Magic lifted Sanria and Leandra to Claire and Gilean's cottage, where Gilean greeted them and ushered them inside. Sanria felt hollow, and oddly numb as Gilean asked about Colin and Orn - he knew something wasn't quite right. The five of them, including Askari once he found out Leandra was there, gathered in the dining room. Claire looked small, almost mousy, as though she were cowed in some deep way. Gilean appeared to be his normal self and Askari... Sanria gave a long inward sigh. The boy was moody, hormonal, and the father of her daughter's child. How in the nine hells had this happened?
"I... wasn't feeling good so... my mom tried to heal me..." Leandra began,
"I... kept feeling like I was gonna throw up, you know..."
"I'm sure my Mom can make you better, right mom?" Askari asked.
"I could try," Claire said slowly.
"There is more," Sanria interrupted. And she saw the shock register as she looked over at Gilean's face.
"My mom took me to the druid grove to... see if the Elders could figure out what was wrong... And... they... they... I..."
"You're with child," Gilean finished.
"Well... that's... I mean... why are you here, though?" Claire asked.
"W... wait... a baby?" Askari said with trepidation.
"Wait... no... no no... not... Askari?" Claire said, her voice in a tremor.
"Oh... oh yes, it is..." Gilean said quietly.
"But that means that... they'd... Askari?!"
"What Mom? I... I love Leandra!" Askari defiantly proclaimed.
Oh not this. Not love. Sanria felt a twinge in the pit of her stomach. All of this was just too fast, they didn't even know what love was... come to think of it, did she? "It appears we are to be grandparents. Well... I will be again, but..." Sanria trailed off.
Gilean, for all the world, seemed nearly happy for the children, which irked Sanria a tad. This was serious, not a time to be delighting in the world of kids bringing about more kids. She watched him heal Leandra of her morning sickness, and even tell them that their child was to be a boy. Both Askari and Leandra seemed wrapped in their own world, and Claire seemed void of even the air in her lungs. "It's alright," Gilean said. "We'll help them through. Believe me... I have seem many younger parents than them."
"Younger?" Sanria asked in disbelief.
"More often that you might think. At least these two have all of us to help support them... but Colin's not here."
"He isn't quite happy about this and... given his disposition recently... we thought it better he stay."
"Oh... I... I see..."
"I'll make sure no harm comes to Askari," Sanria offered.
After subduing Leandra and Askari's talk of getting married and moving out so as not to be like the adults that were in their lives, and reminding her daughter that she should not ask at the current moment to stay with Askari, Sanria took Leandra home where the grounding remained in effect. For herself, Sanria crept into her private study and closed the door behind her.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query label:RPnote label:Leandra. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query label:RPnote label:Leandra. Sort by date Show all posts
Collision
Sanria came back from the castle exhausted and grateful to see her own house. She had spend the day in meditations coupled with advising sessions with Enmach. She threw off her robe and stepped into her waterfall shower. Through magic the water diverted here was the perfect temperature. It ran down her face, neck, and body - easing hear pain and clearing her mind. Once finished, she wrapped herself in a fresh robe and headed to her bedroom.
Colin was there, waiting for her. Somehow, though they were "apart" they weren't "apart." Colin had slowly worked his way from the guest room back into Sanria's room - and she was so accustomed to seeing him there that the thought of forcing him out no longer crossed her mind. She told him she'd be staying until he was healed anyway, and Enmach had suggested not rushing that, so, to see him there wasn't troubling, but the look on his face was.
"Leandra is really, really upset," he began haltingly.
"About?"
"Us... everything... she wanted to move out. Me and her."
"I see."
"Do you think she got that from me?" he asked, avoiding her gaze.
"Got what from you?"
"Being so angry..."
"No. She's never truly seen you angry. Only one of our children has."
"And he hasn't been the same with me since," Colin replied quietly.
"Nothing has been the same since."
"Yeah... I think maybe you should talk to her."
"Yes. I don't know what good it will do, but alright."
The soothing affects of her shower gone, Sanria sighed and got up, padding down the stairs to Leandra's room. She expected a fire storm. With Leandra, lately, Sanria could never know. The girl was so full of angst and irritation with her... she knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Nothing. With dread creeping in, she opened the door to find an empty room and what appeared to be an open diary on the bed.
Sanria crossed the room and picked it up and as she read, her blood went cold.
Colin was there, waiting for her. Somehow, though they were "apart" they weren't "apart." Colin had slowly worked his way from the guest room back into Sanria's room - and she was so accustomed to seeing him there that the thought of forcing him out no longer crossed her mind. She told him she'd be staying until he was healed anyway, and Enmach had suggested not rushing that, so, to see him there wasn't troubling, but the look on his face was.
"Leandra is really, really upset," he began haltingly.
"About?"
"Us... everything... she wanted to move out. Me and her."
"I see."
"Do you think she got that from me?" he asked, avoiding her gaze.
"Got what from you?"
"Being so angry..."
"No. She's never truly seen you angry. Only one of our children has."
"And he hasn't been the same with me since," Colin replied quietly.
"Nothing has been the same since."
"Yeah... I think maybe you should talk to her."
"Yes. I don't know what good it will do, but alright."
The soothing affects of her shower gone, Sanria sighed and got up, padding down the stairs to Leandra's room. She expected a fire storm. With Leandra, lately, Sanria could never know. The girl was so full of angst and irritation with her... she knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Nothing. With dread creeping in, she opened the door to find an empty room and what appeared to be an open diary on the bed.
Sanria crossed the room and picked it up and as she read, her blood went cold.
Angry, Angry, Angsty-Pants
Leandra stared at the brook by the cavern and finally broke down. She wanted a lot of things she couldn't have, and now it really hit her and now she just felt stupid. She was old enough to know better - her mom was married to another man and was now missing. Sure, she borderline hated her mom, but not if she'd get back together with her dad and love him. Trouble was her dad didn't even remember being her dad in the first place. Watching him move around the cavern doing weird things because he thought some dude was after him... but even with all that... even without remembering, he was going to go try to save her mom. Leandra wept knowing she had hoped her mom stayed gone. She wept knowing she'd never have that part of her life.
Her thoughts turned to Askari and Heiyu. She had a son she barely paid attention to and the truth was she didn't know how. Gods knew she never had much attention... she wasn't even sure if she loved the boy - or Askari. She was just so damned mad all the time. She couldn't make it stop. No good reason. Or maybe just being alive was reason enough.
Her thoughts turned to Askari and Heiyu. She had a son she barely paid attention to and the truth was she didn't know how. Gods knew she never had much attention... she wasn't even sure if she loved the boy - or Askari. She was just so damned mad all the time. She couldn't make it stop. No good reason. Or maybe just being alive was reason enough.
After Hours
Sanria knew Gilean wasn't happy about the meeting, but she assured him that there was nothing to fear, that Orn and Leandra would be there to keep anything from happening between her and Colin. The meeting itself went horribly, which Sanria had anticipated. Though Orn kept his calm for the most part, Leandra had broken down into near hysterics over the life Sanria had chosen. Sanria looked at Orn's face, noting the pain he felt, she looked at Colin's face as he tried to patiently reason with Leandra, and she listened to her daughter as she sobbed out all the reasons why this wasn't real because until she came home, they weren't really a family at all.
"I can't accept your new family, Mom. I'm... sorry." Leandra got up and Sanria felt desperation settle into her chest.
"Please... don't go away angry. Please, try to understand."
"I've tried for a long time... and I just can't."
Leandra left them and Colin reached across the table to hold her hand. It startled her, feeling the large, warm hand enfold her own and she felt comfort, which gave way to panic as Orn, too, left through his portal. Suddenly, Sanria found herself alone, across the table from Colin who had not let go of her hand.
Sanria had every intention of leaving and every motivation to do so. She crossed the table to hug Colin goodbye and the large arms stayed wrapped around her, tracing her back. The entire time he'd forgotten her, all she wanted was for him to remember so they could get their lives back. She wanted this feeling, to have Colin back the way he was long ago- after Visha, before the rift- the Colin she'd fallen in love with. They'd all told her it was no use, and she'd run from man to man hoping to find it. She'd stayed with Gilean because he gave her comfort... and then it was all turned on its head.
Had she not been with Gilean, Velentham wouldn't have allowed Colin to remember anything anyway. In a way, things had to be the way they were for this to even be happening. For as little as she felt standing with Thasmudyan, standing with Colin had her every hair standing on end. It didn't let up, and she felt herself swept off her feet, carried up to a bedroom that she knew intimately. Everything else was forgotten for a very long stretch of time. Then... she had to go home.
"I can't accept your new family, Mom. I'm... sorry." Leandra got up and Sanria felt desperation settle into her chest.
"Please... don't go away angry. Please, try to understand."
"I've tried for a long time... and I just can't."
Leandra left them and Colin reached across the table to hold her hand. It startled her, feeling the large, warm hand enfold her own and she felt comfort, which gave way to panic as Orn, too, left through his portal. Suddenly, Sanria found herself alone, across the table from Colin who had not let go of her hand.
Sanria had every intention of leaving and every motivation to do so. She crossed the table to hug Colin goodbye and the large arms stayed wrapped around her, tracing her back. The entire time he'd forgotten her, all she wanted was for him to remember so they could get their lives back. She wanted this feeling, to have Colin back the way he was long ago- after Visha, before the rift- the Colin she'd fallen in love with. They'd all told her it was no use, and she'd run from man to man hoping to find it. She'd stayed with Gilean because he gave her comfort... and then it was all turned on its head.
Had she not been with Gilean, Velentham wouldn't have allowed Colin to remember anything anyway. In a way, things had to be the way they were for this to even be happening. For as little as she felt standing with Thasmudyan, standing with Colin had her every hair standing on end. It didn't let up, and she felt herself swept off her feet, carried up to a bedroom that she knew intimately. Everything else was forgotten for a very long stretch of time. Then... she had to go home.
Discoveries in Seas of Emotion ( 1 of 2 )
"Mom, you really shouldn't come. The guy is an asshole." Leandra was not known for holding back, and Sanria sighed.
"I'd like to see her for myself and possibly..."
"What?"
"Well, I know we haven't exactly talked since... since you left, but-"
"Gods mom, what did you do now. Or should I say, who?"
"Leandra, that's... nevermind. I'm back together with your father."
"Well that's great!"
"No... hang on..."
"What?"
"I'm with Gilean, too." Silence. Then:
"You're married to two guys?"
"Yes."
"Holy hells, mom. I mean... what is wrong with you?"
"Leandra, I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances, so if you
don't mind keeping your demeaning opinion to yourself-"
"Fine. Fine... I'm... glad you're at least kinda back with Dad."
"Thank you," Sanria telepathed. "When can I come to visit Claire?"
"Soon. Mr. Bitch takes their kids to visit the other Espers daily. You
need to come about noon. If he finds you there, he's probably going
to be in a mood."
"Thank you, Leandra. I love you."
"Yeah, I know."
Sanria broke the connection with her daughter and sighed. She still didn't know she had a brand new half brother, but that would be a discussion for another time. She got up and packed a few supplies in her pack. She would go to Claire, figure out how to get her out of her situation, and bring her back for Gilean. It would be as simple as that. She had nearly reached the door when Gilean appeared from the library.
He guessed immediately where she was going and why, and spent the next moments trying to convince her that it was not what he wanted. "But," she began, "don't you love Claire more than you love me? If you could be with her, wouldn't you?" "I do love Claire. I do care about what she's going through and I hate to see it. She doesn't deserve it. But to say I love her more than you?" Gilean shook his head. "That's not true, Sanria."
Sanria's heart skipped and she reached out, taking both Gilean and her baby son, Sandorin, into an embrace. As strange was it was, she had to admit to herself that she was deeply in love with Gilean, and though it was different than the deep love she had for Colin, the truth was that she felt her heart more entwined with the man in her arms now.
She pulled back just as Orn came down the stairs. "Oh, hey guys. You... going somewhere, Mom?"
"Ah, I don't think so now. I was just going to go visit Claire and Leandra. I was thinking of helping Claire if she wanted help."
"Oh. Well, is there something I can do to help?"
"I'd like to see her for myself and possibly..."
"What?"
"Well, I know we haven't exactly talked since... since you left, but-"
"Gods mom, what did you do now. Or should I say, who?"
"Leandra, that's... nevermind. I'm back together with your father."
"Well that's great!"
"No... hang on..."
"What?"
"I'm with Gilean, too." Silence. Then:
"You're married to two guys?"
"Yes."
"Holy hells, mom. I mean... what is wrong with you?"
"Leandra, I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances, so if you
don't mind keeping your demeaning opinion to yourself-"
"Fine. Fine... I'm... glad you're at least kinda back with Dad."
"Thank you," Sanria telepathed. "When can I come to visit Claire?"
"Soon. Mr. Bitch takes their kids to visit the other Espers daily. You
need to come about noon. If he finds you there, he's probably going
to be in a mood."
"Thank you, Leandra. I love you."
"Yeah, I know."
Sanria broke the connection with her daughter and sighed. She still didn't know she had a brand new half brother, but that would be a discussion for another time. She got up and packed a few supplies in her pack. She would go to Claire, figure out how to get her out of her situation, and bring her back for Gilean. It would be as simple as that. She had nearly reached the door when Gilean appeared from the library.
He guessed immediately where she was going and why, and spent the next moments trying to convince her that it was not what he wanted. "But," she began, "don't you love Claire more than you love me? If you could be with her, wouldn't you?" "I do love Claire. I do care about what she's going through and I hate to see it. She doesn't deserve it. But to say I love her more than you?" Gilean shook his head. "That's not true, Sanria."
Sanria's heart skipped and she reached out, taking both Gilean and her baby son, Sandorin, into an embrace. As strange was it was, she had to admit to herself that she was deeply in love with Gilean, and though it was different than the deep love she had for Colin, the truth was that she felt her heart more entwined with the man in her arms now.
She pulled back just as Orn came down the stairs. "Oh, hey guys. You... going somewhere, Mom?"
"Ah, I don't think so now. I was just going to go visit Claire and Leandra. I was thinking of helping Claire if she wanted help."
"Oh. Well, is there something I can do to help?"
Grounded!
It was so boring. More than boring it was like, ugh, frustrating. How many times could Leandra count the leaves on the tree that grew in her room? How many times could she stare at the walls, the winking crystals. Ugh! Leandra put a hand on her stomach and patted it lightly. It was still relatively flat, barely anything there, but it was kinda cool to think that there was something in there. A little boy - eventually. Leandra sighed and sat up on her bed. She had to get rid of the boredom.
Peeking out her door, the coast clear, Leandra slipped down the stairwell and opened the heavy front door. She thought of going to Skive and asking him to fly her somewhere, but that would alert her mother that she was out of her room. If she went to Askari's house, they'd certainly tell on her - she couldn't appear and disappear like Askari could. So, Leandra shrugged and decided to go to town - Westbridge - simply because... she'd never been and she was bored.
It was a bit of a walk, but Leandra made decent time. Whenever a traveler passed her, she kept her gaze averted just in case they might have known she was her mother's daughter. She reached the gates and her mouth fell open. It was like... huge! The buildings, the soldiers, the people, even the smell - like food and body odor and - Leandra's eyes fell on the bench in Market Square. Who the hell was that?
Leandra crept closer, looking at the woman who barely wore clothes. She looked wild somehow, all those markings and piercings and tattoos... and she looked sad. Then Leandra heard a word tumble from the woman's lips that sent a shock of electricity through her body. "Thasmudyan."
Peeking out her door, the coast clear, Leandra slipped down the stairwell and opened the heavy front door. She thought of going to Skive and asking him to fly her somewhere, but that would alert her mother that she was out of her room. If she went to Askari's house, they'd certainly tell on her - she couldn't appear and disappear like Askari could. So, Leandra shrugged and decided to go to town - Westbridge - simply because... she'd never been and she was bored.
It was a bit of a walk, but Leandra made decent time. Whenever a traveler passed her, she kept her gaze averted just in case they might have known she was her mother's daughter. She reached the gates and her mouth fell open. It was like... huge! The buildings, the soldiers, the people, even the smell - like food and body odor and - Leandra's eyes fell on the bench in Market Square. Who the hell was that?
Leandra crept closer, looking at the woman who barely wore clothes. She looked wild somehow, all those markings and piercings and tattoos... and she looked sad. Then Leandra heard a word tumble from the woman's lips that sent a shock of electricity through her body. "Thasmudyan."
Whoa... What?
Leandra walked beside her mother, her arms folded, petulant and irritated. She scuffed her feet, hoping to goad some sort of response out of her mother, but Sanria kept quiet. "So they'll make me not feel sick?"
"That is the plan, Leandra. Then, it's back to your room."
"I think it's stupid that you guys came after me like that."
"Well, Leandra, you may not believe it, but your father and I do love you - even if we are having our own difficulties."
"You guys always have difficulties. You need to get over it and get rid of Thasmudyan and get back with dad."
"That is none of your concern."
They arrived at the druid's grove without any other words passed between them. The whole thing was just stupid... there really wasn't any other word for it. Leandra waited, impatiently, as the Elder Druid came over, feeling her forehead, feeling her neck, and then sending small pulses of magic into her body. The only other time they'd done this was when she was young to test her magical abilities.
The druid paused and raised an eyebrow. "So? Am I sick or what?" Sanria gave Leandra a scathing look, sending her into silence. She was such an ass. The druid took in a breath and looked at Leandra, then Sanria, and back.
"Well... you are having sickness."
"Well whooptie-doo. I could have told you that."
"I'm sorry," Sanria interjected, "my daughter is in trouble and feels it is her duty to take it out on everyone."
"Pfft."
"Well, you, ah... how should I say this... you're... with child."
Leandra felt the blood rush to her head, thudding with the pulse of her heart. "What?!" both she and her mother shouted at once.
"Well, that's the cause of this sickness..."
Leandra wanted to shrink into nothing, to disappear, to vanish into thin air, to be anywhere but looking into her mother's shocked and disappointed gaze. "What... did you... do..."
"Mama... I..." her voice sounded like a little girl.
"Oh Gods... your father is going to lose his mind."
"That is the plan, Leandra. Then, it's back to your room."
"I think it's stupid that you guys came after me like that."
"Well, Leandra, you may not believe it, but your father and I do love you - even if we are having our own difficulties."
"You guys always have difficulties. You need to get over it and get rid of Thasmudyan and get back with dad."
"That is none of your concern."
They arrived at the druid's grove without any other words passed between them. The whole thing was just stupid... there really wasn't any other word for it. Leandra waited, impatiently, as the Elder Druid came over, feeling her forehead, feeling her neck, and then sending small pulses of magic into her body. The only other time they'd done this was when she was young to test her magical abilities.
The druid paused and raised an eyebrow. "So? Am I sick or what?" Sanria gave Leandra a scathing look, sending her into silence. She was such an ass. The druid took in a breath and looked at Leandra, then Sanria, and back.
"Well... you are having sickness."
"Well whooptie-doo. I could have told you that."
"I'm sorry," Sanria interjected, "my daughter is in trouble and feels it is her duty to take it out on everyone."
"Pfft."
"Well, you, ah... how should I say this... you're... with child."
Leandra felt the blood rush to her head, thudding with the pulse of her heart. "What?!" both she and her mother shouted at once.
"Well, that's the cause of this sickness..."
Leandra wanted to shrink into nothing, to disappear, to vanish into thin air, to be anywhere but looking into her mother's shocked and disappointed gaze. "What... did you... do..."
"Mama... I..." her voice sounded like a little girl.
"Oh Gods... your father is going to lose his mind."
Confronting Illusions
'So you have to sense it.'
"I guess."
Mirin sat across from Askari who stared down at the rug under his feet. She'd decided against going to Sanria and Gilean with the information on Claire. They didn't seem to be spending much time dwelling on her, and Mirin wasn't going to be the one to destroy that. It didn't anger her that they were happy and isolated from what was happening. Her mother, Claire, had made her choices and seemed to be paying the price... still...
'So when I get close-'
"I can help you get close, but I won't go in with you."
'Askari... you could help me a great deal.'
"No... I... can't."
'What happened to you?' Mirin telepathed with a sigh. "He turned into a chicken," Leandra snorted as she entered the room. She plopped down on the chair and smirked. "His racist sack of shit father slapped him across the face when he tried to stand up to him. He hasn't really been the same since."
Mirin turned her gaze on Askari. She narrowed the focus of her telepathy, speaking to her brother directly. 'Is what she says true?'
'Does it matter?'
'Of course it matters, Askari... did he strike you?'
"I know when I'm being excluded, I'll go make myself useful in this dump." Leandra got up and left the room, leaving Askari to make a long lingering sigh.
"Yes," Askari answered simply.
Mirin leaned over, taking her brother in her arms. Her response back was a stiff pat on her back as Askari pulled away. "I'll get you nearby, but I don't want to see him... ever."
'I understand.'
Thus it was that Mirin found herself on the edge of a wood, alone. She could sense the presence of the camp, the tingle of magic that only those with esper blood could decipher. She took a deep breath and stepped forward and through the camouflaged barrier.
"I guess."
Mirin sat across from Askari who stared down at the rug under his feet. She'd decided against going to Sanria and Gilean with the information on Claire. They didn't seem to be spending much time dwelling on her, and Mirin wasn't going to be the one to destroy that. It didn't anger her that they were happy and isolated from what was happening. Her mother, Claire, had made her choices and seemed to be paying the price... still...
'So when I get close-'
"I can help you get close, but I won't go in with you."
'Askari... you could help me a great deal.'
"No... I... can't."
'What happened to you?' Mirin telepathed with a sigh. "He turned into a chicken," Leandra snorted as she entered the room. She plopped down on the chair and smirked. "His racist sack of shit father slapped him across the face when he tried to stand up to him. He hasn't really been the same since."
Mirin turned her gaze on Askari. She narrowed the focus of her telepathy, speaking to her brother directly. 'Is what she says true?'
'Does it matter?'
'Of course it matters, Askari... did he strike you?'
"I know when I'm being excluded, I'll go make myself useful in this dump." Leandra got up and left the room, leaving Askari to make a long lingering sigh.
"Yes," Askari answered simply.
Mirin leaned over, taking her brother in her arms. Her response back was a stiff pat on her back as Askari pulled away. "I'll get you nearby, but I don't want to see him... ever."
'I understand.'
Thus it was that Mirin found herself on the edge of a wood, alone. She could sense the presence of the camp, the tingle of magic that only those with esper blood could decipher. She took a deep breath and stepped forward and through the camouflaged barrier.
Battle Scars
No sooner than the two men let go of her than Sanria scrambled, scooping Leandra in one arm and Orn in her other. The little boy fought hard against his mother, "Papa! Help Papa!" Sanria got to the door and looked at Orn, her eyes holding a seriousness not lost on the child.
"I'll help Papa, please, you have to help Leandra."
Orn set his jaw, a Colin in miniature, and nodded in agreement. Sanria whisked the children into the house and raced back outside and positioned herself between Colin and Velentham. "Stop this. Please. Both of you, I'm begging you both... stop."
"I'll stop when you agree to come with me and this beast knows his place."
"No! You will pay!"
Sanria turned to face Velentham, certain to keep in the dead center of the two men. "I can't go with you... my children are here, as is my hus- band. Please... understand."
"I will let you bring the children with us, my love."
"Sanria, move. Let me take care of him."
"No. No to both of you. Stop. You're both acting like animals. I am not an object and I will not be treated as though I don't have a choice!"
"Sanria, you had a choice and you made the wrong one. I'm here to fix that. They took you away from me, I'm only here to finish what we started."
"She said no Velentham. No!"
Velentham's glowing eyes locked on Sanria and she felt the pit of her stomach drop. He rushed forward, lifting her from her feet with the same speed he displayed before. He carried her high into the air, setting her on the side of the mountain that housed her cavern. He drifted back down as she clung to the side, balanced on the sliver of ledge where he placed her.
Far below she could see Colin glaring up. She had to get down there. Fast.
"I'll help Papa, please, you have to help Leandra."
Orn set his jaw, a Colin in miniature, and nodded in agreement. Sanria whisked the children into the house and raced back outside and positioned herself between Colin and Velentham. "Stop this. Please. Both of you, I'm begging you both... stop."
"I'll stop when you agree to come with me and this beast knows his place."
"No! You will pay!"
Sanria turned to face Velentham, certain to keep in the dead center of the two men. "I can't go with you... my children are here, as is my hus- band. Please... understand."
"I will let you bring the children with us, my love."
"Sanria, move. Let me take care of him."
"No. No to both of you. Stop. You're both acting like animals. I am not an object and I will not be treated as though I don't have a choice!"
"Sanria, you had a choice and you made the wrong one. I'm here to fix that. They took you away from me, I'm only here to finish what we started."
"She said no Velentham. No!"
Velentham's glowing eyes locked on Sanria and she felt the pit of her stomach drop. He rushed forward, lifting her from her feet with the same speed he displayed before. He carried her high into the air, setting her on the side of the mountain that housed her cavern. He drifted back down as she clung to the side, balanced on the sliver of ledge where he placed her.
Far below she could see Colin glaring up. She had to get down there. Fast.
A Break in the Clouds
"Miss... this boy... he calls me Papa."
Sanria looked over at the large man holding Orn. She knew Orn, but her mind trembled when it looked at Colin. "Yes... I don't... know why. He's my... son."
"And mine. He's just misbehaving. You know how children are," Velentham interjected.
"You, just just shut up for a minute," Colin said.
"My love," Velentham said, handing Leandra to her. "Why don't you put Leandra to bed."
"And miss... who am I?"
Sanria looked over at the big man and let her mind relax. The answer came without fighting it. "You're Colin."
"Colin... And you are?"
"Your wife."
Sanria started slowly up he stairs. "She's a little confused," Velentham said. "Why don't you hand the boy over and you can get going."
"I don't think she's the only one, but you. You seem to be trying to convince everyone of something here. And, to tell you the truth, I just don't like you. Miss," Colin called up after her. "do you want this guy to be here?"
Sanria felt a wave of - something - in her mind. "I... yes... he's alright."
"You see? Now, why don't you go ahead and hand my son to me and get on the move."
Sanria walked into Leandra's room and put her into the crib. The baby was smiling gently... smiling... Sanria caught a wisp of danger in her thoughts. Something was wrong. She rushed from the room and started down the stairs only to find her mind sinking back into the sluggish fog. She couldn't remember why she was rushing. She walked slowly to Orn and held out her hands.
"I want to stay with Papa. I don't want Papa to get hurt again." Sanria watched Orn with a mix of curiosity. She heard the little boy's whisper into his father's mind, "He touch you too. It made Mama sad."
"Miss... what's your name miss?" Colin suddenly asked.
"Sanria Stone..."
"Tell me Sanria... think... what's going on here?"
"I love... you. I couldn't... stop..."
"That's enough," Velentham growled. "OUT!"
"Sanria... why cant I remember any of this?"
"He... took... your memory away."
"You're fortunate that I'm tired," Velentham growled. "I can't keep this up."
Sanria looked over at the large man holding Orn. She knew Orn, but her mind trembled when it looked at Colin. "Yes... I don't... know why. He's my... son."
"And mine. He's just misbehaving. You know how children are," Velentham interjected.
"You, just just shut up for a minute," Colin said.
"My love," Velentham said, handing Leandra to her. "Why don't you put Leandra to bed."
"And miss... who am I?"
Sanria looked over at the big man and let her mind relax. The answer came without fighting it. "You're Colin."
"Colin... And you are?"
"Your wife."
Sanria started slowly up he stairs. "She's a little confused," Velentham said. "Why don't you hand the boy over and you can get going."
"I don't think she's the only one, but you. You seem to be trying to convince everyone of something here. And, to tell you the truth, I just don't like you. Miss," Colin called up after her. "do you want this guy to be here?"
Sanria felt a wave of - something - in her mind. "I... yes... he's alright."
"You see? Now, why don't you go ahead and hand my son to me and get on the move."
Sanria walked into Leandra's room and put her into the crib. The baby was smiling gently... smiling... Sanria caught a wisp of danger in her thoughts. Something was wrong. She rushed from the room and started down the stairs only to find her mind sinking back into the sluggish fog. She couldn't remember why she was rushing. She walked slowly to Orn and held out her hands.
"I want to stay with Papa. I don't want Papa to get hurt again." Sanria watched Orn with a mix of curiosity. She heard the little boy's whisper into his father's mind, "He touch you too. It made Mama sad."
"Miss... what's your name miss?" Colin suddenly asked.
"Sanria Stone..."
"Tell me Sanria... think... what's going on here?"
"I love... you. I couldn't... stop..."
"That's enough," Velentham growled. "OUT!"
"Sanria... why cant I remember any of this?"
"He... took... your memory away."
"You're fortunate that I'm tired," Velentham growled. "I can't keep this up."
Disjointed Reality
It was dread that suddenly washed over Sanria when the glowing eyes settled in the chair across the desk. Fenlauch rarely came for simple chats. His conversations with Sanria were reserved for matters of gravity. And somehow, Sanria knew, this was serious. "Is he okay," she whispered.
"Yes. The proceedure was a success."
"Ah!" Sanria smiled, relieved. "Where is he?"
"That, is why I've come to speak with you."
"I... okay." Sanria settled herself, quelling the fire of excitement that had ignited moments before. "What's happened?"
"We've brought him back and he is staying in Westbridge until his mind is able to heal."
"But, you said it worked..."
"It did, but there were, casualties in his memories."
"Casualties..."
"Think of it like this," Fenlauch said, letting out an exhale. "His mind is full of certain holes, holes that will not fill in, but are currently as soft as a sponge. If he attempts to fill them in now, he could face a collapse. His mind has to... set... if you will."
"Holes..."
"Sanria, when your friend, Throm, placed Colin into the vat of Black Makou, Colin was in stasis, his thoughts on you and his children."
"Yes..."
"His memories of you merged with that substance. That was why you alone could calm him. So when we removed the ichor from him..."
"He forgot me."
Sanria leaned back in her chair. She didn't remember to breathe until her lungs began to burn. Only then did she look up at Fenlauch. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"Will he recover, I mean, I know you said holes but..." Fenlauch shook his head slowly. "You must let him mend and perhaps then you can get to know him over again, but no. Your past with him is gone in his mind. You are the holes."
"What... what about his children? Orn... Leandra..."
"He may have vague recollections of them... but not..."
There was nothing she could say. Sanria leaned back in her chair, unable to even see for all the tears clouding her vision. 'At least he's alive, at least he's alive, at least...' but Sanria found herself going numb. She sat up and smoothed her robes. "I'll have to speak to Orn."
"Sanria, perhaps you should take a little time to-"
"And I'll tell Leandra, then I'll get to work on helping Radiant Heart with Westbridge."
"Sanria..."
"Thank you, Fenlauch. Thank you for helping him."
Sanria watched as the huge man rose and bowed slowly. "I believe you should take time to let yourself understand and heal. I will not force you out of here, but be aware that your clan needs you to be strong and coherent."
"I am aware," she whispered.
"If you have any questions, please come to me."
"Thank you."
Without the huge presence in the room, Sanria felt her body crush. She leaned forward, taking in a breath to let out a deep sob, when a bouquet of flowers appeared on her desk with a card written in druid script: "Thanks for earlier. If you're busy and stressed, smell the flowers. Enjoy while they last!"
"Yes. The proceedure was a success."
"Ah!" Sanria smiled, relieved. "Where is he?"
"That, is why I've come to speak with you."
"I... okay." Sanria settled herself, quelling the fire of excitement that had ignited moments before. "What's happened?"
"We've brought him back and he is staying in Westbridge until his mind is able to heal."
"But, you said it worked..."
"It did, but there were, casualties in his memories."
"Casualties..."
"Think of it like this," Fenlauch said, letting out an exhale. "His mind is full of certain holes, holes that will not fill in, but are currently as soft as a sponge. If he attempts to fill them in now, he could face a collapse. His mind has to... set... if you will."
"Holes..."
"Sanria, when your friend, Throm, placed Colin into the vat of Black Makou, Colin was in stasis, his thoughts on you and his children."
"Yes..."
"His memories of you merged with that substance. That was why you alone could calm him. So when we removed the ichor from him..."
"He forgot me."
Sanria leaned back in her chair. She didn't remember to breathe until her lungs began to burn. Only then did she look up at Fenlauch. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"Will he recover, I mean, I know you said holes but..." Fenlauch shook his head slowly. "You must let him mend and perhaps then you can get to know him over again, but no. Your past with him is gone in his mind. You are the holes."
"What... what about his children? Orn... Leandra..."
"He may have vague recollections of them... but not..."
There was nothing she could say. Sanria leaned back in her chair, unable to even see for all the tears clouding her vision. 'At least he's alive, at least he's alive, at least...' but Sanria found herself going numb. She sat up and smoothed her robes. "I'll have to speak to Orn."
"Sanria, perhaps you should take a little time to-"
"And I'll tell Leandra, then I'll get to work on helping Radiant Heart with Westbridge."
"Sanria..."
"Thank you, Fenlauch. Thank you for helping him."
Sanria watched as the huge man rose and bowed slowly. "I believe you should take time to let yourself understand and heal. I will not force you out of here, but be aware that your clan needs you to be strong and coherent."
"I am aware," she whispered.
"If you have any questions, please come to me."
"Thank you."
Without the huge presence in the room, Sanria felt her body crush. She leaned forward, taking in a breath to let out a deep sob, when a bouquet of flowers appeared on her desk with a card written in druid script: "Thanks for earlier. If you're busy and stressed, smell the flowers. Enjoy while they last!"
Cards, Picnics, and Skeletons (1-3)
The days had been consuming Sanria, bleeding from one into the other with no end in sight. Since she had "welcomed" Thasmudyan into her home, she chose to stay clear of it and keep Nioma with her at the castle. She knew Leandra wouldn't cause much trouble and so she buried her nose in books, trying not to think about Colin being gone, Orn wanting to fight, or the ex-lover she was harboring from an entire government. Still, regardless of how hard she tried, the real world was there with her, peering over her shoulder as she read, whispering in her ears that things were closing in over her and suggesting that she would soon drown in it.
Enmach entered, cooing to Nioma, who was growing steadily. Sanria felt a pang of jealousy. When Enmach held the little girl, her bright blue eyes were rapt with attention. "I wanted to have her see you today," Enmach said, her eyes still on Nioma. "You've been busy quite a lot, lately."
"I know. Unfortunately it can't be helped." Sanria ran a hand through her hair. "There's so much to do and-"
"There is so much waiting to do, you mean." Sanria let her hand drop to her thigh and gave a singular nod. "Correct."
"Perhaps you should go home, Sanria. Relax."
"I can't... go home."
"Ah, Sir Thasmudyan."
"Right."
"And you can't think of anything else to do than try not to worry while you worry?" Enmach said with a knowing smile.
"That's not really fair, you know."
Sanria reached out to take Nioma when a swirl of golden dust appeared on her hand. It sparkled, then briefly lit, and when it faded, a card was between her fingers. On the front was the TriPower insignia, on the back, a summons, 'You are cordially invited At Midnight.' "What in the nine..."
"It appears to be a summons," Enmach smirked.
"But, from whom? Who in TriPower could be sending me anything like this? Do you think they could know about him?"
"About..."
"Thasmudyan, what if they know I'm keeping him and this whole Westbridge thing could be-"
"It's in druidic script." Sanria looked at at Enmach as the woman gave a small smile. "You should go," she said.
"What do you know of this?"
"Nothing, I assure you. But who do you know in TriPower that uses such a language?" Sanria stared at Enmach as the woman stared back, waiting. It finally hit her. "Ror..." she whispered.
"I'll watch over Nioma and ensure she gets to bed on time-"
"But-"
"And you should seek out this elf and meet him."
"Enmach, I can't go, I have-"
"Nothing to do but wait. So please, for the health of yourself and my own sanity... go."
It was much later that Sanria walked through the Haon'Dor, her hands on the trunks of trees. The ancient beings guided her with quiet whispers, telling her which paths to take to reach Ror. She could hear the humor in their voices as they guided her to the darkest, most remote, most ancient place in the forest to reveal a very tanned elven man lit by unknown light with a picnic basket at his side.
No. The immediate voice in the back of Sanria's skull stepped up with authority, throttling the absolutely shocked and guiltily smitten part, sending it into a quiet submission. The immediate voice then reminded her, in no uncertain terms, that this was a business trip, and that there was something Ror wanted: Throm's information. Calm descended over her as she moved into the tiny space between the trees. "Sir Ror."
"Ah, milady, how good to see you again!"
"I received your card..."
"Indeed! I assume you had no trouble to find the way?"
"No. The trees speak."
"I knew you'd understand."
Sanria's mind was reeling. Why would he bring her out at midnight, in a secluded part of the wood to ask her about Throm, knowing she wouldn't tell him anything? What was his angle? "I'm certain you didn't ask me
here for a picnic, did you?"
"Well, a picnic all by yourself without friends is... very lonely you know... And I figured you might want to get out of everything as well, and just sit, chat, do nothing. And eat of course."
"I... I've been very busy lately," she replied, quite unconvincingly.
"Apple?"
Slowly, Sanria defrosted by degrees. The sound of the river was not far off, and in the moonlight, could be seen reflecting between the trunks of the ancient trees. She brought up the things troubling her, letting the nature that surrounded her lift her burdens as it always did. She found herself inquiring after his studies, recalling his involvement with the Research Division. "So... how is TriPower..." she asked carefully.
"Still there," Ror replied with a grin.
"So... there's nothing going on... that you're aware of that might not be so... good? Like... lifestream research on living subjects?"
"Go on, I am interested."
"So am I," she said in a whisper. "I've merely heard rumors, is all."
She suddenly found him sitting at her side, whispering back, "You whisper too much. Which rumors?"
'People didn't do this,' she thought. 'No one invites someone out on a roman- a picnic at midnight and discusses business, do they?' She cleared her throat and forced herself to stare out into the darkness. "Simply rumors that there are people in your governmental organization that do research on others for their personal gain. Those with the capability to control the lifestream."
"And...then you thought of me?"
"Given your line of work, yes." Sanria turned to face him, steeling herself against the face staring back at her. "Not implying anything, of course. Just that you might know if the rumors are true."
"I feel kind of... flattered," Ror said, smiling. "Thank you."
Of course he wouldn't know anything. He wasn't at the higher levels of TriPower... he studied books in libraries. She felt foolish. "I'm sorry. I believe I may have implied you knew more than you do."
"I told you before that there are things I know nothing about. And you might also recall I wanted to dig and research into a certain someone and his research."
And there it was. Sanria felt herself relax. She had been wrong about this picnic, and Enmach, too. She felt herself strengthen, she knew the reason would eventually come out, and it did. The basket of food - enough for two - was a ruse. It was time to get down business.
Sanria stood up and walked toward the trees. The moonlight sparkled on the river beyond, adding light to the darkness. "I simply can't do that. I'm sorry." She felt his hands on her shoulders and immediately stiffened.
"It's ok," he said.
"I am sorry. Truly." She turned to look up at him. "I know how frustrating it can be to see something you want right before you and not be able to get it. And I have the knowledge, at least part of it, you seek."
"It is ok. I did not invite you to discuss that, nor did I push for further information. But you must understand that if I am kept in the dark about such difficult things, I can not give answers in the future either."
"Throm is the past, my past. I'd prefer to keep him there."
"Well, Throm is also the Tripower's past, which makes it my past and present and future. And unfinished things from the past always come back sooner or later, whether you like it or not. I suspect - with so many problems in love and life - I do not..."
"You will simply have to discover your information some other way. I'm sorry."
Sanria walked to her pack and prepared to leave. She knew he couldn't be a friend to her when all he wanted was to know Throm's information. She knew where the lab was, knew what Throm had there, but still did not know everything, she was sure of it. One thing Throm had always left behind in a trail were secrets. She knew that each time she met with Ror, the need to know would be the reason, and each time would end in the same manner. She proposed they keep apart, a suggestion that was rejected by the elven man. "But clearly I called you here to have a picnic," Ror said.
"Alright. Then shall we finish our picnic?"
"I am contemplating whether that is the right thing to do. The question that I ask myself, if I am a friend to you, do I smile and play the game, avoiding that which is pretty much impossible to avoid... Or do I hurt you, so you may heal in time? Hurt now, or hurt later, that is the question..."
"If we can spare one another pain, then it would be best to be out with it."
"Fine, so be it. Who recruited Ror into the TriPower?" Ror asked, waiting quietly.
Sanria's mind screamed. Lies. From the moment she met him, lies. Ror had been hiding the facts. For what? Snippets of conversations flew into her mind, conversations held in private from long ago. Even Throm's own people did not trust him completely, and here was proof. Right before her face.
"Why would you pretend not to know of him?"
"I have my orders."
"I suppose you do. I thank you for being up front with me now."
"I disobeyed part of my orders, if Throm ever finds out..."
"Throm is dead," Sanria hissed. "Unless he wanted to get away from me so terribly that he faked the whole thing and had me take my own life in the process."
"You do not seem dead to me. So why would I lie?"
"They brought me back to life." Why was she telling him this? She heard him whisper from behind her, and she turned to face him. "If he is alive, you can take your orders right to him and ask him for his research yourself. I'll not set foot near his home, near his research, near his family-" Sanria fought to keep her emotions in check, but fresh betrayal, old wounds, and heartache allowed the tears to seep into her eyes. It was then she felt Ror's arms around her, shocking her out of her pain, sending her mind spinning again. This was not right. Not at all. She pulled back enough to look up at the elven face. "Please don't ask me."
"Lifestream research," Ror began, "done by people I am not aware of inside the Tripower. I need to learn about Throm. Because I need to know who can be trusted. If you want to stay out of it, give me a key and directions and I figure everything out for myself and I swear I will never ask or tell again."
"Then stop looking for Throm. Thasmudyan... was the subject."
Shame washed over Sanria as she walked away from Ror. How easily she had given up Thasmudyan. And why? To take the heat off of her own self? To get Thasmudyan out of her cavern? To help... She felt Ror's arm around her. He was still asking questions, though now about Thasmudyan, about his place in TriPower so many years ago. It incensed her. Ror was from the very same government that had passed through its doors not only the elf, but Thasmudyan and Throm. And Ror could not have known it, the way he answered the questions, the quirks of his mannerisms, the way he would pointedly let her bluster out her anger and as cool as you please continue his thoughts... he was so much like the man whose research he was chasing, like the man who had fallen into an abyss where Sanria could not follow. She had to get away and stay away. "Picnic next thursday?" Ror asked, after everything she had shouted at him. And the words were out before she knew they were coming: "Send me a card."
Enmach entered, cooing to Nioma, who was growing steadily. Sanria felt a pang of jealousy. When Enmach held the little girl, her bright blue eyes were rapt with attention. "I wanted to have her see you today," Enmach said, her eyes still on Nioma. "You've been busy quite a lot, lately."
"I know. Unfortunately it can't be helped." Sanria ran a hand through her hair. "There's so much to do and-"
"There is so much waiting to do, you mean." Sanria let her hand drop to her thigh and gave a singular nod. "Correct."
"Perhaps you should go home, Sanria. Relax."
"I can't... go home."
"Ah, Sir Thasmudyan."
"Right."
"And you can't think of anything else to do than try not to worry while you worry?" Enmach said with a knowing smile.
"That's not really fair, you know."
Sanria reached out to take Nioma when a swirl of golden dust appeared on her hand. It sparkled, then briefly lit, and when it faded, a card was between her fingers. On the front was the TriPower insignia, on the back, a summons, 'You are cordially invited At Midnight.' "What in the nine..."
"It appears to be a summons," Enmach smirked.
"But, from whom? Who in TriPower could be sending me anything like this? Do you think they could know about him?"
"About..."
"Thasmudyan, what if they know I'm keeping him and this whole Westbridge thing could be-"
"It's in druidic script." Sanria looked at at Enmach as the woman gave a small smile. "You should go," she said.
"What do you know of this?"
"Nothing, I assure you. But who do you know in TriPower that uses such a language?" Sanria stared at Enmach as the woman stared back, waiting. It finally hit her. "Ror..." she whispered.
"I'll watch over Nioma and ensure she gets to bed on time-"
"But-"
"And you should seek out this elf and meet him."
"Enmach, I can't go, I have-"
"Nothing to do but wait. So please, for the health of yourself and my own sanity... go."
It was much later that Sanria walked through the Haon'Dor, her hands on the trunks of trees. The ancient beings guided her with quiet whispers, telling her which paths to take to reach Ror. She could hear the humor in their voices as they guided her to the darkest, most remote, most ancient place in the forest to reveal a very tanned elven man lit by unknown light with a picnic basket at his side.
No. The immediate voice in the back of Sanria's skull stepped up with authority, throttling the absolutely shocked and guiltily smitten part, sending it into a quiet submission. The immediate voice then reminded her, in no uncertain terms, that this was a business trip, and that there was something Ror wanted: Throm's information. Calm descended over her as she moved into the tiny space between the trees. "Sir Ror."
"Ah, milady, how good to see you again!"
"I received your card..."
"Indeed! I assume you had no trouble to find the way?"
"No. The trees speak."
"I knew you'd understand."
Sanria's mind was reeling. Why would he bring her out at midnight, in a secluded part of the wood to ask her about Throm, knowing she wouldn't tell him anything? What was his angle? "I'm certain you didn't ask me
here for a picnic, did you?"
"Well, a picnic all by yourself without friends is... very lonely you know... And I figured you might want to get out of everything as well, and just sit, chat, do nothing. And eat of course."
"I... I've been very busy lately," she replied, quite unconvincingly.
"Apple?"
Slowly, Sanria defrosted by degrees. The sound of the river was not far off, and in the moonlight, could be seen reflecting between the trunks of the ancient trees. She brought up the things troubling her, letting the nature that surrounded her lift her burdens as it always did. She found herself inquiring after his studies, recalling his involvement with the Research Division. "So... how is TriPower..." she asked carefully.
"Still there," Ror replied with a grin.
"So... there's nothing going on... that you're aware of that might not be so... good? Like... lifestream research on living subjects?"
"Go on, I am interested."
"So am I," she said in a whisper. "I've merely heard rumors, is all."
She suddenly found him sitting at her side, whispering back, "You whisper too much. Which rumors?"
'People didn't do this,' she thought. 'No one invites someone out on a roman- a picnic at midnight and discusses business, do they?' She cleared her throat and forced herself to stare out into the darkness. "Simply rumors that there are people in your governmental organization that do research on others for their personal gain. Those with the capability to control the lifestream."
"And...then you thought of me?"
"Given your line of work, yes." Sanria turned to face him, steeling herself against the face staring back at her. "Not implying anything, of course. Just that you might know if the rumors are true."
"I feel kind of... flattered," Ror said, smiling. "Thank you."
Of course he wouldn't know anything. He wasn't at the higher levels of TriPower... he studied books in libraries. She felt foolish. "I'm sorry. I believe I may have implied you knew more than you do."
"I told you before that there are things I know nothing about. And you might also recall I wanted to dig and research into a certain someone and his research."
And there it was. Sanria felt herself relax. She had been wrong about this picnic, and Enmach, too. She felt herself strengthen, she knew the reason would eventually come out, and it did. The basket of food - enough for two - was a ruse. It was time to get down business.
Sanria stood up and walked toward the trees. The moonlight sparkled on the river beyond, adding light to the darkness. "I simply can't do that. I'm sorry." She felt his hands on her shoulders and immediately stiffened.
"It's ok," he said.
"I am sorry. Truly." She turned to look up at him. "I know how frustrating it can be to see something you want right before you and not be able to get it. And I have the knowledge, at least part of it, you seek."
"It is ok. I did not invite you to discuss that, nor did I push for further information. But you must understand that if I am kept in the dark about such difficult things, I can not give answers in the future either."
"Throm is the past, my past. I'd prefer to keep him there."
"Well, Throm is also the Tripower's past, which makes it my past and present and future. And unfinished things from the past always come back sooner or later, whether you like it or not. I suspect - with so many problems in love and life - I do not..."
"You will simply have to discover your information some other way. I'm sorry."
Sanria walked to her pack and prepared to leave. She knew he couldn't be a friend to her when all he wanted was to know Throm's information. She knew where the lab was, knew what Throm had there, but still did not know everything, she was sure of it. One thing Throm had always left behind in a trail were secrets. She knew that each time she met with Ror, the need to know would be the reason, and each time would end in the same manner. She proposed they keep apart, a suggestion that was rejected by the elven man. "But clearly I called you here to have a picnic," Ror said.
"Alright. Then shall we finish our picnic?"
"I am contemplating whether that is the right thing to do. The question that I ask myself, if I am a friend to you, do I smile and play the game, avoiding that which is pretty much impossible to avoid... Or do I hurt you, so you may heal in time? Hurt now, or hurt later, that is the question..."
"If we can spare one another pain, then it would be best to be out with it."
"Fine, so be it. Who recruited Ror into the TriPower?" Ror asked, waiting quietly.
Sanria's mind screamed. Lies. From the moment she met him, lies. Ror had been hiding the facts. For what? Snippets of conversations flew into her mind, conversations held in private from long ago. Even Throm's own people did not trust him completely, and here was proof. Right before her face.
"Why would you pretend not to know of him?"
"I have my orders."
"I suppose you do. I thank you for being up front with me now."
"I disobeyed part of my orders, if Throm ever finds out..."
"Throm is dead," Sanria hissed. "Unless he wanted to get away from me so terribly that he faked the whole thing and had me take my own life in the process."
"You do not seem dead to me. So why would I lie?"
"They brought me back to life." Why was she telling him this? She heard him whisper from behind her, and she turned to face him. "If he is alive, you can take your orders right to him and ask him for his research yourself. I'll not set foot near his home, near his research, near his family-" Sanria fought to keep her emotions in check, but fresh betrayal, old wounds, and heartache allowed the tears to seep into her eyes. It was then she felt Ror's arms around her, shocking her out of her pain, sending her mind spinning again. This was not right. Not at all. She pulled back enough to look up at the elven face. "Please don't ask me."
"Lifestream research," Ror began, "done by people I am not aware of inside the Tripower. I need to learn about Throm. Because I need to know who can be trusted. If you want to stay out of it, give me a key and directions and I figure everything out for myself and I swear I will never ask or tell again."
"Then stop looking for Throm. Thasmudyan... was the subject."
Shame washed over Sanria as she walked away from Ror. How easily she had given up Thasmudyan. And why? To take the heat off of her own self? To get Thasmudyan out of her cavern? To help... She felt Ror's arm around her. He was still asking questions, though now about Thasmudyan, about his place in TriPower so many years ago. It incensed her. Ror was from the very same government that had passed through its doors not only the elf, but Thasmudyan and Throm. And Ror could not have known it, the way he answered the questions, the quirks of his mannerisms, the way he would pointedly let her bluster out her anger and as cool as you please continue his thoughts... he was so much like the man whose research he was chasing, like the man who had fallen into an abyss where Sanria could not follow. She had to get away and stay away. "Picnic next thursday?" Ror asked, after everything she had shouted at him. And the words were out before she knew they were coming: "Send me a card."
New Arrival
The birth was as simple as Sanria had anticipated. Of course, there was the obligatory pain and blood, but she had done this before. In fact, as she watched Colin cradling the bundle protectively to his chest, she had done this five times now. Five children, one dead, one fully grown and with his own life and responsibilities, two teenagers, and one tiny infant who was the most unexpected of them all. Surprise.
Colin was elated, as he always was, at the newest Stone. Sanria watched him cuddle the little girl who stayed contentedly quiet throughout all of the proceedings -a sleepy little bundle who seemed to need little in her first moments in the world. Colin, Sanria thought, was perfectly fine to insulate himself in this cavern so long as she was in it with him. As predicted, he did not want Thasmudyan around, he would no longer accept healings. Simply stated, he did not want Sanria to have the chance to get close to Thasmudyan again. She could do nothing but relent.
Orn and Leandra both came into the room, Orn taking a few moments to look over the sleeping baby, then passing her to Leandra who seemed to coo in a way that Sanria assumed was just her hormones. This child was due to her meddling, Sanria thought, but she could not be angry. The only thing Leandra wanted was to have her mother and father together again, and through the perfect storm of circumstances, she was to have it. Soon enough, she'd be a mother herself. It was a thought Sanria had to save for another time.
The sleeping infant was passed back to her mother, and Sanria laid down in the bed, resting in the pillows with a sigh. This would have to be the last one. She closed her eyes and listened to Colin's baritone voice, chatting with Orn and Leandra. The entire family, present in one room for the first time in... a very long time. Sanria looked down at the baby, running a finger on her cheek, and the infant opened her eyes. Sanria's heart stopped. Looking back at her was a pair of the bluest eyes she had seen - exactly like Thasmudyan's.
Colin was elated, as he always was, at the newest Stone. Sanria watched him cuddle the little girl who stayed contentedly quiet throughout all of the proceedings -a sleepy little bundle who seemed to need little in her first moments in the world. Colin, Sanria thought, was perfectly fine to insulate himself in this cavern so long as she was in it with him. As predicted, he did not want Thasmudyan around, he would no longer accept healings. Simply stated, he did not want Sanria to have the chance to get close to Thasmudyan again. She could do nothing but relent.
Orn and Leandra both came into the room, Orn taking a few moments to look over the sleeping baby, then passing her to Leandra who seemed to coo in a way that Sanria assumed was just her hormones. This child was due to her meddling, Sanria thought, but she could not be angry. The only thing Leandra wanted was to have her mother and father together again, and through the perfect storm of circumstances, she was to have it. Soon enough, she'd be a mother herself. It was a thought Sanria had to save for another time.
The sleeping infant was passed back to her mother, and Sanria laid down in the bed, resting in the pillows with a sigh. This would have to be the last one. She closed her eyes and listened to Colin's baritone voice, chatting with Orn and Leandra. The entire family, present in one room for the first time in... a very long time. Sanria looked down at the baby, running a finger on her cheek, and the infant opened her eyes. Sanria's heart stopped. Looking back at her was a pair of the bluest eyes she had seen - exactly like Thasmudyan's.
By Forces Known
Sanria knew something was definitely wrong when Colin didn't accompany her to bed that night. She wasn't sure where he had gone and while it worried her a little, she also understood that he may very well be taking care of other things. She stayed up, reading with Leandra nearby until the man slogged into the room. "Colin... where were you?"
"I ah... was training."
"Training? You haven't trained in... a long time."
"Yeah."
Something was definitely wrong here. "Please, what is it?"
"I had a long talk with Velentham." And there it was. Sanria sighed and shook her head, closing her book.
"What did he say?"
"A lot, actually. I really think he should leave. He threatened me, well, I guess I threatened him back but still..."
"What happened?"
Colin repeated the things Velentham had told him and the blood drained from Sanria's face. "It isn't true, is it?" he asked her when discussing Thasmudyan.
"Well... I..." Sanria knew she couldn't hide it. "Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "You said you didn't feel anything."
"Because it didn't matter, Colin. No matter what I felt, I chose you."
"Yeah."
The look of pain on Colin's face tore Sanria's heart to pieces. She wanted to make it go away, but he continued asking her, and she continued to confirm what Velentham had said. "Do you think about them when you're with me?" he asked, looking down. The breath caught in Sanria's throat. How could she deny that many a time she had wanted the man at her side to not be Colin, but someone else?
"Sometimes..." she whispered. She looked over at the pain on Colin's face and turned him to face her. "I don't think you should ask me any other questions."
"Why?"
"Because they don't matter."
Sanria waited, hoping that the message would sink in. Hoping Colin would under- stand that she was here, with him, and not the others. At long last, he did. "You're right, damn it. We're together and all that matters is us."
"That's right," Sanria replied, pulling him into an embrace. "I'll have a talk with Velentham - he needs to be set straight."
"Do you think that's wise? I mean, he's proven he'll say anything. He means to take you away."
"Take me away?" Sanria shook her head. "I think it will be fine. If he said that, he'll not do anything to me. He needs to hear it again, I'm with you."
"I ah... was training."
"Training? You haven't trained in... a long time."
"Yeah."
Something was definitely wrong here. "Please, what is it?"
"I had a long talk with Velentham." And there it was. Sanria sighed and shook her head, closing her book.
"What did he say?"
"A lot, actually. I really think he should leave. He threatened me, well, I guess I threatened him back but still..."
"What happened?"
Colin repeated the things Velentham had told him and the blood drained from Sanria's face. "It isn't true, is it?" he asked her when discussing Thasmudyan.
"Well... I..." Sanria knew she couldn't hide it. "Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "You said you didn't feel anything."
"Because it didn't matter, Colin. No matter what I felt, I chose you."
"Yeah."
The look of pain on Colin's face tore Sanria's heart to pieces. She wanted to make it go away, but he continued asking her, and she continued to confirm what Velentham had said. "Do you think about them when you're with me?" he asked, looking down. The breath caught in Sanria's throat. How could she deny that many a time she had wanted the man at her side to not be Colin, but someone else?
"Sometimes..." she whispered. She looked over at the pain on Colin's face and turned him to face her. "I don't think you should ask me any other questions."
"Why?"
"Because they don't matter."
Sanria waited, hoping that the message would sink in. Hoping Colin would under- stand that she was here, with him, and not the others. At long last, he did. "You're right, damn it. We're together and all that matters is us."
"That's right," Sanria replied, pulling him into an embrace. "I'll have a talk with Velentham - he needs to be set straight."
"Do you think that's wise? I mean, he's proven he'll say anything. He means to take you away."
"Take me away?" Sanria shook her head. "I think it will be fine. If he said that, he'll not do anything to me. He needs to hear it again, I'm with you."
Blushing Rose
Sanria, Colin, and Orn sat up in the boy's room. He had grown so much, so quickly and looked all of three rather than the infant he still should have been. Sanria rested her hand over her stomach and patted lightly. Her hope was that Leandra would come quickly enough to have a brother that wasn't years her senior. At the very least, she would have a sister or brother in the child that would be joining them from Arlenia. She watched Colin tickle Orn and a tiny smile crept onto her face. There was joy to be had here.
The tinkling of bells sounded, pulling Sanria and Colin from their play with Orn. "I'll go see who it is," Sanria volunteered, and headed down to the door. Upon opening it, she saw Gilean along with a glowing purple woman for whom her mind had no remembrance, but stories told her was an integral part of her return.
"I don't want to keep you from your family," Gilean said, "I was just hoping you might be able to help me with something."
"Would you like to ask over tea?" Sanria led the way into her kitchen and busily made preparations for tea. She had remembered more of how to do it the more she made it, as though the very muscles of her body had minds of their own and needed no thought over the matter.
"I would like to move forward in my relationship with Claire... but it would seem prudent to ensure that I don't already have a family out there somewhere," Gilean said.
"Well that definitely makes sense. You could have someone out there like Colin."
Sanria paused, realizing she had potentially made Claire feel very uncomfortable. "Not to say that... oh... forgive me."
"No. You are correct. It is why I don't wish to move forward."
"Not that it would change how I feel... but... anyway," Gilean said. "You see, most of my past is a mystery to me. It seems that I am actually a celestial being."
"Celestial..." Sanria asked, her brow furrowing. She should have known what the word meant, obviously, but her mind drew a complete blank.
"You don't remember your time spent in that plane, with the celestials, do you?"
"No. Only what Colin has told me, and it seems he doesn't want me to repeat the experience."
It was an experience that Sanria could not recall. It was the same black wall of nothing that greeted her for many thousands of memories that should be easily recalled. "When you returned, I noticed you brought a rose with you, from that place," Gilean said.
"That one?" Sanria asked, pointing to the perfectly shaped rose that sat in a vase on her kitchen counter.
"I was hoping I might be able to borrow it. To study it."
Sanria's stomach fell to her feet as she looked from the fiery purple Claire to Gilean. Let her treasure out of her sight... the thought of it was almost more than she could bear, and she didn't even understand why.
The tinkling of bells sounded, pulling Sanria and Colin from their play with Orn. "I'll go see who it is," Sanria volunteered, and headed down to the door. Upon opening it, she saw Gilean along with a glowing purple woman for whom her mind had no remembrance, but stories told her was an integral part of her return.
"I don't want to keep you from your family," Gilean said, "I was just hoping you might be able to help me with something."
"Would you like to ask over tea?" Sanria led the way into her kitchen and busily made preparations for tea. She had remembered more of how to do it the more she made it, as though the very muscles of her body had minds of their own and needed no thought over the matter.
"I would like to move forward in my relationship with Claire... but it would seem prudent to ensure that I don't already have a family out there somewhere," Gilean said.
"Well that definitely makes sense. You could have someone out there like Colin."
Sanria paused, realizing she had potentially made Claire feel very uncomfortable. "Not to say that... oh... forgive me."
"No. You are correct. It is why I don't wish to move forward."
"Not that it would change how I feel... but... anyway," Gilean said. "You see, most of my past is a mystery to me. It seems that I am actually a celestial being."
"Celestial..." Sanria asked, her brow furrowing. She should have known what the word meant, obviously, but her mind drew a complete blank.
"You don't remember your time spent in that plane, with the celestials, do you?"
"No. Only what Colin has told me, and it seems he doesn't want me to repeat the experience."
It was an experience that Sanria could not recall. It was the same black wall of nothing that greeted her for many thousands of memories that should be easily recalled. "When you returned, I noticed you brought a rose with you, from that place," Gilean said.
"That one?" Sanria asked, pointing to the perfectly shaped rose that sat in a vase on her kitchen counter.
"I was hoping I might be able to borrow it. To study it."
Sanria's stomach fell to her feet as she looked from the fiery purple Claire to Gilean. Let her treasure out of her sight... the thought of it was almost more than she could bear, and she didn't even understand why.
Returned!
Askari took Leandra to his tent. While the outside was nothing to be impressed with, the inside was much larger, and full of all sorts of things that he said he had created himself using magic. They had talked for hours about little nothings, about their families and how much parents sucked and were stupid, then about themselves, their bodies... even Leandra's own magic didn't feel that good.
The next day she woke up and Askari was gone. It didn't matter. Leandra sat on the edge of the bed getting dressed. She'd probably go out and see what the Esper camp was like, maybe talk to the trees to figure out where she was, and then see Askari when he got back from wherever he was. But she didn't get that far.
Askari had come back to tell her that her dad and mom were at his house. She couldn't believe it. Part of her thought it was really cool that her dad would leave the cavern just to find her. The other part of her was terrified because she knew for him to leave the cavern to find her mean that he was utterly, thoroughly pissed. She'd have to go back.
And so she did. Her mother and father, of course, treated her like she'd done the worst thing in the world by leaving. She tried to explain that she couldn't live in the house seeing how her dad acted like a dog following around her mother who acted like he didn't exist, but in the end, she was relegated to a term of confinement (grounded!) in her room.
They didn't know that Askari popped in and spent vast parts of the day with her, nor that he spent vast parts of the night with her too. In fact, nothing would have been wrong at all if it weren't for the sick feeling she'd started getting all the time. So sick sometimes that her mom couldn't even fix it.
The next day she woke up and Askari was gone. It didn't matter. Leandra sat on the edge of the bed getting dressed. She'd probably go out and see what the Esper camp was like, maybe talk to the trees to figure out where she was, and then see Askari when he got back from wherever he was. But she didn't get that far.
Askari had come back to tell her that her dad and mom were at his house. She couldn't believe it. Part of her thought it was really cool that her dad would leave the cavern just to find her. The other part of her was terrified because she knew for him to leave the cavern to find her mean that he was utterly, thoroughly pissed. She'd have to go back.
And so she did. Her mother and father, of course, treated her like she'd done the worst thing in the world by leaving. She tried to explain that she couldn't live in the house seeing how her dad acted like a dog following around her mother who acted like he didn't exist, but in the end, she was relegated to a term of confinement (grounded!) in her room.
They didn't know that Askari popped in and spent vast parts of the day with her, nor that he spent vast parts of the night with her too. In fact, nothing would have been wrong at all if it weren't for the sick feeling she'd started getting all the time. So sick sometimes that her mom couldn't even fix it.
Turning Tide
The next day had come and gone and Sanria was once again laying in bed with Gilean, taking stock of everything. Gilean had noted digging on the grave, and Sanria had to fess up to her feelings - that Velentham had ruined her life. Gilean stared at her for a moment before reminding her that her life wasn't ruined. He was there, their family was there, even Colin had been given back his memories and while not with her, had the knowledge of what family he did have - Orn, Leandra, and his grandchildren.
Still, Sanria felt the loss of the first child Velentham took, and the loss of the second she had done in herself. Then she finally admitted it, the feeling she'd been holding as secret since the return of Colin's mind. "I don't think I can do this."
She was showered in love - held, kissed, reassured. It was the first time she'd felt, strangely enough, that Gilean wanted her and was ready to do anything to keep her around. For the first time in a while she felt worthy... but still the small feeling maintained its grip on the edge of her thoughts.
They made love, and Gilean put a hand to her stomach, sending his own strange magic into her and she felt it. "How..." she whispered. To have a child, already, after everything, she knew he had to have orchestrated things.
"Life will always find a way. Now we can look forward, and he will help us do that."
Something melted away from her, something that held her captive and circling the abyss. Suddenly, she was back on track, she was with the man she married, a man she loved, and they were going to have their family. "I assure you," Gilean said, "I am going to do anything and everything for my family." For the first time Sanria heard and understood that his statement included her.
Still, Sanria felt the loss of the first child Velentham took, and the loss of the second she had done in herself. Then she finally admitted it, the feeling she'd been holding as secret since the return of Colin's mind. "I don't think I can do this."
She was showered in love - held, kissed, reassured. It was the first time she'd felt, strangely enough, that Gilean wanted her and was ready to do anything to keep her around. For the first time in a while she felt worthy... but still the small feeling maintained its grip on the edge of her thoughts.
They made love, and Gilean put a hand to her stomach, sending his own strange magic into her and she felt it. "How..." she whispered. To have a child, already, after everything, she knew he had to have orchestrated things.
"Life will always find a way. Now we can look forward, and he will help us do that."
Something melted away from her, something that held her captive and circling the abyss. Suddenly, she was back on track, she was with the man she married, a man she loved, and they were going to have their family. "I assure you," Gilean said, "I am going to do anything and everything for my family." For the first time Sanria heard and understood that his statement included her.
Lifting the Veil (1-2)
Colin crouched beside a large tree, peering out from around the trunk at Velentham as the insane celestial tried to bait Gilean out of the warded protection of the cottage. Gilean had reached out mentally to he and Orn then Velentham had shown up, hoping that this would be a chance to force the return of Sanria. Orn had then arrived beside Colin before quickly transporting the two of them to the druid grove. The quickly begged for assistance form the few druids there, and while most where reluctant to get involved, two of the younger ones had agreed to assist.
Now Colin found himself waiting for an opening while Gilean, Orn, and the two druids bent nature and magic to their will, sending animated trees and rays of light at the taunting madman. As two of the trees converged on Velentham, Colin took his chance, rushing from cover and charging toward Velentham from the side.
Colin was met with the battered body of Kaliadra being tossed at him like a discarded ragdoll with minimal effort form Velentham. Colin instinctively dropped his blades and did his best to catch the broken elf, falling to the ground but managing to spare Kaliadra most of the impact. However, he was vulnerable.
Before he could even react, the celestial was inside his mind. Colin could feel the rough tendrils battering their way through his psyche and heard words spoken as if from a distance, 'Oh... this... he doesn't remember? Cousin! You say I'm a monster? What do you say - a man who uses the disadvantage of another to marry his wife?'
Colin grasped the sides of his head futilely. For all of his strength he could do nothing against this mental intrusion. He was completely at Velentham's mercy, and again, the celestial's voice filtered into his ears, 'What do you say? Let's let him remember, shall we?!'
'No!' But it wasn't Colin who said it. Suddenly, with a rough but precise shove, all the gaps were filled. As simply as a switch being flipped, Colin remembered everything. The memories came in a flood: he and Sanria on the beach, carrying Sanria in his arms to be married, years spent with her wandering dark landscapes, the birth of Orn, the birth of Leandra, struggling to be a father and husband while afflicted by instability. It was all back, and for a moment it was glorious.
Then the new memories merged with the current memories, and it was almost too much. Here he had been. He was back. He had even been with Sanria, unknowingly forming a new love for her even without the memories... but Gilean. How could his friend have taken advantage of his condition like this? How could he have taken Sanria, Colin's wife, as his own? No, this was all wrong. How could he?
The crack of stiff wood against body and a howl of pain brought Colin back to the present. He looked up to see Velentham staggering aside from Orn. Orn. His son, who he loved dearly.
The memories would have to wait. The questions would have to wait. The feelings would have to wait. Right now, they needed to take care of this monster. The rest... must come later.
Now Colin found himself waiting for an opening while Gilean, Orn, and the two druids bent nature and magic to their will, sending animated trees and rays of light at the taunting madman. As two of the trees converged on Velentham, Colin took his chance, rushing from cover and charging toward Velentham from the side.
Colin was met with the battered body of Kaliadra being tossed at him like a discarded ragdoll with minimal effort form Velentham. Colin instinctively dropped his blades and did his best to catch the broken elf, falling to the ground but managing to spare Kaliadra most of the impact. However, he was vulnerable.
Before he could even react, the celestial was inside his mind. Colin could feel the rough tendrils battering their way through his psyche and heard words spoken as if from a distance, 'Oh... this... he doesn't remember? Cousin! You say I'm a monster? What do you say - a man who uses the disadvantage of another to marry his wife?'
Colin grasped the sides of his head futilely. For all of his strength he could do nothing against this mental intrusion. He was completely at Velentham's mercy, and again, the celestial's voice filtered into his ears, 'What do you say? Let's let him remember, shall we?!'
'No!' But it wasn't Colin who said it. Suddenly, with a rough but precise shove, all the gaps were filled. As simply as a switch being flipped, Colin remembered everything. The memories came in a flood: he and Sanria on the beach, carrying Sanria in his arms to be married, years spent with her wandering dark landscapes, the birth of Orn, the birth of Leandra, struggling to be a father and husband while afflicted by instability. It was all back, and for a moment it was glorious.
Then the new memories merged with the current memories, and it was almost too much. Here he had been. He was back. He had even been with Sanria, unknowingly forming a new love for her even without the memories... but Gilean. How could his friend have taken advantage of his condition like this? How could he have taken Sanria, Colin's wife, as his own? No, this was all wrong. How could he?
The crack of stiff wood against body and a howl of pain brought Colin back to the present. He looked up to see Velentham staggering aside from Orn. Orn. His son, who he loved dearly.
The memories would have to wait. The questions would have to wait. The feelings would have to wait. Right now, they needed to take care of this monster. The rest... must come later.
WHAT?!
WHAT?!
Ruthivan's blood crept up into his neck and he could feel the tension there. He stared at Claire and all he wanted to do was strike her for allowing such a thing to happen - but he couldn't. She'd run off if he did that, then he'd have to track her down and spend time convincing her he didn't mean it. Better to keep his hands off of her and do this the old fashioned way. 'How could you let them in our home, Claire? Are you a fool?'
'No, Ruthivan, but I can't turn away our son.'
'He's not our son, not anymore. He turned his back on everything our people need to breed with a human.'
'Ruthivan, please, be reasonable...'
'Reasonable?' he shouted. 'Is seeing at night in the cities by esper light reasonable to you?'
'No,' Claire looked down.
'Is it reasonable the slaughter of our people to sate the needs of the humans?'
'No,' Claire said quietly, 'But Leandra didn't do that.'
'She's human, isn't she?'
'Yes...'
'Close enough.'
Ruthivan paced the tent. Where had he gone wrong? Perhaps listening to Claire and coming back to this place when he should have kept her, Askari, and all the rest of his children off this planet. No, he came back for her, for Claire, and they were still outcasts. Eladrim would barely accept seeing him to discuss coming back into the fold. Now, with this human girl, there would be no chance at all. He turned to Claire, gripping her shoulder, perhaps harder than he intended. 'This cannot be allowed.'
'Ruthivan,' she begged, 'He's your son...'
'Only in deed. He turned his back on us all. Get rid of him.'
'No.'
Ruthivan stared at Claire, his eyebrow raised, his jaw set. 'No?'
'I won't turn them away if they need help.'
'Damn your soft cow heart. This is urgent and must be done NOW.'
'No. I will help others, even if you don't think I should, even if you won't let me, especially if that one is my son.'
He wanted to choke her. When he had grown so angry with her, he didn't know. Perhaps it was when he found she was no longer bearing children. Perhaps it was seeing that nothing he did caused her enough pride for her flames to burn freely. She was ashamed of him, she loathed him, he could see it. It was all over her face.
Ruthivan pushed the impulse down and took in a long breath. 'Please, be reasonable,' she whispered as she looked at him. Reasonable... she'd never know the meaning of the word.
'If I let him stay, will it please you?' he asked in a low tone, staring down his nose into her eyes.
'Very much,' she said. Even her smile was false. 'Fine. But they stay out there.'
'Thank you, Ruthivan,' and she hugged him.
He watched her walk away, clenching his jaw. There was no change in her flames at all. None whatsoever.
Ruthivan's blood crept up into his neck and he could feel the tension there. He stared at Claire and all he wanted to do was strike her for allowing such a thing to happen - but he couldn't. She'd run off if he did that, then he'd have to track her down and spend time convincing her he didn't mean it. Better to keep his hands off of her and do this the old fashioned way. 'How could you let them in our home, Claire? Are you a fool?'
'No, Ruthivan, but I can't turn away our son.'
'He's not our son, not anymore. He turned his back on everything our people need to breed with a human.'
'Ruthivan, please, be reasonable...'
'Reasonable?' he shouted. 'Is seeing at night in the cities by esper light reasonable to you?'
'No,' Claire looked down.
'Is it reasonable the slaughter of our people to sate the needs of the humans?'
'No,' Claire said quietly, 'But Leandra didn't do that.'
'She's human, isn't she?'
'Yes...'
'Close enough.'
Ruthivan paced the tent. Where had he gone wrong? Perhaps listening to Claire and coming back to this place when he should have kept her, Askari, and all the rest of his children off this planet. No, he came back for her, for Claire, and they were still outcasts. Eladrim would barely accept seeing him to discuss coming back into the fold. Now, with this human girl, there would be no chance at all. He turned to Claire, gripping her shoulder, perhaps harder than he intended. 'This cannot be allowed.'
'Ruthivan,' she begged, 'He's your son...'
'Only in deed. He turned his back on us all. Get rid of him.'
'No.'
Ruthivan stared at Claire, his eyebrow raised, his jaw set. 'No?'
'I won't turn them away if they need help.'
'Damn your soft cow heart. This is urgent and must be done NOW.'
'No. I will help others, even if you don't think I should, even if you won't let me, especially if that one is my son.'
He wanted to choke her. When he had grown so angry with her, he didn't know. Perhaps it was when he found she was no longer bearing children. Perhaps it was seeing that nothing he did caused her enough pride for her flames to burn freely. She was ashamed of him, she loathed him, he could see it. It was all over her face.
Ruthivan pushed the impulse down and took in a long breath. 'Please, be reasonable,' she whispered as she looked at him. Reasonable... she'd never know the meaning of the word.
'If I let him stay, will it please you?' he asked in a low tone, staring down his nose into her eyes.
'Very much,' she said. Even her smile was false. 'Fine. But they stay out there.'
'Thank you, Ruthivan,' and she hugged him.
He watched her walk away, clenching his jaw. There was no change in her flames at all. None whatsoever.
Diary: 2nd of Hammer
I think my mom is stupid. There, I said it. So what. No one is gonna know because no one reads my diary. Even Orn and Reggie don't know I have one. She makes me want to scream.
I hate how she makes my dad upset - she doesn't think I know that she was messing around with that idiot Thasmudyan. I hate him too. He's always hanging around our house, except when he isn't hanging around our house and he's gone away. Then when he's gone my mom gets some stupid sad look in her eyes even though my dad is right there in front of her. I don't care how much he saved Orn's life.
I wish my dad would just tell her to get lost, we don't need her anyway. And Orn, too. He acts like he knows everything and it's just dumb. He runs around with his stupid bear and acts like my mom does.
My mom is going to have a baby by my dad while she's messing around with Thasmudyan. Yeah, it's my fault, I took her tea and hid it cause I know my dad can't keep his hands off of her but it didn't work like I thought it would. They still aren't back together and now we have to deal with some stupid baby in the house and I STILL don't have what I want.
Maybe me and my dad could move out. I'd take care of him and he could find someone else that wouldn't be such a... a... dipshit like my mom. Not that I want another mom. That's the last thing I need.
God. I. Hate. Her. Why can't she just be normal like other moms? Alright. I don't **hate** her, but she makes me so mad I want to just... I don't know. Now she leaves to do some "clan" thing and Orn is up her butt like she's the best thing. Yeah. Me and my dad should just move out. I think that would be the best. Then we could train together and we'd be fine.
I hate how she makes my dad upset - she doesn't think I know that she was messing around with that idiot Thasmudyan. I hate him too. He's always hanging around our house, except when he isn't hanging around our house and he's gone away. Then when he's gone my mom gets some stupid sad look in her eyes even though my dad is right there in front of her. I don't care how much he saved Orn's life.
I wish my dad would just tell her to get lost, we don't need her anyway. And Orn, too. He acts like he knows everything and it's just dumb. He runs around with his stupid bear and acts like my mom does.
My mom is going to have a baby by my dad while she's messing around with Thasmudyan. Yeah, it's my fault, I took her tea and hid it cause I know my dad can't keep his hands off of her but it didn't work like I thought it would. They still aren't back together and now we have to deal with some stupid baby in the house and I STILL don't have what I want.
Maybe me and my dad could move out. I'd take care of him and he could find someone else that wouldn't be such a... a... dipshit like my mom. Not that I want another mom. That's the last thing I need.
God. I. Hate. Her. Why can't she just be normal like other moms? Alright. I don't **hate** her, but she makes me so mad I want to just... I don't know. Now she leaves to do some "clan" thing and Orn is up her butt like she's the best thing. Yeah. Me and my dad should just move out. I think that would be the best. Then we could train together and we'd be fine.
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