalwood from the incense that had long stopped burning. Enmach lowered her gaze, hoping Fenlauch would not immediately disapprove of her request.
Finally, he spoke, leaning forward as he did so. "Enmach, it needs be said that you have become too involved in Sanria's affairs."
"I am her advisor," she said quietly.
"I am aware," the baritone voice said, "but that does not mean she is permitted to call on us whenever the situation seems out of her hands."
"Fenlauch, a woman is in a very volatile relationship, it does have to do with balance."
Fenlauch gave a stare that caused Enmach to swallow and again lower her eyes. "It is personal, Enmach, and that is not why we are here."
"I know, but-"
"I am also aware of your involvement with Orn when he was seeking his mother some time ago." Enmach sank in her seat. "You deliberately circumvented our rules to aid him."
"Fenlauch, I merely-"
"Silence," Fenlauch said. The word was soft, but the power behind it was unmistakable. "You cannot keep pushing to aid them, Enmach. Your emotions have clouded your judgment. If you keep insisting on aiding them at every turn, rather than guiding them, I will have to send you home."
Enmach raised her head suddenly. "But Fenlauch, this woman is in dire need of help."
"Then guide Sanria to find help among the human beings and other assorted citizens of the realms. We are here to observe and push for overarching balance, not invest ourselves in minor affairs."
"Minor aff-"
"Enmach, you have your final warning. Advise, but disengage yourself from this matter. We have few of us as it is here, and there have been rumblings that things have been changing as far as the Gods are concerned. There are greater things we must be watchful over. Sanria will have to find help from another source. Do I make myself clear?"
Enmach stood and bowed her head in polite assent. "Yes, you have been perfectly clear."
"Good. I do not wish to hurt you, Enmach, but sometimes a keen reminder is needed to keep us on our paths."
"Yes, I understand."
"Is that all, then?"
"That is all." "Then be well, and please give Sanria my apologies when you
deliver the news."
Enmach turned and walked from Fenlauch's room. She held her head up, her expression neutral, as she walked down the halls of the castle. She shoved her emotions down as she walked to Sanria's office. It was for the greater good, she reminded herself, and with a still heavy heart, knocked lightly on the door.
Showing posts with label Enmach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Enmach. Show all posts
The Unthinkable
Sanria sat at her desk in the castle. Her familiar knot of wood in the top staring back at her. It had been several days since she'd been to "visit" Claire, her mind had been reeling. She knew Claire's story, she knew Claire had been dominated completely by the man she was with, and could only arrive at one conclusion to help her solve the problem. They'd have to get rid of Ruthivan... permanently.
Killing a being to free another, was that right? The voices crept into Sanria's mind. 'Is there not a severe imbalance in that relationship? Is it not your duty to help balance?' No. Sanria shook her head in consternation. She was no killer. She sighed deeply and dug into her mind for answers. If they couldn't kill him, and he could manage to travel the planes (meaning he would most certainly return to collect Claire), what other possibility was there?
A soft knock on the door revealed Enmach, who swooped into the room under her usual graces. "Greetings Sanria. I apologize that I have not been around as of late." Sanria waved her hand dismissively, and then the idea struck her like a thunderbolt from the skies. "Enmach... have I ever told you of my friend, Claire?" "Only that she was once the lover of your husband."
Sanria shifted uncomfortably in her chair, deciding now was not the time to let Enmach in on all the facts of her relationship. She told her of Claire's life, current and past. Finally, Sanria looked at Enmach and let out a sigh. "Is it possible," here she paused, knowing that once this thought was in the world, there was no taking it back, "that we can alter his memories just as your people altered Colin's?"
Enmach knitted her brows and looked to the desk. "You realize what you are proposing is kidnapping and forcing someone to our will?" "I know..." Sanria's voice dropped to a whisper. "But if she doesn't get help..." "Does she want help? Did you ask?" "I didn't have a chance. Though it is not difficult to see that she is in dire straits." Enmach sighed heavily. "I'll talk to Fenlauch." She looked at Sanria and Sanria could see the confusion in the silver eyes. "You realize what you are suggesting is the same thing that happened to you..." Sanria looked down and gave a singular nod. "I know," she breathed as a whisper of shame.
Killing a being to free another, was that right? The voices crept into Sanria's mind. 'Is there not a severe imbalance in that relationship? Is it not your duty to help balance?' No. Sanria shook her head in consternation. She was no killer. She sighed deeply and dug into her mind for answers. If they couldn't kill him, and he could manage to travel the planes (meaning he would most certainly return to collect Claire), what other possibility was there?
A soft knock on the door revealed Enmach, who swooped into the room under her usual graces. "Greetings Sanria. I apologize that I have not been around as of late." Sanria waved her hand dismissively, and then the idea struck her like a thunderbolt from the skies. "Enmach... have I ever told you of my friend, Claire?" "Only that she was once the lover of your husband."
Sanria shifted uncomfortably in her chair, deciding now was not the time to let Enmach in on all the facts of her relationship. She told her of Claire's life, current and past. Finally, Sanria looked at Enmach and let out a sigh. "Is it possible," here she paused, knowing that once this thought was in the world, there was no taking it back, "that we can alter his memories just as your people altered Colin's?"
Enmach knitted her brows and looked to the desk. "You realize what you are proposing is kidnapping and forcing someone to our will?" "I know..." Sanria's voice dropped to a whisper. "But if she doesn't get help..." "Does she want help? Did you ask?" "I didn't have a chance. Though it is not difficult to see that she is in dire straits." Enmach sighed heavily. "I'll talk to Fenlauch." She looked at Sanria and Sanria could see the confusion in the silver eyes. "You realize what you are suggesting is the same thing that happened to you..." Sanria looked down and gave a singular nod. "I know," she breathed as a whisper of shame.
Conealing Tensions
This was to be her sixth child and Sanria had lost count in how many pregnancies. Gilean had chosen the name, Sandorin, which Sanria felt perfect. Her brother had been long dead now. He would have been delighted to have a little one named for him. She wondered what he'd think of all this.
They had sped up nature's processes as well, making her pregnancy go much faster than normal. Unlike the times when she'd slept with Thasmudyan, however, this time was thanks to Gilean's magic.
It was a strange day in that Sanria had the cavern to herself. Orn was at the castle, Mirin was off with the bubbly and excited twins, Colin had taken Nioma out to play, and Gilean was off with Matinus - bonding. She had been through having children before, so the sensation was not new. She felt the contractions and her water break, and knew she had a little time before things grew intense. She didn't want the family rushing back with worry. She reached out to Enmach.
A mere hour later, she was looking into the eyes of her son. He, too, seemed to take her in before falling asleep. He had only cried for a moment - the indignity of being nude - before going utterly calm. Enmach left congratulations in her wake, and Sanria was left with her son only moments before everyone came back.
Though happiness seemed to be the prevailing sentiment, Sanria could see the sorrow of Colin's face that she'd be spending more time with Gilean and Sandorin, and the hurt on Gilean's face that she hadn't called him to tend the birth. Then - something on both of their faces, buried under their joys and kindnesses - worry.
They had sped up nature's processes as well, making her pregnancy go much faster than normal. Unlike the times when she'd slept with Thasmudyan, however, this time was thanks to Gilean's magic.
It was a strange day in that Sanria had the cavern to herself. Orn was at the castle, Mirin was off with the bubbly and excited twins, Colin had taken Nioma out to play, and Gilean was off with Matinus - bonding. She had been through having children before, so the sensation was not new. She felt the contractions and her water break, and knew she had a little time before things grew intense. She didn't want the family rushing back with worry. She reached out to Enmach.
A mere hour later, she was looking into the eyes of her son. He, too, seemed to take her in before falling asleep. He had only cried for a moment - the indignity of being nude - before going utterly calm. Enmach left congratulations in her wake, and Sanria was left with her son only moments before everyone came back.
Though happiness seemed to be the prevailing sentiment, Sanria could see the sorrow of Colin's face that she'd be spending more time with Gilean and Sandorin, and the hurt on Gilean's face that she hadn't called him to tend the birth. Then - something on both of their faces, buried under their joys and kindnesses - worry.
Swallowing the Flood
Sanria had gone to the cottage and begun putting her belongings into a pack. She tried to pack as he followed her around the room, reminding her of their vows, their family, and the fact they were learning to love one another in the midst of all of it. He halted her packing and took her shoulders in his hands, vehemently decrying Colin. He laid every emotion bare, including rage toward Colin. He, above all, would not let Sanria leave.
Through the night, Gilean kept a sleeping vigil, his arm protectively around Sanria. When she woke the following morning, her bag had been unpacked and everything put back in the places from which they'd been taken. Gilean wouldn't even let her propose talking to Colin or going anywhere near him. When that night fell, Sanria was again in Gilean's vigilant embrace.
She stared into the darkness, frowning. Gilean said he would be the one talking to Colin, and he was desperate. When Sanria asked what he was going to do, the chilling reply through gritted teeth was, "That depends on Colin. I'll do whatever I have to to keep this family together."
Sanria's greatest fear now was that one of the two men would end up dead or very wounded. It would be her fault. It was her fault. From the moment she took Enmach's advice to give up on Colin, to the moment she married Gilean, to the moment Colin became himself again and began to put the unyielding pressure on her to return, to now... where a proclaimed pacifist was ready to do battle.
She moved and Gilean's arm tightened reflexively. From his sleep he shook his head. Tomorrow... there would be eyes on her. They would ask her what she wanted. At least she presumed they would ask. The unfortunate thing was that "peace" was an answer neither would likely accept.
Through the night, Gilean kept a sleeping vigil, his arm protectively around Sanria. When she woke the following morning, her bag had been unpacked and everything put back in the places from which they'd been taken. Gilean wouldn't even let her propose talking to Colin or going anywhere near him. When that night fell, Sanria was again in Gilean's vigilant embrace.
She stared into the darkness, frowning. Gilean said he would be the one talking to Colin, and he was desperate. When Sanria asked what he was going to do, the chilling reply through gritted teeth was, "That depends on Colin. I'll do whatever I have to to keep this family together."
Sanria's greatest fear now was that one of the two men would end up dead or very wounded. It would be her fault. It was her fault. From the moment she took Enmach's advice to give up on Colin, to the moment she married Gilean, to the moment Colin became himself again and began to put the unyielding pressure on her to return, to now... where a proclaimed pacifist was ready to do battle.
She moved and Gilean's arm tightened reflexively. From his sleep he shook his head. Tomorrow... there would be eyes on her. They would ask her what she wanted. At least she presumed they would ask. The unfortunate thing was that "peace" was an answer neither would likely accept.
Shaping the Stone
Enmach sat at the fountain, waiting for Colin to show up. Ever since she'd given him the rabbit, Oliver, he'd been much more able to talk to others and communicate where he hadn't before. It pleased her that she was able to aid him. But this time, he needed to talk, though she already knew what the discussion would be. She'd heard it all from Sanria, the other side of the problem.
This time he was hurt over the fact that Kaliadra had roped him into a relationship of sorts, a pregnancy. He didn't want the child, a prospect not at all odd considering the fact that not many men who slept around wanted evidence of the encounter left behind. Enmach knew, however, that loneliness drove people to do far worse things.
She couldn't help feeling that he was looking at the situation all wrong. He was beside himself that he couldn't have Sanria back, but didn't seem to think about Gilean or Matinus or the fact that Sanria was going to bear a child by her husband. She tried to get him to see - by not acting on his desires, keeping himself resigned to the idea of having a baby elsewhere, he was doing Gilean's family a favor, and Kaliadra - for entrapping him unfairly - had done a service to children who would have otherwise lost a mother or a father or both.
Enmach brought him into the castle to sleep in the inn. He had requested to be put to sleep, dreamless sleep, and Enmach was obliging. Sanria was not there, nothing could accidentally happen if she was gone for the day and unable to be found in the halls of the castle.
Admittedly, it made Enmach feel bad, being on the side of the two ex-es staying ex-es, but there was nothing she could do other than help the man sleep and hope he came to his senses. She stepped out, leaving Colin for a few moments to go to the Tea Shop in the castle. Sandrine made fabulous chamomile tea, and coupled with a little dose of magic, the concoction would certainly give Colin a little peace in his slumbering hours.
This time he was hurt over the fact that Kaliadra had roped him into a relationship of sorts, a pregnancy. He didn't want the child, a prospect not at all odd considering the fact that not many men who slept around wanted evidence of the encounter left behind. Enmach knew, however, that loneliness drove people to do far worse things.
She couldn't help feeling that he was looking at the situation all wrong. He was beside himself that he couldn't have Sanria back, but didn't seem to think about Gilean or Matinus or the fact that Sanria was going to bear a child by her husband. She tried to get him to see - by not acting on his desires, keeping himself resigned to the idea of having a baby elsewhere, he was doing Gilean's family a favor, and Kaliadra - for entrapping him unfairly - had done a service to children who would have otherwise lost a mother or a father or both.
Enmach brought him into the castle to sleep in the inn. He had requested to be put to sleep, dreamless sleep, and Enmach was obliging. Sanria was not there, nothing could accidentally happen if she was gone for the day and unable to be found in the halls of the castle.
Admittedly, it made Enmach feel bad, being on the side of the two ex-es staying ex-es, but there was nothing she could do other than help the man sleep and hope he came to his senses. She stepped out, leaving Colin for a few moments to go to the Tea Shop in the castle. Sandrine made fabulous chamomile tea, and coupled with a little dose of magic, the concoction would certainly give Colin a little peace in his slumbering hours.
Constricting Constriction
Sanria stared at the spot on her desk - the same spot she'd been staring at for at least half an hour - the smoothed knot of wood that looked like a gnome face. It stared right back at her, as though it could see her thoughts and knew everything she'd been thinking and doing. It made Sanria resentful to know that even a desk knew her thoughts.
"Sanria?" Enmach's voice came from the doorway, along with a soft knock that was her hallmark.
"Come in, Enmach," Sanria said, pulling her eyes from the gnome-knot to look at the silvery woman.
Enmach closed the door and crossed the room, settling into the chair opposite Sanria. "How are things?" Enmach asked.
"I - don't know what you mean," Sanria said, sitting up straighter, as if doing so would make her at least look as though she were getting important things accomplished.
"Mmm. I mean with you and Gilean and Colin. Is that issue resolved?"
Sanria stared at Enmach, the lie sitting on her tongue, and reconsidered. Enmach would know. If any were adept at reading body language and cues, Enmach would lead them all. "No, I'm afraid not."
"What has been happening?"
"I've told Gilean how I feel about Colin and somehow he still doesn't hear what that means. I've told Colin to leave me alone and he still insists on pushing me and being with me in ways he shouldn't..."
"You're cheating on Gilean with your ex-husband?"
"I... yes, but I don't like how that sounds, I don't exactly go with the intention of sleeping with him."
"But you do."
Sanria sat back in her chair, her face flushing crimson. "Yes."
"And you don't use your magic to prevent him from-"
"Damn it, Enmach. I love the man and the last time I ever used magic like that on him was when... he followed me to Baldur's Gate... and the look on his face..."
"So you can't bring yourself to use magic to stop him, haven't you thought to call for Gilean?"
"And have him appear to see Colin and I? No..."
"Then, what is it you want, Sanria?"
Sanria let out a long sigh and pitched forward, putting her elbows on her desk, her hands in her hair, her shoulders slumping. "I just want to do the right thing. The right thing is staying put, keeping this family to- gether."
"Mmm."
"Mmm, what, Enmach? I hate it when you do that," Sanria pouted.
"It seems you're going to have to be clearer in your intentions, Sanria."
"But I don't want him with anyone else..."
"Then it would appear you have a conflict of interest between doing what is right and doing what your heart wants."
"Yeah..." Sanria's voice dropped to a whisper. "What else is new?"
"Sanria?" Enmach's voice came from the doorway, along with a soft knock that was her hallmark.
"Come in, Enmach," Sanria said, pulling her eyes from the gnome-knot to look at the silvery woman.
Enmach closed the door and crossed the room, settling into the chair opposite Sanria. "How are things?" Enmach asked.
"I - don't know what you mean," Sanria said, sitting up straighter, as if doing so would make her at least look as though she were getting important things accomplished.
"Mmm. I mean with you and Gilean and Colin. Is that issue resolved?"
Sanria stared at Enmach, the lie sitting on her tongue, and reconsidered. Enmach would know. If any were adept at reading body language and cues, Enmach would lead them all. "No, I'm afraid not."
"What has been happening?"
"I've told Gilean how I feel about Colin and somehow he still doesn't hear what that means. I've told Colin to leave me alone and he still insists on pushing me and being with me in ways he shouldn't..."
"You're cheating on Gilean with your ex-husband?"
"I... yes, but I don't like how that sounds, I don't exactly go with the intention of sleeping with him."
"But you do."
Sanria sat back in her chair, her face flushing crimson. "Yes."
"And you don't use your magic to prevent him from-"
"Damn it, Enmach. I love the man and the last time I ever used magic like that on him was when... he followed me to Baldur's Gate... and the look on his face..."
"So you can't bring yourself to use magic to stop him, haven't you thought to call for Gilean?"
"And have him appear to see Colin and I? No..."
"Then, what is it you want, Sanria?"
Sanria let out a long sigh and pitched forward, putting her elbows on her desk, her hands in her hair, her shoulders slumping. "I just want to do the right thing. The right thing is staying put, keeping this family to- gether."
"Mmm."
"Mmm, what, Enmach? I hate it when you do that," Sanria pouted.
"It seems you're going to have to be clearer in your intentions, Sanria."
"But I don't want him with anyone else..."
"Then it would appear you have a conflict of interest between doing what is right and doing what your heart wants."
"Yeah..." Sanria's voice dropped to a whisper. "What else is new?"
Of Fighting Flames and Fire
Sanria smiled as Matinus read aloud. Since she'd been back, she'd spent little time with the boy. In fact, she'd spent little time with either of the children. Somehow, though, even with everything now back to normal, she felt a gulf of a distance, and it was growing. She had Nioma, from whom she felt a tad disjointed; Matinus, who adored her but still left Sanria feeling separate; and a baby on the way for yet a third time. The baby. How many times had she lost a child now? She did the quick math in her mind... five. Death seemed to be a companion of Sanria's.
She held Nioma in her lap now - the girl having squirmed up to listen to Matinus read - and thought over her relationship with Gilean. Enmach warned her against getting married so fast, yet she'd done it anyway, and had found a measure of happiness. She loved Gilean, she tried to remind herself, but the truth was... he'd been perfectly what she'd needed. Had Colin gone on as he was, no memories, she'd have continued to grow in her love with Gilean. Now, however, she felt Colin's gravity pulling and she didn't want to fight it. She wanted to go home where everything was right... but was it?
A sigh escaped her and Matinus paused. The boy seemed alert to any passing emotion, as though he knew how to tread softly the minefield of the heart to best protect himself and others. She smiled, and he smiled in return, then resumed reading. Sanria shook her head. She loved Matinus.She loved Nioma. She loved Gilean. This was her home, now. This was her life. No matter what she thought or felt about Colin, she couldn't go back to him. She would have to find a way to stop her heart from wishing itself everywhere but here.
Sanria made up her mind in that moment, for better or worse. She would push the emotions she felt for Colin onto Gilean. The bittersweet love would have to shift. As if on cue, Gilean entered the room and she caught his expression of bliss. He, right now, had everything he wanted. She was part of his greatest joy. He looked over at her, his face a warm smile. This was something she had to do. She looked at him and smiled in return.
She held Nioma in her lap now - the girl having squirmed up to listen to Matinus read - and thought over her relationship with Gilean. Enmach warned her against getting married so fast, yet she'd done it anyway, and had found a measure of happiness. She loved Gilean, she tried to remind herself, but the truth was... he'd been perfectly what she'd needed. Had Colin gone on as he was, no memories, she'd have continued to grow in her love with Gilean. Now, however, she felt Colin's gravity pulling and she didn't want to fight it. She wanted to go home where everything was right... but was it?
A sigh escaped her and Matinus paused. The boy seemed alert to any passing emotion, as though he knew how to tread softly the minefield of the heart to best protect himself and others. She smiled, and he smiled in return, then resumed reading. Sanria shook her head. She loved Matinus.She loved Nioma. She loved Gilean. This was her home, now. This was her life. No matter what she thought or felt about Colin, she couldn't go back to him. She would have to find a way to stop her heart from wishing itself everywhere but here.
Sanria made up her mind in that moment, for better or worse. She would push the emotions she felt for Colin onto Gilean. The bittersweet love would have to shift. As if on cue, Gilean entered the room and she caught his expression of bliss. He, right now, had everything he wanted. She was part of his greatest joy. He looked over at her, his face a warm smile. This was something she had to do. She looked at him and smiled in return.
Advice for Stones
The conversation between Enmach and Colin changed slowly as the rabbits and butterflies went about their business in the castle gardens. There was an ease in Enmach's mind, a full on detachment from things around her but a blissful contentment in feeling a part of it all at the same time. She did feel a slight sorrow on Colin's behalf, but no regrets, no remorse, no desire. This was her mindset on a great many things, though on occasion it could be disturbed. Enmach was still capable of getting angry when it was warranted.
The conversation went to Colin's daughter and her decision to move out. Enmach could tell it bothered Colin, and she realized that when the girl left, Colin would be alone in a huge cavernous home with only his misery at being alone. She knew from many of the conversations she'd held with Sanria that Colin loved being surrounded by family. He was losing everything.
Enmach recommended a family meeting for the Stones and Sanria, Orn, Leandra, Colin, and Sanria around a table, reaffirming bonds and love sounded simple enough to accomplish, and a way for the family to start walking the path of healing. First, however, she had to help Colin reach out to Sanria.
She walked over to a large rabbit and gently picked him up. She spoke into the rabbit's mind, 'The human you see will now be your master. You will give him kindness when he requests you take messages to Sanria. This will be your only purpose with him, and once this work is done, you may leave if you choose.' Enmach put a vision of the cottage where Sanria was staying into the rabbit's mind, as well as a vision of Sanria. 'You will be called Oliver.'
Handing the rabbit over, Enmach gave a deep bow. She could see on Colin's face a grim look of determination, and he echoed her thoughts on his visage. She merely smiled as they parted ways, hoping her words had seeded Colin's mind, taken root, and were prepared to grow.
The conversation went to Colin's daughter and her decision to move out. Enmach could tell it bothered Colin, and she realized that when the girl left, Colin would be alone in a huge cavernous home with only his misery at being alone. She knew from many of the conversations she'd held with Sanria that Colin loved being surrounded by family. He was losing everything.
Enmach recommended a family meeting for the Stones and Sanria, Orn, Leandra, Colin, and Sanria around a table, reaffirming bonds and love sounded simple enough to accomplish, and a way for the family to start walking the path of healing. First, however, she had to help Colin reach out to Sanria.
She walked over to a large rabbit and gently picked him up. She spoke into the rabbit's mind, 'The human you see will now be your master. You will give him kindness when he requests you take messages to Sanria. This will be your only purpose with him, and once this work is done, you may leave if you choose.' Enmach put a vision of the cottage where Sanria was staying into the rabbit's mind, as well as a vision of Sanria. 'You will be called Oliver.'
Handing the rabbit over, Enmach gave a deep bow. She could see on Colin's face a grim look of determination, and he echoed her thoughts on his visage. She merely smiled as they parted ways, hoping her words had seeded Colin's mind, taken root, and were prepared to grow.
Time By the Fountain
The four lion-heads each spilled out from their roaring mouths, adding a melodic trickle to the distant din of the waterfall that poured into the lake far below. Enmach and Colin sat on the edge of the fountain, and Enmach listened as Colin spoke, feeling not at all guilty for her part in separating Sanria and Colin. "A part of me feels like I went on a trip and when I came back my friend had stolen my wife away," Colin said in reference to Gilean. "To be honest, Colin, we had no way of knowing you would return. Our people did all they could do for you, and had no other recourse left with the gaps in your memory. Sanria... you see... was beyond hurt by this."
"Well, it seems she found some comfort."
"She didn't want to. I pushed her to do so."
There was a moment's shock on Colin's face as he looked over at her, still, Enmach felt no remorse. "You... what?" "I pushed her to seek out Ror when he asked for her to join him on a midnight picnic. I did not disparage her when she found comfort in Gilean's arms, though I advised against such a quick marriage... She needed to move on, Colin."
"But I was back. Sanria and I even found ourselves together... Now I couldn't feel all she felt but..."
"Colin... she remembered everything, even all the hurt you caused her, and you could not. There was no comparison to what she remembered and what you didn't. It is hardly even when that is a consideration. I am sorry it upsets you. But I also saw the pain it caused her being near you."
"So now I get to be the one in pain, is that it?"
"I did not do this with the intention of harming you. In fact, our being together was a way for you to also see you could move on past not remembering."
"So you calculated that?"
"In part. Though I also found joy in it."
"Great," Colin said, and put his head in his hands.
"Why do you insist on seeing it negatively? Did you not enjoy our time together as I did?" Enmach said these words without a twinge of feeling. Her emotions could not be reached. They were not a necessary part to her conversation now.
"Well, yes, but now it just feels like it was at least partially
motivated by pity. Not exactly the best feeling."
"Pity? No. Education. You can still move on, Colin."
"What if I don't want to move on?"
"Then there will be hardships ahead for more than just yourself."
Enmach listened and spoke when appropriate. Colin wanted Sanria back, and from everything Sanria said about him, Colin wasn't one to give up. Not easily, at least. Though she, too, had dealings with Colin, she did not have a stake in his future. She could speak freely - reminding him of Gilean, Matinus, and Nioma, the family struggling to survive. She planted the seed of his moving on to someone else, Kaliadra perhaps. What Enmach saw, however, was a man beside himself. She had no blame to place.
"Well, it seems she found some comfort."
"She didn't want to. I pushed her to do so."
There was a moment's shock on Colin's face as he looked over at her, still, Enmach felt no remorse. "You... what?" "I pushed her to seek out Ror when he asked for her to join him on a midnight picnic. I did not disparage her when she found comfort in Gilean's arms, though I advised against such a quick marriage... She needed to move on, Colin."
"But I was back. Sanria and I even found ourselves together... Now I couldn't feel all she felt but..."
"Colin... she remembered everything, even all the hurt you caused her, and you could not. There was no comparison to what she remembered and what you didn't. It is hardly even when that is a consideration. I am sorry it upsets you. But I also saw the pain it caused her being near you."
"So now I get to be the one in pain, is that it?"
"I did not do this with the intention of harming you. In fact, our being together was a way for you to also see you could move on past not remembering."
"So you calculated that?"
"In part. Though I also found joy in it."
"Great," Colin said, and put his head in his hands.
"Why do you insist on seeing it negatively? Did you not enjoy our time together as I did?" Enmach said these words without a twinge of feeling. Her emotions could not be reached. They were not a necessary part to her conversation now.
"Well, yes, but now it just feels like it was at least partially
motivated by pity. Not exactly the best feeling."
"Pity? No. Education. You can still move on, Colin."
"What if I don't want to move on?"
"Then there will be hardships ahead for more than just yourself."
Enmach listened and spoke when appropriate. Colin wanted Sanria back, and from everything Sanria said about him, Colin wasn't one to give up. Not easily, at least. Though she, too, had dealings with Colin, she did not have a stake in his future. She could speak freely - reminding him of Gilean, Matinus, and Nioma, the family struggling to survive. She planted the seed of his moving on to someone else, Kaliadra perhaps. What Enmach saw, however, was a man beside himself. She had no blame to place.
Misplaced Affections
Enmach was in her quarters when the small Rilmani boy knocked on her door. He wore his hair in a bowl cut, something learned from the human children who played beneath the floating island. She nodded, but the boy did not enter. Instead, he looked at her with a knowing smile, much too knowing for a boy. "Colin Stone is here. He's outside by the fountain waiting for you." The last word, "you" was almost singsong, and the boy vanished in a renewed fit of giggles.
Enmach was only slightly unnerved. She cleared her throat and walked to the mirror that hung by the door of her chambers and ventured a look, and a preen, and a... she stopped. What in the world was she doing? She'd told Colin she was not interested in him and she did mean it. Her place was here at the castle in service to Fenlauch, but she'd never had anyone drive her to do what she'd done except Colin. A blush spread over her silver skin and she looked at herself sternly. In service to Fenlauch.
The day was bright as Enmach crossed the castle grounds to meet with Colin. He rose and bowed and his face turned pink and it was clear he felt a bit embarrassed by the memory. "Sir Colin," she spoke.
"Ah, hello Enmach. I was hoping I could talk with you for a bit."
"So I was told. Please, sit."
"So, has Sanria told you? I remember now." He sat.
"She mentioned it in passing. Does it please you that you now recall?"
"Well, yes and no. I felt so badly for not remembering... especially for Orn and Leandra. So I'm much happier remembering them. But with Sanria it's very difficult."
Yes. It was expected as such. The conversation wasn't at all difficult for Enmach. She simply quieted her mind, unhitching any emotion she felt for Colin and leaving it where it sat. She was dutiful before all else, and she knew at that statement that the duty she was to perform was the same she'd performed for eons. Advisor.
Enmach was only slightly unnerved. She cleared her throat and walked to the mirror that hung by the door of her chambers and ventured a look, and a preen, and a... she stopped. What in the world was she doing? She'd told Colin she was not interested in him and she did mean it. Her place was here at the castle in service to Fenlauch, but she'd never had anyone drive her to do what she'd done except Colin. A blush spread over her silver skin and she looked at herself sternly. In service to Fenlauch.
The day was bright as Enmach crossed the castle grounds to meet with Colin. He rose and bowed and his face turned pink and it was clear he felt a bit embarrassed by the memory. "Sir Colin," she spoke.
"Ah, hello Enmach. I was hoping I could talk with you for a bit."
"So I was told. Please, sit."
"So, has Sanria told you? I remember now." He sat.
"She mentioned it in passing. Does it please you that you now recall?"
"Well, yes and no. I felt so badly for not remembering... especially for Orn and Leandra. So I'm much happier remembering them. But with Sanria it's very difficult."
Yes. It was expected as such. The conversation wasn't at all difficult for Enmach. She simply quieted her mind, unhitching any emotion she felt for Colin and leaving it where it sat. She was dutiful before all else, and she knew at that statement that the duty she was to perform was the same she'd performed for eons. Advisor.
Current Character Description - Enmach
Standing at 5'10" tall, Enmach is clearly a member of the Rilmani. Her skin is a pale silver, along with her eyes, and a long flowing river of silvery hair. She is slender and dressed in a white robe closed by a silver cord. She wears no other adornments. Her demeanor is calm and gentle, her voice melodic but sure.
Chasing Rainbows
Sanria woke to a cool side of the bed, slightly indented, a small note atop Gilean's pillow: "Didn't want to disturb you, took the kids to the temple, enjoy some alone time." She rose and wrapped herself in a housecoat. Even Kaliadra was nowhere to be found.
After standing a long time staring at Nioma's small bed, Sanria wandered to the back of the cottage. She then passed time staring between the grave of her long dead daughter, Emalia, and the fresh mound of earth under which lay the father of her unborn. She stared again for long moments, her mind threatening to knock her to her knees, then spit on the grave. It did nothing to alleviate the sick feeling inside knowing that Velentham would forever be right outside her door.
She went back inside and dressed, appearing at the castle. Things here were exactly as they had always been. It seemed no one knew of her absence, save Enmach, who delightedly hugged her and congratulated her for being back. "Are you certain you should be here already?" Enmach asked with a concerned look. "You only just returned. It may be best if you return home." Sanria could tell by the tone of her voice it wasn't truly a question.
By herself in the cottage, looking into a fire, Sanria felt the tears welling up in her eyes. 'Pregnancy hormones,' she thought, but knew it was more than that. She, for the first time, was able to sit and dwell on what had been done to her. There were no distractions from her own mind and its recollections.
Before she had the chance to shed a tear, however, the sounds of music reached Sanria's ears. She held her breath as the sounds of voices were heard, harmonizing a refrain:
"I doth not want to live without thine love,
I doth not want to face the night alone,
I couldest not make it through mine life,
If I must hath make it on mine own..."
After standing a long time staring at Nioma's small bed, Sanria wandered to the back of the cottage. She then passed time staring between the grave of her long dead daughter, Emalia, and the fresh mound of earth under which lay the father of her unborn. She stared again for long moments, her mind threatening to knock her to her knees, then spit on the grave. It did nothing to alleviate the sick feeling inside knowing that Velentham would forever be right outside her door.
She went back inside and dressed, appearing at the castle. Things here were exactly as they had always been. It seemed no one knew of her absence, save Enmach, who delightedly hugged her and congratulated her for being back. "Are you certain you should be here already?" Enmach asked with a concerned look. "You only just returned. It may be best if you return home." Sanria could tell by the tone of her voice it wasn't truly a question.
By herself in the cottage, looking into a fire, Sanria felt the tears welling up in her eyes. 'Pregnancy hormones,' she thought, but knew it was more than that. She, for the first time, was able to sit and dwell on what had been done to her. There were no distractions from her own mind and its recollections.
Before she had the chance to shed a tear, however, the sounds of music reached Sanria's ears. She held her breath as the sounds of voices were heard, harmonizing a refrain:
"I doth not want to live without thine love,
I doth not want to face the night alone,
I couldest not make it through mine life,
If I must hath make it on mine own..."
Closing Chapters: A Futile Attempt
Sanria laid there beside Gilean, staring up at the ceiling. She had come back from "talking" to Colin, who seemed beside himself with the knowledge that during his memory lapse, time moved on. His wife moved on. His friend gained his wife. He was never expected to return to himself, and it made Sanria hate Velentham for being so cruel. He knew the pain it would cause and the accusations that would surface. It also made Sanria feel guilty. She made the choice to leave Colin, to involve herself with others, to remarry and plant herself in a family without fully getting over Colin. She had time, lots of it she assumed, because the Colin she knew was permanently gone. It was a horribly wrong assumption to make, apparently.
No Matter. She told Colin she had decided to stay with Gilean and the family they were building. The family that needed her most. She and Gilean to raise Matinus- son of Gilean and Claire, Nioma- daughter of Sanria and Thasmudyan, and the new soul that stirred within her - son of Velentham and Sanria. She let out a long sigh. After everything, her personal life was right where it always was: two streets down from a mess.
Her mind drifted to Kaliadra's words. Velentham's spell he had placed on her to keep her from dying so he could brutalize her and how it meant the never ending pain. A leap of shame bounded over her heart. The "talk" with Colin certainly wasn't felt only by herself. She thought of Leandra and what Colin had said about her anger management issues. Sanria's answer to both was the Rilmani. They knew so much...just not everything.
With yet another sigh, Sanria laid on her side. She'd told Gilean without telling him about the "talk." She'd told him she could no longer go alone to Colin. If she obeyed her own rule, the rest would work itself out with time. Everything would work itself out in time.
Sanria drifted to sleep at last, her mind looking forward. She'd do it right from here on out. Tomorrow began the new path and she'd start it on the floating island in the company of Fenlauch and Enmach. Removing eternity from her shared future was the first priority.
No Matter. She told Colin she had decided to stay with Gilean and the family they were building. The family that needed her most. She and Gilean to raise Matinus- son of Gilean and Claire, Nioma- daughter of Sanria and Thasmudyan, and the new soul that stirred within her - son of Velentham and Sanria. She let out a long sigh. After everything, her personal life was right where it always was: two streets down from a mess.
Her mind drifted to Kaliadra's words. Velentham's spell he had placed on her to keep her from dying so he could brutalize her and how it meant the never ending pain. A leap of shame bounded over her heart. The "talk" with Colin certainly wasn't felt only by herself. She thought of Leandra and what Colin had said about her anger management issues. Sanria's answer to both was the Rilmani. They knew so much...just not everything.
With yet another sigh, Sanria laid on her side. She'd told Gilean without telling him about the "talk." She'd told him she could no longer go alone to Colin. If she obeyed her own rule, the rest would work itself out with time. Everything would work itself out in time.
Sanria drifted to sleep at last, her mind looking forward. She'd do it right from here on out. Tomorrow began the new path and she'd start it on the floating island in the company of Fenlauch and Enmach. Removing eternity from her shared future was the first priority.
Wayfinding
Orn sat at the desk in his newly allocated office within the Keepers clan hall. He thumbed through a large leather-bound tome, one of several he had stacked upon his desk, all relating to Ragnarok in one way or another. He wasn't finding much useful and most of the information he did uncover seemed speculative and contradictory. He was beginning to wonder if anyone really knew much about the Rok at all.
The going had been slow. Book research was never particularly one of his strengths. His mother could have probably poured through all of these tomes in one day but Orn had always preferred being active and outdoors as opposed to spending time in a library. At this point, the best he had been able to glean from most opinions were that travel to the Rok was difficult and hazardous, if not impossible, and that survivability upon the surface was slim to none. Orn didn't quite understand the varying theories as to why, words ranging from weave distortion to gravity compression to makou density interference, but those two facts seemed rather consistent.
It was all so frustrating. Enmach had essentially confirmed that Velentham was holding his mother there and it was starting to seem that perhaps that was a feat which could only be accomplished by something as powerful as a full Celestial wizard. Orn would love to ask more questions of Enmach but he hadn't seen her about and he was pretty sure she was avoiding him. He couldn't blame her though. He knew she hadjeopardized her position among her people by guiding him originally and he couldn't guarantee if he were able to pin her down that he wouldn't push her for even more information.
Orn was going to need help from elsewhere if he were to find his mother. He hadn't told Gilean the news about the Ragnarok. The last he had spoken to Gilean the priest looked especially troubled and Orn worried that news of such a remote captivity without a proposed solution might push him even deeper into despair. No, Orn would need someone else.
There was only one person he could think of that might be able to draw enough power to somehow make a trip to the Rok. A man who had once brought Orn back from certain death and ostensibly could tap into the very life of the planet if needed. Orn would seek out Thasmudyan, share his findings, and hope that there was some way to reach his mom.
The going had been slow. Book research was never particularly one of his strengths. His mother could have probably poured through all of these tomes in one day but Orn had always preferred being active and outdoors as opposed to spending time in a library. At this point, the best he had been able to glean from most opinions were that travel to the Rok was difficult and hazardous, if not impossible, and that survivability upon the surface was slim to none. Orn didn't quite understand the varying theories as to why, words ranging from weave distortion to gravity compression to makou density interference, but those two facts seemed rather consistent.
It was all so frustrating. Enmach had essentially confirmed that Velentham was holding his mother there and it was starting to seem that perhaps that was a feat which could only be accomplished by something as powerful as a full Celestial wizard. Orn would love to ask more questions of Enmach but he hadn't seen her about and he was pretty sure she was avoiding him. He couldn't blame her though. He knew she hadjeopardized her position among her people by guiding him originally and he couldn't guarantee if he were able to pin her down that he wouldn't push her for even more information.
Orn was going to need help from elsewhere if he were to find his mother. He hadn't told Gilean the news about the Ragnarok. The last he had spoken to Gilean the priest looked especially troubled and Orn worried that news of such a remote captivity without a proposed solution might push him even deeper into despair. No, Orn would need someone else.
There was only one person he could think of that might be able to draw enough power to somehow make a trip to the Rok. A man who had once brought Orn back from certain death and ostensibly could tap into the very life of the planet if needed. Orn would seek out Thasmudyan, share his findings, and hope that there was some way to reach his mom.
Boiled Memories
Sanria knew there was something wrong. Something missing. Something she should have been doing. She'd turn to her boyfriend... no... husband... no.. Velentham and ask him, but his answers were always vague or complicated. They were here to get away from it all - a vacation, but who wanted a vacation spent entirely in a tent? Not only that, but she hadn't told... En... Enm... the silvery woman that she was going anywhere and she had business at... that place... the castle. But before she could truly launch into any reason that she needed to leave, he'd gently touch her face, shine his silver eyes into hers, and like magic, Sanria would utterly lose her train of thought.
Sleep, too, was frought with dreams and scattered tatters of truths. Faces would dance before her and she'd try to call out to them, but she just couldn't remember their names. She chased them through the fog in her mind, the one in brown robes, the one in white robes, the hulking muscular one, the one with pointed ears and armor, the one with green eyes, the young ones, the children, the ones with silver skin - the whole while calling, "Wait! Please, wait!" and they'd call back:
"Remember."
"How can I if you keep running away?!"
"Remember."
Sanria would wake instantly, as if she'd just been pulled out of water after nearly drowning. There'd be her husband... no... enemy... no... Velentham, looking at her with expectant adoration, as if he were waiting on her to do or say something. She'd tried, but she never knew how he was going to react. When she mentioned him getting so much time away from the temple, his smile left, his eyes narrowed, and he venomously said, "I don't want to talk about that. Don't bring it up again! It's just you and me now!" A single name she'd remembered, Matinus, and she'd said it and he'd put his hand on her face, cupped her cheek with a stern glance, and she was suddenly dreaming again.
Her body didn't feel right, her mind was on hiatus, and her emotions were all over. Each time she shot awake, his face was there. The only trouble was, itwas getting harder and harder for Sanria to remember what to think about it. Each time she looked on the narrow, gaunt being, she'd feel a tingle in her skull and something in her mind would whisper in a phantom's voice, "Love me, please, love me." Something else kept fighting back, but the fight was growing weaker and the voice ever so pleadingly present, and the silver eyes kept on watching her with a desperation hovering on madness.
Sleep, too, was frought with dreams and scattered tatters of truths. Faces would dance before her and she'd try to call out to them, but she just couldn't remember their names. She chased them through the fog in her mind, the one in brown robes, the one in white robes, the hulking muscular one, the one with pointed ears and armor, the one with green eyes, the young ones, the children, the ones with silver skin - the whole while calling, "Wait! Please, wait!" and they'd call back:
"Remember."
"How can I if you keep running away?!"
"Remember."
Sanria would wake instantly, as if she'd just been pulled out of water after nearly drowning. There'd be her husband... no... enemy... no... Velentham, looking at her with expectant adoration, as if he were waiting on her to do or say something. She'd tried, but she never knew how he was going to react. When she mentioned him getting so much time away from the temple, his smile left, his eyes narrowed, and he venomously said, "I don't want to talk about that. Don't bring it up again! It's just you and me now!" A single name she'd remembered, Matinus, and she'd said it and he'd put his hand on her face, cupped her cheek with a stern glance, and she was suddenly dreaming again.
Her body didn't feel right, her mind was on hiatus, and her emotions were all over. Each time she shot awake, his face was there. The only trouble was, itwas getting harder and harder for Sanria to remember what to think about it. Each time she looked on the narrow, gaunt being, she'd feel a tingle in her skull and something in her mind would whisper in a phantom's voice, "Love me, please, love me." Something else kept fighting back, but the fight was growing weaker and the voice ever so pleadingly present, and the silver eyes kept on watching her with a desperation hovering on madness.
Guidance and Attrition
+The writings of Enmach are done with a superior slanted scrawl, evidence of many years of training and study. The ink is of a deep maroon color on loose papyrus paper, sandwiched between two leather bound panels. The entire bundle is held together with a silken cord of gold and is scented with lavender oil.+
Alas, I have gone forward with a misdeed that I only hope will not be discovered or if discovered, simply seen as advice. I sought out Sanria's location through payment to the Phaerimm, Ro'kta'k, in Myth Drannor. I can only be grateful that payment can be made to the mages in the form of magical artifacts. If Ro'kta'k were privy to the magic we hold in this castle, I am most certain we might find ourselves involved in a very large takeover attempt. This, however, is only a part of my transgression.
I alerted Orn to her whereabouts, though I did not tell him outright. I merely helped him to use his own knowledge of his discoveries to lead him to the correct conclusion. I may have then pushed him to know he was dealing with a very dangerous individual. I do fear harm has likely already befallen Sanria, and I fear that if she is once again pulled away in haste, there will be nothing more I can do to aid her.
Colin came to my room and spoke with me as well. I specifically warned Orn against telling him what was transpiring, but I did not divine that the message would come from Gilean. I tried to get him to realize that traveling in his mental state, with a distinct lack of magic was useless, but he did not seem to have interest in listening to my words. I fear for his safety as well, but I cannot involve myself beyond what I have already done.
Delsmach did approach the Celstial tribunal with the news of their wayward member, but the response was what I had anticipated. There was nothing to be done to him if he had not turned evil. Delsmach reported they seemed to take great distaste in receiving a visit from a Rilmani, and even greater distaste in that we were once again policing their race.
I can only hope our... *my* involvement does not lead to any larger catastrophes, as this situation Sanria has gotten herself into is dire. If this being has the chance to infiltrate her mind, there will be no turning back for her. She will fight to be with her captor and to remain eternally at his side. If he does manage to remove her from this plane - she is truly lost. May both our paths end with as little harm as possible.
Alas, I have gone forward with a misdeed that I only hope will not be discovered or if discovered, simply seen as advice. I sought out Sanria's location through payment to the Phaerimm, Ro'kta'k, in Myth Drannor. I can only be grateful that payment can be made to the mages in the form of magical artifacts. If Ro'kta'k were privy to the magic we hold in this castle, I am most certain we might find ourselves involved in a very large takeover attempt. This, however, is only a part of my transgression.
I alerted Orn to her whereabouts, though I did not tell him outright. I merely helped him to use his own knowledge of his discoveries to lead him to the correct conclusion. I may have then pushed him to know he was dealing with a very dangerous individual. I do fear harm has likely already befallen Sanria, and I fear that if she is once again pulled away in haste, there will be nothing more I can do to aid her.
Colin came to my room and spoke with me as well. I specifically warned Orn against telling him what was transpiring, but I did not divine that the message would come from Gilean. I tried to get him to realize that traveling in his mental state, with a distinct lack of magic was useless, but he did not seem to have interest in listening to my words. I fear for his safety as well, but I cannot involve myself beyond what I have already done.
Delsmach did approach the Celstial tribunal with the news of their wayward member, but the response was what I had anticipated. There was nothing to be done to him if he had not turned evil. Delsmach reported they seemed to take great distaste in receiving a visit from a Rilmani, and even greater distaste in that we were once again policing their race.
I can only hope our... *my* involvement does not lead to any larger catastrophes, as this situation Sanria has gotten herself into is dire. If this being has the chance to infiltrate her mind, there will be no turning back for her. She will fight to be with her captor and to remain eternally at his side. If he does manage to remove her from this plane - she is truly lost. May both our paths end with as little harm as possible.
Advisory Role Only
+The writings of Enmach are done with a superior slanted scrawl, evidence of many years of training and study. The ink is of a deep maroon color on loose papyrus paper, sandwiched between two leather bound panels. The entire bundle is held together with a silken cord of gold and is scented with lavender oil.+
I can't claim that I was surprised by the summons from Sanria's son. In fact, had he not reached out to me, I would have been much more shocked. As it was, he was in her office, appearing quite perturbed at her disappearance.
Through our conversation, it became clear that a Celestial was to blame, a situation that causes extreme concern simply because they are a race most vexed by our involvement. Celestials are of a very strong opinion that evil is to be eradicated at all costs, while we Rilmani strive to maintain balance, which necessarily means we keep certain aspects of evil alive and well. This kidnapping by a member of that race is vile in that Celestials involving themselves so thoroughly with a member of the human race has rarely led to good things. In the last case I recall, when the human failed to gain entry through petition, the human was destroyed as a false witness and the Celestial excommunicated. From all Orn has said, this particular being sounds doubly unstable.
I sent Delsmach to Elysium in the hopes of gaining audience with the Celestial tribunal to bring the issue before them, however, knowing the tensions between our people, it is doubtful the leaders will do anything.
The only thing that has set my being on edge is having to tell Orn that I could not involve myself in the hunt for his mother. Even Sanria has faced our obstinacy, but the young boy did not seem to comprehend deeply just how resolute our people must be. Fenlauch lauded my immovability, but I cannot help but feel I am letting my good friend down. As much as I've tried to keep my role in sight, I have grown quite fond of Sanria and her wayward soul... I suppose in a way, she's given me more purpose to do what I am meant to do than any Rilmani ever has.
I know that I could find Sanria's location, but to disclose such knowledge would involved the Rilmani in situations of the mortals of the material plane, and in matters of Celestial business. I would endanger our purpose here, and at most, all we do is guide our small band of human guests. I feel a great sorrow over this matter.
I only hope Delsmach is successful, and that the Keepers are also able to find their own. I will attempt to hold my heart and mind steady and calm. Fortitude and steadfastness are the hallmarks of our kind, as well as balance, and loyalty to the pledge we've made in coming here. Watch for imbalance, partial to none, silent but for the heaviest of blows.
I can't claim that I was surprised by the summons from Sanria's son. In fact, had he not reached out to me, I would have been much more shocked. As it was, he was in her office, appearing quite perturbed at her disappearance.
Through our conversation, it became clear that a Celestial was to blame, a situation that causes extreme concern simply because they are a race most vexed by our involvement. Celestials are of a very strong opinion that evil is to be eradicated at all costs, while we Rilmani strive to maintain balance, which necessarily means we keep certain aspects of evil alive and well. This kidnapping by a member of that race is vile in that Celestials involving themselves so thoroughly with a member of the human race has rarely led to good things. In the last case I recall, when the human failed to gain entry through petition, the human was destroyed as a false witness and the Celestial excommunicated. From all Orn has said, this particular being sounds doubly unstable.
I sent Delsmach to Elysium in the hopes of gaining audience with the Celestial tribunal to bring the issue before them, however, knowing the tensions between our people, it is doubtful the leaders will do anything.
The only thing that has set my being on edge is having to tell Orn that I could not involve myself in the hunt for his mother. Even Sanria has faced our obstinacy, but the young boy did not seem to comprehend deeply just how resolute our people must be. Fenlauch lauded my immovability, but I cannot help but feel I am letting my good friend down. As much as I've tried to keep my role in sight, I have grown quite fond of Sanria and her wayward soul... I suppose in a way, she's given me more purpose to do what I am meant to do than any Rilmani ever has.
I know that I could find Sanria's location, but to disclose such knowledge would involved the Rilmani in situations of the mortals of the material plane, and in matters of Celestial business. I would endanger our purpose here, and at most, all we do is guide our small band of human guests. I feel a great sorrow over this matter.
I only hope Delsmach is successful, and that the Keepers are also able to find their own. I will attempt to hold my heart and mind steady and calm. Fortitude and steadfastness are the hallmarks of our kind, as well as balance, and loyalty to the pledge we've made in coming here. Watch for imbalance, partial to none, silent but for the heaviest of blows.
In Time
Sanria sat in the chair before the fire, Nioma sleeping in the crook of her arm as Matinus read aloud. They had invited Mr. and Mrs. Bunny, Nioma's new pets, into the house, as well as Scout, Matinus' new dog. Embued with a sense of peace, the animals were all getting along, content to sit by the fire grooming themselves. They had had a full day, Gilean taking Nioma to the temple, Sanria taking Matinus to the castle. Though he was incredibly shy, Matinus' face lit up at every new introduction and every passing dragon, and Sanria felt her heart warmed. Matinus reminded her so much of Orn in so many ways - it made it easy for her to love him almost immediately.
Sanria was content to know that Mrs. Bunny had been given a birth control spell not unlike her own - there wouldn't be a multiplication of rabbits in the cottage - though it wouldn't necessarily stop Mr. Bunny from possibly forcing Sanria to explain the birds and bees much sooner than she'd like. She leaned back into the couch as Matinus read and thought back over the day.
Enmach had discovered her marriage given Sanria's young guest, and when she took Sanria into the library, her fingers steepled beneath her narrow nose, the only way Sanria had escaped the withering lecture was when she had been alerted to a visitor outside the castle. Matinus stayed behind with Mirin, who had been a fixture in the castle with Orn, and Sanria found herself in discussions with a drow whose name Sanria never did receive. Concerned with the balance of Westbridge and the treatment he found at the hands of Radiant Heart, the drow insisted his viewpoint may well aid in the balance of the clan. With the promise of an application, the meeting had ended, and Sanria went back inside to collect Matinus.
The walk back to the cottage had the boy chatting amiably and excitedly. "I will be a Keeper of Balance when I get big, then I'll work with a dragon and go on adventures with a dragon and a silver lady and scout." Sanria could only chuckle. Now sitting there, a sleeping child on her lap, another child who needed a mother at her side reading "The Adventures of Roland," Sanria felt a warmth spread through her and she reached over, ruffling Matinus' hair.
The day had been filled with speculative glances from the Rilmani, a fresh dose of irritation from Enmach, an uncanny meeting with an unknown drow, and a glut of brand new pets, owing partially to Gilean not wanting to let Nioma down in her request to not have the live Mr. Bunny be lonely. She looked up as Gilean came in the room and sat in the chair. He smiled warmly at the assembled group... family... and Sanria felt within herself the beginnings of belonging.
Sanria was content to know that Mrs. Bunny had been given a birth control spell not unlike her own - there wouldn't be a multiplication of rabbits in the cottage - though it wouldn't necessarily stop Mr. Bunny from possibly forcing Sanria to explain the birds and bees much sooner than she'd like. She leaned back into the couch as Matinus read and thought back over the day.
Enmach had discovered her marriage given Sanria's young guest, and when she took Sanria into the library, her fingers steepled beneath her narrow nose, the only way Sanria had escaped the withering lecture was when she had been alerted to a visitor outside the castle. Matinus stayed behind with Mirin, who had been a fixture in the castle with Orn, and Sanria found herself in discussions with a drow whose name Sanria never did receive. Concerned with the balance of Westbridge and the treatment he found at the hands of Radiant Heart, the drow insisted his viewpoint may well aid in the balance of the clan. With the promise of an application, the meeting had ended, and Sanria went back inside to collect Matinus.
The walk back to the cottage had the boy chatting amiably and excitedly. "I will be a Keeper of Balance when I get big, then I'll work with a dragon and go on adventures with a dragon and a silver lady and scout." Sanria could only chuckle. Now sitting there, a sleeping child on her lap, another child who needed a mother at her side reading "The Adventures of Roland," Sanria felt a warmth spread through her and she reached over, ruffling Matinus' hair.
The day had been filled with speculative glances from the Rilmani, a fresh dose of irritation from Enmach, an uncanny meeting with an unknown drow, and a glut of brand new pets, owing partially to Gilean not wanting to let Nioma down in her request to not have the live Mr. Bunny be lonely. She looked up as Gilean came in the room and sat in the chair. He smiled warmly at the assembled group... family... and Sanria felt within herself the beginnings of belonging.
The Elephant in the Cafe
She had done everything- called off her engagement, kept away from Gilean, checked in on Colin only when he was already half asleep, and stayed away from Thasmudyan completely. Still, Sanria sat in front of Enmach with a pensive stare at the parchment on her desk, writing mindlessly as she spoke.
"I didn't bring anything up other than his letter, that's all."
"Sanria - don't you believe there is more to discuss?"
"No, Enmach. And neither did he. Ror was quite comfortable to keep things business and I won't look the part of the weepy woman sharing her feelings."
Sanria heard the scowl- the huff of breath, the push back into the leather chair. "I still believe you should have told him."
"Why?" Sanria asked, laying the quill down. She looked at Enmach, her face calm and emotionless. "What good would that do?" Enmach grumbled and shook her head. "You humans are foolish and stubborn. You want want want- friendship, love, companionship- and when things don't go your way, you pretend none of it matters and that you have armor wrapped around the heart in your chest. It's idiocy."
"I'm sorry we disappoint you," Sanria said frankly.
"I will not be baited," Enmach answered cooly.
"Then I'll finish this letter to the other leaders and let them meet with Ror to discuss further his ideas for the school and theater in Westbridge. As far as my personal ties to Ror, we have severed those and they no longer matter."
"You truly believe he felt nothing and you felt nothing?"
"He ate his soup and again started asking after someone from my past."
"Who?"
"Kaliadra."
"I see."
"So, no. I don't think he felt anything. As to myself, I've already told you I'm not going to spread my personal feelings around with one who is uninterested."
"I'm interested."
Sanria looked up, narrowing her eyes at Enmach, who sat with a demure grin. "I agree with him in regards to education and the arts." Sanria looked back to her parchment and started writing again. She kept writing even though a flash of bright light indicated she was alone once again. Only when she finished did she turn her chair to face the window, staring out over the floating island, seeing it without seeing it.
"I didn't bring anything up other than his letter, that's all."
"Sanria - don't you believe there is more to discuss?"
"No, Enmach. And neither did he. Ror was quite comfortable to keep things business and I won't look the part of the weepy woman sharing her feelings."
Sanria heard the scowl- the huff of breath, the push back into the leather chair. "I still believe you should have told him."
"Why?" Sanria asked, laying the quill down. She looked at Enmach, her face calm and emotionless. "What good would that do?" Enmach grumbled and shook her head. "You humans are foolish and stubborn. You want want want- friendship, love, companionship- and when things don't go your way, you pretend none of it matters and that you have armor wrapped around the heart in your chest. It's idiocy."
"I'm sorry we disappoint you," Sanria said frankly.
"I will not be baited," Enmach answered cooly.
"Then I'll finish this letter to the other leaders and let them meet with Ror to discuss further his ideas for the school and theater in Westbridge. As far as my personal ties to Ror, we have severed those and they no longer matter."
"You truly believe he felt nothing and you felt nothing?"
"He ate his soup and again started asking after someone from my past."
"Who?"
"Kaliadra."
"I see."
"So, no. I don't think he felt anything. As to myself, I've already told you I'm not going to spread my personal feelings around with one who is uninterested."
"I'm interested."
Sanria looked up, narrowing her eyes at Enmach, who sat with a demure grin. "I agree with him in regards to education and the arts." Sanria looked back to her parchment and started writing again. She kept writing even though a flash of bright light indicated she was alone once again. Only when she finished did she turn her chair to face the window, staring out over the floating island, seeing it without seeing it.
Mrs. Gilean Eosos?
"And so he asked you?" Enmach said, her expression patient as she paced the small section of the library where Sanria had holed herself up. Sanria sat in the chair, her feet tucked beneath her, a closed book on her lap. This wasn't what she had in mind when telling Enmach the news, the silver skinned companion hounding her for answers. Sanria felt as though she were reporting to her mother.
"Yes. He did ask me."
"Sanria, I have to advise against this. I truly do." Emach finally sat down, giving Sanria the chance to rest her eyes on a still being.
"What am I supposed to do, Enmach? Why wait? What am I waiting for?"
"Time and distance."
"I don't want distance."
"I mean between you and Colin and you and Thasmudyan and, have you even given yourself time since you left Ror?"
"No..."
"Precisely. You can't possibly take on a commitment like this and expect to use it to hide."
"I'm not hiding!"
The outburst drew a quick glance from Melanie Moles, the librarian, who gave a scathing shush and vanished once again in the stacks. "I'm not hiding," Sanria repeated in a harsh whisper. "I'm moving on. I'm making a choice and sticking with it. I'm choosing a family for Nioma and Matinus, one with a father and a mother and a house, and maybe even a dog."
"Sanria. Nioma has no need for a dog, and she is just fine here with every- one that has a hand in caring for her. You know that. I know not this other child you speak of, but I'm certain his father will do what is best for him."
"I've already said yes," Sanria said plainly.
"Then tell him no, tell him to wait, I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, what if one of the others comes back and you do something... ah, foolish?"
"I've already told Thasmudyan I am choosing Gilean, I've already told Colin, and Ror... well... I've..."
"Not spoken to him even though he's sent that letter about Westbridge."
"Vorcet or Kineada can speak with him regarding a school."
"Hiding."
Sanria stood up, gripping the book, 'Medicinal Chemistry,' at her side. "I am not hiding. I'm choosing."
"Choosing to be foolish and do something you know you're going to regret."
"I'm not going to regret anything."
"You certainly are defensive for not regretting anything. Normally when you are this wound up, you've already done something wrong." Enmach avoided looking at Sanria, which infuriated Sanria all the more- but the point was made.
"Would you let this go if I talked to Ror? If I told him my plans?"
"I just think that it may be best for you to take time away from choosing. You've already done a lot of choosing and perhaps it's time for a moment of rest and reflection."
"I can't."
"Can't what?"
Sanria sat back in her chair and looked at Enmach with a frown. "Can't sit still. Can't rest and reflect. I hate myself when I reflect on the things that I've done and the other choices I've made. Gilean makes me feel like- there's something good about me, even with the screw-ups I've had."
"I think the other men in your life have forgiven you, after all, they're still around. One of them can't even remember you and he is trying to stay in your good graces. Are you so foolish you can't see that?"
"I just don't see what time is going to do, Enmach."
"Time will reveal the truth, and the truth will show you balance. When you find balance, you'll find happiness. But if you try to thread the needle with a whole spool, you'll find it won't fit. Patience, trust, and time."
"Sometimes you make me so mad, Enmach, with all your..."
"I know," the silvery woman replied with a smile. "But when have I been wrong?"
"Yes. He did ask me."
"Sanria, I have to advise against this. I truly do." Emach finally sat down, giving Sanria the chance to rest her eyes on a still being.
"What am I supposed to do, Enmach? Why wait? What am I waiting for?"
"Time and distance."
"I don't want distance."
"I mean between you and Colin and you and Thasmudyan and, have you even given yourself time since you left Ror?"
"No..."
"Precisely. You can't possibly take on a commitment like this and expect to use it to hide."
"I'm not hiding!"
The outburst drew a quick glance from Melanie Moles, the librarian, who gave a scathing shush and vanished once again in the stacks. "I'm not hiding," Sanria repeated in a harsh whisper. "I'm moving on. I'm making a choice and sticking with it. I'm choosing a family for Nioma and Matinus, one with a father and a mother and a house, and maybe even a dog."
"Sanria. Nioma has no need for a dog, and she is just fine here with every- one that has a hand in caring for her. You know that. I know not this other child you speak of, but I'm certain his father will do what is best for him."
"I've already said yes," Sanria said plainly.
"Then tell him no, tell him to wait, I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, what if one of the others comes back and you do something... ah, foolish?"
"I've already told Thasmudyan I am choosing Gilean, I've already told Colin, and Ror... well... I've..."
"Not spoken to him even though he's sent that letter about Westbridge."
"Vorcet or Kineada can speak with him regarding a school."
"Hiding."
Sanria stood up, gripping the book, 'Medicinal Chemistry,' at her side. "I am not hiding. I'm choosing."
"Choosing to be foolish and do something you know you're going to regret."
"I'm not going to regret anything."
"You certainly are defensive for not regretting anything. Normally when you are this wound up, you've already done something wrong." Enmach avoided looking at Sanria, which infuriated Sanria all the more- but the point was made.
"Would you let this go if I talked to Ror? If I told him my plans?"
"I just think that it may be best for you to take time away from choosing. You've already done a lot of choosing and perhaps it's time for a moment of rest and reflection."
"I can't."
"Can't what?"
Sanria sat back in her chair and looked at Enmach with a frown. "Can't sit still. Can't rest and reflect. I hate myself when I reflect on the things that I've done and the other choices I've made. Gilean makes me feel like- there's something good about me, even with the screw-ups I've had."
"I think the other men in your life have forgiven you, after all, they're still around. One of them can't even remember you and he is trying to stay in your good graces. Are you so foolish you can't see that?"
"I just don't see what time is going to do, Enmach."
"Time will reveal the truth, and the truth will show you balance. When you find balance, you'll find happiness. But if you try to thread the needle with a whole spool, you'll find it won't fit. Patience, trust, and time."
"Sometimes you make me so mad, Enmach, with all your..."
"I know," the silvery woman replied with a smile. "But when have I been wrong?"
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